Monday, December 1, 2008

THANKSGIVING ....Yes

I cooked food. I ate food. I didn't eat too much. I couldn't stop coughing. I got NO sleep...none. literally. I went shopping. I spent ass tons of money. Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

This year as always I had to make my potato salad. It's pretty much the best thing you've EVER eaten. Luckily, my grandmother taught me how to make it before the day I almost stabbed her with a fork and we no longer are speaking to one another.
I also made an apple pie with homemade crust for the first time. Apple pie's totally not my thing, but I still tried it. It was way too tart for me. The crust was so freakin' easy to make though and turned out beautifully.
Instead of cooking, I shoulda been sewing, but I had to bust my ass to get the few things cooked that I needed to. Once we got home I started to really feel like ass.....I still shoulda sewed. I tried to will it away since my mom and I do the whole black friday shopping and I needed to be up at 4 a.m. so I could get my laptop. Yeah, I'm so one of those.

Since I was hackin' my brains out all night, I got absolutely no sleep whatsoever. Nothin' four shots of espresso couldn't fix though.

We got to the Best Buy close to our house around 4:30 and gave up. There was like 9,000 people there......tents and all. Office Depot was having a laptop sale too so we headed there. We were about 60ish in line or so. I missed out on the best deal, but was able to get the next one. They only had 7 in the store and my mom and I both got one of them.

At one point, standing in line, I thought I was about to start windmilling all over the place. People were all crowdin' me and shit and I could feel this one 8 foot tall 350 lb. black dude from Zimbabwe breathing on my hair. I could feel veins poppin' outta my forehead and thought I was really about to lose my shit. On top of him being so close to me I could feel his breath splitting my hairs. Then, he started to get all mad because I was the last one to get a laptop and I could feel his breathing even more. Just as I was about to turn around and say "hey dude, you wanna back the fuck up before I shit on your shoe?" he stomped off to another register to see if he could get one there. I seriously did need to poo. What? You totally know espresso makes everybody poo.

On and on we went all freakin' day. I spent WAY too much money (what's new?) and I'm still not finished. Money sucks. People shopping on black friday suck, too. Excluding me and my mom of course. At one point I thought I was gonna fall over dead then I had another four shots of espresso. Then I really needed to poo. I hate pooing in public, but what're you gonna do? I even saw a girl I work with at Target and she was all "hey Jessica!" I was all "Hey, sorry, gotta go, I'm about to poo my pants". Stupid espresso.
THEN, once I finally got up to the register at Target the lady rung me up and ran my card without takin' all my coupons off. She cancelled the sale, took the coupons off and re-ran the card.....DENIED! No shit....denied. You know that flushed hot feelin' you get when you get denied????? Well, multiply that by like a quadrillion on black friday when there's 800 people behind you, foamin' at the mouth waitin' to get to the next store. I of course got pissed knowing damn well that there was no reason to be denied so I had to call the freakin' bank and have then fix the shit.....turns out my card bein' run twice in a row like that put up a red flag for fraud alert. I guess that's good, but shit......it was BLACK FRIDAY. Give a girl a break.

Now, I just need my kids to be gone for a day so I can go trough everything and get it wrapped.....so I can get it under the tree!!!! YAAAAYYYY!!!! I freakin' love Christmas time!!!!

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