Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fluffidermy!

I would say 90% of my friends are into buyin' taxidermy. The stuff that lined the walls of my family's homes is more popular than ever! The difference bein' that my family shot that junk themselves and proudly displayed their trophies and ate the rest....

Seein' as how the closest I get to huntin' is huntin' the best deals possible on groceries and I can barely afford toilet paper these days taxidermy ain't gonna find itself to the already awesome walls of my house anytime soon.

HOWEVER......

You know, I've been makin' my Battle Scrarred Bears again and in the midst of all the hubub over taxidermy, I decided to start puttin' their sweet little heads on plaques.....and voila!......my own dadgum taxidermy........FLUFFIDERMY!!!


I've seen lots of other crafty made....uhhhh....idermy, and even proudly display feltidermy by girlsavage on one of my walls. Fluffidermy is my spin on the awesome that is stuffed craft ...idermy!.....and dammit....even though I didn't kill nothin' I made it and it's hangin' on my wall!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

East Atlanta Strut 2010


I've been sewin' my fingers off tryin' to get ready for the East Atlanta Strut. It was the first show I had ever done and it was a BLAST! Bein' used to your standard kinda craft shows, you know the ones.....wood cut into silly stuff, marsh mellow guns, lace and potpourri, you can imagine my excitement when I was accepted to do the Strut, which ain't your mama's craft show.

After three years, I've decided to give it a go again. I've really focused on my bears since that's what I really enjoy makin' and it's what everyone seemed to like best. You definitely won't find anything else like 'em out there! They're all sad lookin' and junk.....and people wanna hug 'em when they see 'em.

I started sewin' these guys three years ago and after readin' an article in a magazine about a man that went to war, was burned badly while there and came home to his finance, married her and made babies with her despite all his scars, I was inspired to make the Battle Scarred. Most of 'em are missin' limbs and are just beggin' to be loved.

"We all have scars. Some are in the inside, some are on the outside, but no matter what, we all still need to be loved!"



This year, I'll have some of my aprons made outta vintage pillow cases.....



Some Christmas stockings.....



and rings made outta vintage buttons......

Life has definitely been crazy lately, so I hope to really do well at the show! Can't freakin' wait! See y'all the 18th!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

June 28 - I Heart Faces Pet Entry



I know, I know....it's be FOREVER since I last posted, but life has majorly gotten in the way. Lots and lots of ups and downs....well mostly downs, but who am I to complain?

....and I'm totally not about to be a Debbie Downer and start whinin'.....that'll come later...I promise.....I'm doin' this here post 'cuz I wanna have an awesome picture of our ol' Wheezy Lee and Vin to be posted on the I Heart Faces Blog. It's my first time and Lord knows I probably ain't gonna get it right the first 1,600 times I try, but I'm gonna give it a go anyhow.

Despite life totally suckin' these days, I do have a constant source of entertainment....when she's not being a total crappin' machine that is.....

I introduced Wheezy Lee to y'all a while back and she's been growin' like mad. To catch you up on everything you've missed, she hates swimmin' despite my best efforts....she refuses to be crate trained.....she thinks the couch is her personal bed and pushes the pillows all over the place.....I still say she's totally narcoleptic....and she likes to chew on the house and garden hoses, and toes. Yeah.

When we first brought her home we had some problems with Lil' Vin wantin' to eat her face off....


.....but now she towers over him so he's pretty much given up that fight. Bless his heart.....

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

FML

This whole tryin' to be positive shit ain't workin' today.....or for the past few days as a matter of fact.

I'm tired. My mind hasn't absorbed so much learnin' since I was like.....I dunno.....youngish.

You know what learnin' overkill does to me? Shuts me down.....fucks me up. All this thinkin' straight at the new job ain't lettin' me think straight anywhere else. I get home and my brain turns to fondue. I'm so, so, so tired.

On top of this tired shit, my weekends are PACKED...and now I have no money for these packed weekends. Not only did I take a HUGE pay cut, but Jeremy's job just decided that his position is no longer needed....so.....they've put him back to what he did when he first started workin' there three years ago and MAJORLY cut his pay. MAJORLY.

When the fuck does this stop?

I've said over and over.....good things come to good people. What'd I do that ain't good?????

I even gave that chick standin' at the exit beggin for money a $20 bill because I felt bad for her because her shoes were shit. Yeah. TWENTY DOLLARS.

....and, and...this whole couponing shit......takes up way too much of my time and I'm not sure how well it's gonna work for me. Today I spent $71 and saved $54.01. What'd that $71 get me? Not a damned thing I woulda otherwise bought. Well except a $20 prescription, toilet paper. lettuce and some bread. Everything else is shit I wouldn't have even bought. So let's do the math.....spent $71.....only $31.25 was shit I needed....that mean I wasted $39.75. I mean I woulda bought some cereal which I got 4 boxes of, but I got a bunch of cereal already.........so with the amount of time I spend cuttin' coupons, matchin' up deals and makin' my list is it really worth it? I don't see it. I'll give it a couple more weeks though.

I need to start makin' bears again. I know I've said it like 100 times already, but I really do. What's holdin' me back???? First, my sewing room is still shit from after the 814 times that our basement flooded over the last 8 months. It's hard to get motivated when you don't even know where shit is. I need neat and clean to get motivated. Second....time. Between life in general, couponing and jam packed weekends, I got none. Third......the whole havin' a brain made outta fondue, I'm lucky I remember to wear a bra to work.

I need a break. From reality.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Miss Mamie's Cupcakes

These......

Came from Miss Mamie's Cupcakes on the Marietta Square....



and so did these......and they're totally gonna add another month to my already pregnant lookin' belly.....




Behold the beauty.....



I had NO idea this place was just right up the road from me. I, like everybody else worship cupcakes and when Chewy told me about it at like 9 on a Friday night, I grabbed my keys and was out the door. Ok, so I wasn't but if I thought for half a second they were open, I woulda went.....footy pajamas and all.....

We made plans to go the next day when Chewy was finished workin' and I know I had sent her a text before the sun even came up askin' her what the hell was takin' so danged long........

When we got there I was overwhelmed.....how could I only choose one?!?!



I ended up gettin' rocky road and reese's.....Chewy got margarita and strawberry......and the girl got lemon and devil's food.

I don't get the whole fruit and cupcakes thing.....and after the girl licked half the icing off her lemon cupcake, she decided she wasn't into fruit and cupcakes either so.....I ate it for her. Turns out fruit and cupcakes ain't half bad. As a matter of fact, it's pretty amazing and my second favorite.....



Chewy also went for the fruit and cupcake combo.....strawberry.......she said it was "the bomb".....



Before I dug into mine, I had to have a moment of silence for the cupcake gods.....I started oh so slowly peeling back the wrapper, mouth waterin'......Good gawd.....food porn.....



After one bite, I shoveled the rest in.......all at once.......


Gone......in my bell-eh.......


When it was all said and done, I ended up eatin' 3 outta the 6 cupcakes. The girl forgot she had another one to eat and when I saw it the next mornin' I had it for breakfast.....

You know what the best part is?....I can walk to Mamie's from my new job.....and I will.....and god knows I'll need the exercise with all the cupcakes I plan on consumin'......

I predict in the near future, the followin' cupcakes will meet their fate in my belly.....Boston Creme, Chocolate Mint, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Coca-Cola, Guinness, Honey Oatmeal, Gingerbread, Pistachio, Pumpkin, Red Velvet, Sweet Potato and Toffee.....and of course like 600 more of the Lemon and Reese's Peanut Butter cupcake.....

If I go missin', there's a good chance you can find me passed out in a cupcake coma on the floor of Miss Mamie's.....chocolate icing smeared on my face......

I totally give Miss Mamie a short and stumpy thumbs up.......

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Where I'm At

I have no internet access at work and it's killin' me. It's nuts how hooked on that shit I am! I'm used to havin' Facebook open all day.....chattin' with friends, lookin' at all the stupid shit posted.....no mas. One day, I'm gonna go missin' and my new co-workers are gonna find me huddled in a corner rockin' back and forth droolin' on myself mumblin' somethin' about Facebook destroyin' my life. I hope they just put me outta my misery right then and there.......

Unfortunately, my blog's gonna take the biggest hit. I've always blogged from from work. It was nice and quiet and I could THINK which is somethin' that's dang near impossible to do at home. This whole havin' a husband and kids thing doesn't really afford me the time or the quiet I need to write.

Today though I decided I don't really care about all those hours of Facebook updates. They were amusing at work, but once I'm at home, ehhh....whatever....but I've gotta figure out somethin' with my blog. I LOVE writing......so yeah. I'll figer it out.

On a completely different note, I did the whole couponing thing for the first time this week.




I was totally THAT person at the check out handin' over a wad of coupons. I got $145 worth of groceries for $76! Pretty fuckin' amazin' if you ask me. I was a total ratard about all of it (and still kinda am). I couldn't figure out how the hell to do it.....this whole coupining thing......so I had to be shown.....and that whole bein' shown thing.....well....that's leadin' to yet another change and.....

Change is good right? Right?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

What the Hell Were You Lookin' For???

I have a statcounter on my blog that shows me all kindsa awesomeness. I loved seein' where people are from that look at my blog....how they came to it......how long they spent readin' my nonsense......I used to look at it everyday, but I eventually got to where I just don't check it as often and now, I hardly ever check at all. Another thing that has fallen to the wayside, because I've got other shit to do.....

I do LOVE the statcounter's "recent keyword activity". It can be pretty danged amusin'. It shows you what words were searched for that brought a person to your blog. I've been compiling a list of my favorites for a while.....it's pretty crazy the shit people search for. Even more crazy is the fact that some of the crazy shit people've searched for brings them to my harmless blog. I've google the words and linked to the posts the searches lead to...



how to hit a retard - What? He grabbed my vagina!

six blak gay weht aneml - Um....ewww.

shredded tongue - Surprise your friends....cook this and just tell 'em it's roast. They'll LOVE it and after they tell you how awesome it is, tell 'em what it really is.

girl squirting blogspot - yeah...not sure. I googled it and got tired of wadin' through all the squirtin' girls.

I need small slut shoes - I do love me some slut shoes. Too bad I'm all fat and my feet are all small so I walk around like a weeble wobble....and then I do fall down.

how do you get the tires off a 62 comet - Ummm.....a jack and a tire iron perhaps?

where u bitches going tonight - Us bitches do like goin' out....

I pretend I'm hiking on the treadmill - I still whimper and cry a little when I think of this. I.....am scarred.

do little boys butts stink
- What the fuck? Why would someone google this?!?!? Bet they were disappointed when the got to my blog and read about plastic charms, Galaxy High and Multiples.

Am I gay if I like tighty whities?
If you are under the age of 55, yes, yes you are.

Where can I buy a beer bike?
I dunno, but when you find out, you gotta tell me, cuz I bet I can figer out how to make a whiskey bike.....

I've never really felt it before...but I think I like it... - I didn't feel nothin', but it was nice that somebody finally listened and took their pannies off.

I'm eight months pregnant and haven't exercised - I'm about 8 1/2 months now and have been for like 4 months.

Death is like a garbage - Ever been doused in trash can juice? I have.

Shit in panties - I did not.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Got My Free Moo Cards!

.....and they ain't mini sized anymore!


I love 'em!!!

I Wish I was Better At It

Having meaningless chit chat with strangers. Like when you're stuck on an elevator and someone says something about the weather.....c'mon....I'd rather not have to talk to you.....and your cologne smells like ass....but I'd really like to have meaningless chitchat and not even think of it as "meaningless"....just think of it as a part of life.....right now though, it just irritates me.

Givin' a shit. When one of the kids or myself or Jeremy is sick or there's something crazy happenin' in our lives, co-workers and friends alike will ask how things are....I don't really ever ask. Is it because I don't wanna know? I don't care? I don't know. I can make myself ask the question, but I can't make myself even hear their answer. I'm not sayin' I'm like that with EVERYONE 100% of the time (I'm not totally cold, there are actually people I care about), but I'm like that with most everyone. I really hate that about myself.

Not biting my nails. I have short, fat, stubby boy hands with gnawed fingernails. That shit's gross.

Maintaining yard work. It seems like such a futile effort. Weeds are gonna grow in the flower beds faster than I can pull them and grass just doesn't wanna grow in the yard....and I don't wanna waste money on trying to make it grow either.

Keepin' my house clean. Some time ago, chances are if you called me, I was cleanin' somethin'. I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. Then I got a life and it slowed down....then I slowed down some more....then I pretty much quit.....ok so I didn't, but I don't do it like I should.

Caring.



Being spontaneous. I like to always have a plan and always stick to that plan. I like to be on time everywhere I go and when I'm even a few minutes behind, I panic. The way I see it, spontaneity doesn't really work when you have kids and dogs that have to be taken care of, but other people who have one or the other or even both seem to be successful and just gettin' up and doin' somethin' without a plan. Why can't I?

Forgetting. I can forgive all day long, it's the forgettin' part I seem to have trouble with. I think if you forget certain things, you can find yourself at a fork in the road and you can accidentally take a road you've already been down before that you probably shouldn't go down again, but who knows......with the pace at which our world is changin', that path could be totally different......but I don't wanna find out the hard way that it's not.

Remembering. There are so many things I have done, said, seen or been a part of that I just can't remember. I can't remember pretty big milestones in both the kid's lives. Someone will say, "oh shit...remember when you blah, blah blah....that was funny as hell".....nope....don't remember, but it sounds like something I would do.

Pronunciation. I just can't say "going"....I gotta say "gonna". Even in an interview....I'm all white trash and sayin' shit like, "They're gonna let me continue to work until I find a new job". Gonna. Yep. How I type is pretty much how I talk. Sayin' going sounds retarded to me. It just ain't natural. I wish I could get over that so I didn't sound so white trash when I don't need to.

Stayin' focused. Prime example. I wrote "stayin' focused" like 10 minutes ago. Then I picked my nose, looked to see what kinda treasure I had and saw I had black sharpie all over my hands. So I went to the bathroom to wash the black off and decided I should braid my hair....and then I thought, I bet that big ass bobble head helmet I have would look better with braids instead of my fro pokin' out.....so I went and grabbed the helmet.....and then I saw the computer sittin' there and remembered I was writing here. See? I'm like a squirrel chasin' after shiny shit.

Saving money. I can't do it. I wanna do it, but then I think when I die, I can't take it with me......so I'll spend it now. I know I need to save....I just can't do it. Credit cards are satan....if I could just save for a few months, I could buy that part I need for my car without using a credit card.

Ending the things I write more smoothly. You see....when I'm done....I'm done.....and that ain't very good for someone who fancies herself a decent writer. There should be some sort of transition ya know?

The End.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Beans Don't Fry In the Kitchen....

Beans don't burn on the griiillll......

Yeah, that totally has nothin' to do with this post, but I woke up at like 6 o'clock Saturday mornin' (which is when I initially started writin' this, but my internet kept shittin' out on me!) and had that Sinead O'Connor song "Nothing Compares to You" stuck in my head. I laid in bed until just before 7 singin' the same shit over and over and over....

It's been seeevvven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away
I go out ever-ry night and sleep all daaa-ay
Since you took your love away
Since you've been gone I can do whatever I waa-aaa-aaant

I can see whomever I choose

I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaaa-aaa-aaaaurant, but nothin'....I said nothin' can take away these bluuuuuuuuuues
'Cuz nothin' compares Nothin' compares to yeeeeewwwwww.

That song was me and my first boyfriend's "song" and it's one of my all time favorite songs, but I didn't particularly wanna be singin' that song all day.....so I started singin' Beans don't fry in the kitchen, burns don't burn on the grilllll...took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hillllll......

.....and then I got outta bed and ate another pancake and bacon cupcake.


Two words.....HEA-VEN. More than you can possibly imagine. I've promised the recipe so here it is.....

You'll need to make sure you have the followin' stuff and if you ain't got it, you gotta get it:

Cupcake tin (this recipe makes 24 cupcakes)
Cupcake Liners

1 pack of bacon

Cupcakes:
Box of Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Butter Recipe Yellow cake mix....which requires:
3 Eggs
1/2 c. softened butter
2/3 c. water

For Frosting:
2 Tblsp. softened butter
2 Tblsp. maple syrup (like Ain'tcha Mama....you don't need anything fancy)
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar

1. Lay out butter so it can come up to room temperature
2. Preheat oven according to box (depends on what kinda pan you use)
3. Put liners in cupcake tin
4. Cook bacon and once cooled, cut up into pieces
5. Mix cake according to the box and stir in 3/4 of the bacon
6. Bake according to box

While cupcakes are baking, make frosting:

1. In a medium sized bowl, beat butter (has to be room temp!) and maple sugar with mixer until well blended
2. Gradually add in the powdered sugar

It doesn't look like it makes much, but it's the PERFECT amount for 24 cupcakes!

Once cupcakes have finished baking, pull them out and let them cool COMPLETELY on a cooling rack prior to frosting.

Once they've TOTALLY cooled, frost them bad boys and top with bacon sprinkles....yes....I said bacon sprinkles!

Now, go do it and try not to eat at least a half dozen of 'em at once!


...and just so's ya know, you go to to Publix and buy their cupcake holders for like .50 a piece. Other store may do it to, but I know Publix does.

Monday, April 26, 2010

In the Meantime......

I made these Friday night.....


and these.....

......Pancake and bacon cupcakes......with maple frosting. Oh. My. Gah. HEA-VEN. They were a pretty big hit for anybody that was brave enough to try 'em. Addictive actually. Lots and lots of people asked me for the recipe. I spent way to much time writin' it all out to post here and my internet took a shit TWICE....and didn't save it......so I have to write it a third danged time. I'll get around to it this week....swear.

So, in the meantime.....this is what's been happenin' in our lives.....

This little lady was one of two Italian Greyhounds that stayed at our house when me and a couple of my girlfriends had a slumber party.

These dogs are the sweetest, preciousest dogs like ever. I never knew such sugary sweetness existed in dogs.....

.....especially compared to this devil who is only sugary sweet when she's sacked the fuck out........


This.....


......is what Jeremy did to our one of our cats. He's so fat he can't even jump up on our bed. He has to jump half way up and claw his way up the rest of the way. His spit smells like ass too. Like if you start pettin' him, he drools and if you get it on your hand, it smells so bad you puke when you smell it hours later.

I bought myself.....uh hmmmm......the girl....this over the weekend.....


These are some other treasures I got this weekend......

I love treasures. It was a fun day. Yep....

Until this happened......


See that ginormous lump on my forehead? It's a mosquito bite. It was huge and rubbery feelin'....everybody pointed and laughed....I kept my hand on my forehead for like 42 minutes so nobody would stare.....it didn't work......

Oh! I forgot....I got a job! YESSSSSSSS!!! Closer to home......all kindsa awesome benefits.....it's the kinda job you stay with FOREVER and retire from.....and I'll be makin' WAY less money. Hey....it's a job. I'm lucky to have gotten one.....thank you sweet baby jesus. Amen.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Puberty.....Do What Now?

I don't even know where to begin here.

Should I start with the part about the lump?

Should I start with the word congratulations?

Should I start with the part about gay sex?

Sweet Jesus help me.

Again.........


I remember when I was in 4th grade I took a gymnastics class offered by my school. I loved the thought of all the twistin' and turnin' and flippin'.....and Mary Lou Retton made it all look so effortless. Turns out though, the closest to Mary Lou Retton I'd ever be was the black, purple, blue and white leotard I wore that had her name on the tag.

I can see that leotard as clear as if I still had it today......and with my memory, that's a pretty big accomplishment. I remember it because I dreaded havin' to put that damn thing on. DREADED IT. All the color was on the upper half and the bottom half was white. I can remember thinkin'.....I hope nobody can see my hairs pokin' outta this thing.

You know....those hairs that're....... down yonder. I was MORTIFIED by those hairs. It's all I'd think about when I was wearin' my leotard. Now I know that nobody coulda seen a thing, but I knew they were there and I was very uncomfortable and unsure about that and all that came with goin' through puberty.

I mean, who knows.....I coulda been the next Mary Lou Retton if I'd not been so worried about people seein' THOSE hairs.......

Ok. So.........

The girl came home from school the other day with a lump in one of her breasts (can you even call them that at this point?) . She said somebody had elbowed her when they were playin' and that's when she noticed it. It was tender and it was definitely a lump.

I called her doctor and had to leave a message. A few hours later, my phone rings, I answer it, and the doctor says, "Congratulations you have a girl that's starting puberty."

I'm sorry.....do what now??? No.

That's all.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

No, wait that's not all. I just needed a moment.

After I came to grips with it all and figured that even if I stuffed her in a closet and slid a tray of food under the door a couple times a day, I couldn't stop this. I've been preppin' her for this already, because I don't want her to ever feel self conscience like I did.

I'm just.....not ready for a girl goin' through puberty. With the boy, it didn't phase me so much (well except maybe that time I walked in the bathroom and saw that he had sprouted a garden down yonder.....I hadn't expected THAT.....I'm sorry, I still can't talk about it).

When I got off the phone with the doctor, I called the girl into the kitchen and told her she didn't have breast cancer (the first thing outta her mouth when she told me, but she said she knew she was too young for that), she was just startin' puberty. She says "yeah that's what I figured...so I'm gonna start growin' boobs now right?"

No.

Dammit.

So then I say "well, at least I've already gotten the "talk" outta the way."

She says, "the talk?"

....."yeah, THE talk....you know".....and then she gets it.

Then she says......"about that"......

......."I've been meanin' to ask you".........

......."You know gay people? Do they do it too?"

Sweet Jesus.

I always, always, ALWAYS want her to feel comfortable askin' me anything and everything.....and to accomplish that, I feel like I need to never show the "holy fuck, I think I'm about to puke" feelings that these kinda questions evoke in me.

I close my eyes.

Take a deep breath......

....and turn to look at her.

She's just standin' there lookin' at me all, "well, you gonna answer me?"

I turn back to cleanin' out the microwave and say, "yes honey.......all adults who are in a committed relationship and love each other VERY, VERY, VERY much can have sex."

She says....."even gay people??? How?"

Ugh......

Flashes of destroying a young innocent mind flash through my head.

I ain't about to paint THAT picture for her.

I settle on sayin' "just like everybody else.....they figure it out.....not stop askin' me questions....you got a sore throat don't you......go sit down and be quiet for a while."

Dammit.

I'm so glad the boy keeps to himself with these sorta things. Even though I try to get stuff out of him, and tell him all the same things about how I want him to feel comfortable about askin' me ANYTHING, he never asks THOSE kinda questions. The worst I got from him was, "Mom, how old were you when you first had sex?"

That threw me for a loop, but I feel more comfortable answering his questions than I am the girl's.......it's the whole double standard thing between raisin' boys and girls.

The boy, as soon as I think he's thinkin' about doin' it (ok, I know he's already thinkin' about it....how about thinkin' about actin' on the thought), I'm gonna hand him a box a rubbers and tell him all the nasty shit that can happen to him if he doesn't wear one.

The girl on the other hand.....dammit.......

I can't even think about it.

I refuse.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

50 Free Moo Mini Cards!

Moo Mini Cards are my favorite business cards ever! They're these little mini business cards that you can put your own photo or image on (up to 100 different images per order!).... and you can even put an image on the back with all your contact info too. They're not the best priced business cards out there ($19.99 for a box of 100), but they're ridiculously cute and people definitely take notice of them when you hand them one......and right now, you can get 50 free cards!

I've totally slacked on makin' things lately, but with all the time off I'm probably about to have, I figured it'd be a good time to start makin' my bears again. I may even do a show or two over the Summer....who knows what the future holds. Either way, I need new business cards and there's not a better time to get some then when I can get 50 free!

Here's the set I had made a few years ago......people LOVED them.....(I even had a batch printed up that had a little bit of the back story for my Battle Scarred Bears and used them as tags for the one's that were at the Spruill Gallery).


Because they're free, there will be a Moo Cards promotion bar on the side of the cards...... No big deal...they're FREE!....and trust me, when you hand out these cards, people'll ask questions because they're so unique and with the promotion bar, all the info they need is right there on the card....even with a discount code for first time users.

When you get your 50 free, you'll have to pay for shipping......$6 I think. There's also and option to put a certain amount of money towards your next purchase of Moo Cards (up to $10) and they'll match that amount! I chose to put $10 towards my next purchase so I have a $20 credit waiting for me when I decide to reorder! SUH-WEET!

I'm not sure when this offer ends, so you better get on it if you're interested!!!

Friday, April 16, 2010

She Shows Her Face

In 1994, I followed a boy to Alaska. I came back with Freya.

She's been through a lot in her 16 years. She's been on a 13 hour plane ride which forever changed her personality, lived in at least 6 different places, and survived two kids that went through the terrible two's for like 3 years.


A few years ago she decided to crawl under our bed and never come out. Up until recently, the only way to get her out was to wait until you could see her tail pokin' out from under the bed and give it a good yank. That sure as shit pissed her off, but damn....if I don't cut her nails once a month, they'll grow into her little toes!

Once I'd finally drag her out, I'd have to hold her so tight I'd dang near squeeze her guts out her butt and she'd just eyeball me with her huge ass eyes like she was shootin' laser beams through me. The very second I'd finish, back under the bed she'd go.



For the past several months though she's been comin' out a lot hangin' out on our bed instead of under it. She still never leaves our room, but it's nice to see some sun shinin' on her pretty little face.




I say she's gonna out live us all.......

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Music for Yer Soul....My Soul....Whatever

My new musical obsessions.....at the moment......

(You'll want to pause my music player in the sidebar if you wanna watch any of these!)

Even though the first time I heard this song, it was only a little snippet (gawd I hate that word), it grabbed me and didn't let go. It took me about 20 minutes of listenin' to that little part over and over and googling different lyrics from it until I finally found it.

Chuck Ragan......Between the Lines.








This song makes me wanna drive fast, smoke cigarettes, drink whiskey and shake my ass....all at the same time.

Every Time I Die....We'rewolf








By now you all know I have a weakness for the ridiculous. Especially when it comes to booty shakin' music. Can't remember how I came across this, but it was on the computer. I watched the video like 18 times.....then I decided that I wanted to do the chair dancin' part with my friend Chewy......and we'd wear leotards. One day. I swear.

Beyonce f/Lady Gaga......Video Phone








Yet another song that makes me wanna drive fast, smoke cigarettes, drink whiskey and shake my ass....and maybe even take my pannies off.....all at the same time.

The video's pretty funny, but the song on it's own doesn't have all the cartoon shit in it.

Peter Pan Speedrock.......Resurrection




Last, but not least.

This here song takes my back to bein' a teenager when I was nothin' but right all the time and I didn't give a shit what anybody else had to say about anything.

Wait....that's me now....anyhow.....

This song has became my favorite thing to say whenever I'm questioned about anything.

Smut Peddlers......Fuck You, That's Why




Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dear Facebook Quizzes, You Can't Always Be Right

According to Facebook, I am 100% Latina, I could survive a zombie takeover for 3.5 years, if I were to go to jail it would be because I "just had to shoot that guy", my ghetto nickname is June Bug and the sandwich that best represents me is a pulled pork sammich.

I'd say all that's pretty dead on wouldn't you?

Man I love Facebook. I ain't ashamed to admit it.

(Click the picture to find out how addicted to Facebook you are.)


...and the quizzes are just a small part of that love. I mean shit....who doesn't wanna know what dead rockstar they most resemble or what kinda kiss (not kisser...just kiss) they are?!?! Psht...I totally do.

The most recent quiz I took was called "What's your biggest weakness?" This was the result......
Your heart. You are often loved because of your outgoing and fun personality, and you like to give hugs and flirt, but underneath it all you are lacking heart. You find it hard to love others through all the walls you've built around your heart from being hurt so much throughout life, but you want to love, you desperately want that fun, that you see in others, but you don't know if you can have it in your current circumstances. You want stability, but at the same time you need change. You go from one extreme to another and often feel overwhelmed when you can't figure out something. You think about your life often and how you can improve your character. The walls need to crumble for you to truly be YOU.

Ok, so.....I would like to have a word with the Facebook quizzerer people and just say.....YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I may be 100% Latina and I may be the doggy style position, but you got that shit all wrong. Just sayin'......guess you can't be right all the time. I'll let this one slide Facebook, but don't let it happen again.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Cigarette Box Flash Diffuser

A few months back I took a photography class taught by Jenn at BlondeShot Creative. In the class I had told her how much I hated usin' a flash. It washes out people and just doesn't capture the moment the way you see it.....even through the lens of the camera.

Jenn suggested a homemade remedy to diffuse the brightness of the flash by using a film canister. I came home and dug through all my junk lookin' for a film canister, but haven't bought film in like 8 kabillion years. After comin' up empty handed, I sat on the couch and pouted for a while then I just completely forgot about it.

Today, Jenn sent me an email with a link showin' how to make a flash diffuser usin' a box of cigarettes. I knew I had one of those!.....or Jeremy did anyways. I couldn't wait to get home and try it. I had to wait for Jeremy to get home and as soon as he walked in I asked if he could empty his pack of cigarettes.

This is what you'll need........

Your digital SLR with pop up flash, a pack of smokes (emptied with foil still in it) and a knife.



After carefully pulling out the foil, makin' sure not to rip it, cut one edge of the bottom of the box.


Here's what it should look like after you've cut it.....


Turn the foil inside out so that when you put it back in, the foil's facin' in........


Push it all the way back in......


Once you have popped up your flash, put the box on like this......


I messed around with it quite a bit while takin' pictures and actually ended up turnin' the box around so the top was opening up the other way like in the link Jenn had sent me.


Here's my first shot....without the diffuser. (You're diggin' my awesome red makeup free skin ain't ya?). I'm all shiny and icky.......


This one is with the diffuser......much prettier and softer........


Without diffuser.........


With diffuser.......


Without diffuser......


With diffuser.......


I really had a lot of fun takin' these pictures and as you can see it really worked! I definitely wanna try the film canister diffuser now. I think it may stay on better. I had some trouble keepin' the cigarette box on at times and don't think it would be too practical if I were takin' say some inside party pictures. If you're just doin' some still shots around the house this method will work just fine!

Thanks Jenn!!!

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