'Cuz I Felt Like It!

Crisis averted......she totally fell for it.....or at least she pretended to. This is how it all went down..... I stopped at TJ Maxx on the way home and grabbed this way cute little elf. There's a whole lotta cuteness to match it that I wanted to buy too, but this is one broke bitch, and the elf was a necessity. I got home and said to the girl, "I got the weirdest voicemail today at work. It said..... Collect call from the North Pole, press 1 to accept ". Keep in mind that I am the WORLD'S WORST liar. This was no small feat for me. The girl was all, "MOM!!! That coulda been Little Jimmy callin' to explain why he ain't here on time, and YOU missed the call!"...... "Ain't no way it can be this easy" I thought. There is NO way the girl's fallin' for this shit. She calls me out on EVERYTHING and she don't do it subtly. She all bob's her head and holds up that one finger sayin' she ain't no dummy.....she'...

It's December 1st and Little Jimmy shoulda made his first appearance at the house this morning. Evidently, I hid Little Jimmy so good that last time last year that even I can't find him. This is no bueno. Little Jimmy is an Elf on the Shelf . We read the book, he shows up in a different spot every morning and watches and reports back to Santa every night. Seriously. The boy gets it. He knows. The elf ain't nothin' but a stuffed doll. The girl....she still believes. She was snoopin' around a week or so ago and found the book that Little Jimmy is SUPPOSED to be stuffed in after Christmas and said "Mom! Little Jimmy's not in his book! He's gone back to the North Pole to get all his instructions!" "Dammit. She STILL believes in Little Jimmy", I remember thinkin'. I mean really, you try comin' up with 30 different hidin' spots for a little elf that won't take your kids more than a few minutes to find every mornin...