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Showing posts from February, 2010

I'm Laugin' At You

How old are you again?!?!?

Yep. Totally laughin' you.


The "S" Word

We had the "talk" with the boy just before he went into middle school, because from what I hear, girls are givin' boys rim jobs in the fuckin' bathroom in middle school these days. If that shit was happenin' when I was in middle school, I was certainly oblivious to it, but I don't think that's the case. I think we were still, for the most part, kids.....worried about kid things.

When we had the talk with the boy it was cake. I mean it was slightly uncomfortable, but we told him about STD's, the importance of rubbers, and what every slang word for sex or anything related to sex was. Good times.

The boy never asked about sex. He didn't and still doesn't give a shit. I know you're sayin' "that's what you think", but trust me.....he'd rather be playin' video games.

I knew the talk would come earlier for the girl. When she was 4, Sex and the City was picked up on public television and they started to run commerci…

One Weeked to the Next

This weekend was freakin' gorgeous.

We spent some time at the park with the kids and figured we'd take Wheeze to the dog park since she was doin' nothin' but pissin' our other dogs off.... I hated the dog park. People wanna talk to you and pick up your dog. Because she's a puppy, I guess they assume they have the right to do that. Then, you got little kids bendin' over and touchin' your dog without askin' and when you tell 'em they shouldn't because your dog likes to claw and snap at people that get in her face because she's just a puppy and they, nor their stupid ass parents, listen and then they act all surprised when said puppy jumps up and claws the kid's face.....yeah, see where I'm goin'. All I had to say was...."I told you...maybe you shoulda listened".

Outside of all the idiots that were at the park, it was really nice. It was good to see the boy actually outside gettin' some exercise....and…

Finally. Snow.

Growin' up, we always had a "snow day" or two every single year. We'd watch the news until the last minute before our bedtime, prayin' that our school would be on the list of school closings and the second we saw it was, we headed for bed anxious for the next day to get here already.

We'd get up at the ass crack of dawn and start layerin' the shit out of our clothes. We'd put ziploc baggies over our socks before we put on our shoes and then we'd head for the garage to grab a trash can lid so we could hit the hill in the neighbor's yard. We'd stay out for HOURS. Our fingers would damn near be fallin' off by the time we got back in. The thawin' out process was excruciating, but as soon as we had a bowl of ramen in our bellies and had somewhat regained the feelin' in our fingers, we headed right back out.

Man those were the days.

Now, whenever snow's mentioned on the news, it's in the EXTREME northern part of the state. We…

I Feel So Far Behind

Our girl's been sick all this week. You know those fish that hitchhike on the backs of sharks? That's what she's been like for the last several days....meaning she was stuck to me like glue and I couldn't get shit done, and by the time she finally detached herself, I had caught her cold and couldn't get off the couch. Between the cold and having to give the girl breathin' treatments every four hours around the clock, I'm wiped out. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people that can get up in the middle of the night for 20 minutes and go back to bed and fall right back to sleep, so sleep deprivation has been an issue this week.

Let's also put a puppy that's in what's equivalent to the terrible two's into the mix and wow.....I don't know what's kept me from hittin' the bottle. When we first brought Weezy home, she was just like an infant.....up long enough to eat and poo and back to sleep she went. Now, she plays, plays, plays.…

I've Changed My Mind

After last Saturday's shoot with Jenn of BlondeShot Creative, I think I've decided to become a professional pin up model instead of moving to Hollywood to pursue an actin' career. I mean I'm a natural. You've seen the photos. Like I said before, I have a lot of friends/acquaintances who are models and I think I've learned a quite a bit from lookin' at their photos.

Why do girls model? Boys....they want to be looked at by boys. That's why girl's do it. I mean that's why I'm gonna do it anyways. You saw my skills in all the other photos. I got MAD modelin' skills. Look at this one......I'm all sexy and shit hangin' out on the trunk of the Comet. It looks as if the top portion of my body was simply placed on the trunk of my car.....and I look totally content with that. I mean, if I were just a torso, I would be freakin' the fuck out, but like I said...I got mad can't see that I'm really freakin' out on th…

Lookie Here Now....

You best not be tryin' to take a short cut to the pool through my're likely to get your ass shot. Mhhmm....shot. I just hang out in my yard and wait......

....and when I tell you you better be gettin' some best be, 'cuz I'll get all crazy on your ass and chase a bitch down..........and if I cain't catch ya....well....My deddy says I'm a purdy derned good aim.....Thanks again to Jenn at BlondeShot Creative! ...I'll post a couple more fun one's tomorrow!

I Told You I'd Be Rich and Famous

I may have recently mentioned that I was in Halloween 2.....three times. THREE TIMES!!! Why else would I be in that movie THREE times unless Rob Zombie thought I had some stellar actin' skills? Right? I had decided because of my stellar actin' skills, I was gonna move to Hollywood because I knew the movie rolls were gonna start comin' in at any minute and I'd certainly need an agent. Well, the plans to move have been sidetracked because I have kids and Hollywood ain't no town for kids. I figure I'm so awesome in Halloween 2 that all the movie producers, directors and agents will come to me no matter where I am.

....and I was totally right. Last week I was contacted by Jenn at BlondeShot Creative. She said as soon as she saw me in the movie she KNEW she had to do a shoot with me so she started her search for me immediately and after an exhausting six weeks, she had found me. She said my talent eclipsed any she had seen before.....that there was so much feeling in…