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Showing posts from September, 2009

Jailhouse Choppers Free Beer Bike Night!

No, you didn't read it wrong. It says free beer bike night.....and free FOOD courtesy of Dog of Two Dogs Fuckin'. Yeah, weird name but whatever. This dood can cook like nobody's freakin' business. AND by free food, I ain't just talkin' wieners and pretzels either. I'm talkin' about some damn fine eatin' like grilled chicken.....and stew....and beans. Oh sweet jesus, my mouth's all waterin'. The night starts at 7:30 and runs 'til everybody leaves. They have prize raffles, a 50/50 raffle and you can also buy a $10 ticket (or 5 for $35) for the chance to win a 1973 Triumph Board Tracker which'll be raffled off sometime this month.
Jailhouse and Twisted Throttle Choppers alternate every other Wednesday which shop's gonna have bike night, so call the shop ahead of time to make sure which it is. They're number's 770-978-8977. The music's good, the food is excellent and the company's even better. So, call your friends, get…

I Really, Really Do

I love you more than a fat chick loves crinkle fries dipped in ranch dressin'.

I love you more than EMO boys love girl pants.

I love you more than all the illegals love comin' here and havin' anchor babies.

I love you more than flies love poo.

I love you more than a meth addict loves pickin' at their skin.

I love you more than that girl takin' my order at McDonald's loves suckin' her teeth.

I love you more than an epileptic loves a helmet.

I love you more than Little Vin loves lickin' on Bruiser's lipstick.

I love you more than a cheap hooker loves the morning after pill.

I love you more than a hipster loves their white fake Ray Ban's and beat up Chuck T's.

I love you more than white people love throwin' 80's themed parties.

I love you more than a virgin in denial loves talkin' about their STD.

I love you more than most people love actin' like they give a crap about homeless people.

I love you more than a hypochondriac loves goin' to …

Trash Can of Death

The boy takes the trash out to the road for pick up. It's his job. This morning though, he came back in the house and said the trash can was too heavy for him to move. I said somethin' about maybe he should eat more Wheaties and then I went outside to move it up to the road myself.

Turns out, after the 20.37 inches of rain we had last week, the trash can was full of about 800 gallons of water, plus the trash. I pushed and pulled and heaved and hoed and finally got the sumbitch to move.

No shit, that thing weighed more than I do and since our driveway is on a slight incline, I was havin' one helluva a time tryin' to get it up to the road. I remembered thinkin' "dammit, I JUST straightened my bangs. Now I'm gonna be all sweaty and shit and I'll have to do it again"....and just about then, the evil trash can came topplin' backwards on top of me.

My knee gave out and hit the driveway. My face got acquainted with the back side of the trash can and I c…

Rain, Rain, Go Away.....

Atlanta and most all the surrounding areas were completely under water yesterday. (This picture was taken Monday afternoon.....minus Kanye of course!)

Sunday, this was the main road just off the street we live on. We thought it was pretty bad. It got much worse.

We woke up Monday morning to a busted water heater and a little water in our basement. Even though the rain had continued through the night, the street had cleared up and school hadn't been cancelled as I'd expected it would've been.
I took the kids to school and by the time Jeremy (who had already taken the day off so he could have a nice relaxin' day off.....HA!) and I headed out to buy a new hot water heater the road had flooded again. It was STILL raining. When we got home, our basement had started takin' in water. We had two friends come over to help move everything outta the basement (just in the nick of time!) and Jeremy's dad came over to help install the hot water heater while Jeremy started vacuu…

The Back Burner

That's where I am right now. I've put my own life on the back burner.

You can never correct what you don't confront and there's no better time than when the fuck's now gonna get here? There's always somethin' from the outside creepin' its way to the inside and for some fucked up reason those outside things have become priorities.
I just barely scraped the surface and this is what I found.
All the most important things have been slipping. It's not fair and it's not right. It's always,"well, right after this happens and that's done, we'll get back on track". The this's and that's just keep on fuckin' comin' don't they?

The line's been driftin' for way too fuckin' long, it's time to reel that shit back in. It's time to stop makin' the outside more important than the inside before we forget all together. We are all we got.

The winds of change better be startin' to blow…

I Miss It

I miss the way things used to be.

I miss the yard bein' all pretty and stuff, but I just don't give a shit if there's weeds overwhelmin' my flower beds. I ain't got time for that shit.

I miss having a spotless house, but I just ain't got the time for that shit either.

I miss havin' the time for that shit.

I miss my feet in your lap.

I miss only goin' grocery shoppin' twice a month and you always bein' there to help unload the car.

I miss havin' nothin' to do on the weekends.

I miss calzone and Sopranos night.

I miss talkin' about stuff that has nothin' to do with motorcycles or how much work sucks.

I miss just gettin' in the car and goin'....nowhere in particular.

I miss sittin' on the front porch talkin'.

I miss sittin' down with the kids and doin' holiday makin' angels and turkeys with their hands.

I miss decoratin' the house for Halloween sooner than a week before Halloween.

I miss bein' a…

Drive Invasion 2009

On Sunday, we all got up at the ass crack o' dawn to get ready to head down to Drive Invasion. Even though I went to bed around midnight I probably had maybe 4 hours of sleep because I was so excited.

I dragged ass, made breakfast for everyone and checked to make sure we had everything loaded in the car that we needed. The plan was to leave at 8am sharp. I'm sure our neighbors loved us. Eight o'clock in the mornin' and we had a several bikes and my loud as car idlin' in the cul-de-sac waitin' on one person. Sorry neighbors.

We got to the Drive In just a little after 9 and the line was already out to the road. The whole point of me leavin' so early is so I can avoid that long line, because the process of actually gettin' in the gate is a long one (when you're in an old ass car that wants to overheat). After about 5 minutes in line I had to turn the heat on so Bess could cool down a bit...awesome. Thankfully the line moved a little faster than past year…

Everbody's Gotta Love Somethin'

Our boy turned 14 over the weekend and for his birthday, we took him to the Dragon-Con parade. The thought of being around thousands and thousands of......dragon-con type people was just shy of torture for me and Jeremy, but it's what the boy wanted and both he and the girl were SUPER excited about dressin' up. The boy dressed up as Naruto and the girl was....the girl.
While we were waiting for the parade to start, I went into Starbucks and got pretty damn excited when I saw that even Wookie's get a hankerin' for a Starbucks sometimes.

With my Starbucks in hand, I tried my best not to make eye contact with any of the.....dragon-con type people around me. I wanted to avoid any and all talk of droogs, or mogs or shakira or any other.... whatever. Turns out it don't matter if you look some people's way or not, they're way too excited about cartoons and galaxies a million years away to not talk to you about it.

I had some 4 foot tall fat red headed chick with …

I Get Delirious

This weekend was such a LONG freakin' weekend. We had the boy's birthday, Dragon-Con Parade (which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be) and the Drive Invasion. Despite not gettin' off the couch yesterday, I think I've fallen asleep twice while typin' this. Maybe the sleeping pill I took last night still hasn't worn off or maybe I'm just old.....nothin' a triple pumpkin spiced latte won't fix right? Wrong.
When I got in my car this mornin' to take the girl to school, there was a penis straw sittin' on my dash that Jeremy had found in my car from a bachelorette party I'd been to. What a nice surprise on this fine Tuesday morning. I thought I'd gotten rid of it last week after the girl found it in the backseat and asked what it was. Uhhhh, uhhhh......"It's a Halloween straw that's supposed to look like one of Frankenstein's gnarly fingers". She believed me. Yeah, it was TOTALLY one of frankenstein's finge…

I Love Food

I think I've made it pretty clear that I love food. Food is good. Yep.

Last night I made one of my favoritest things ever.....Asian Ramen Coleslaw. HEEEAAAVEN. Me and my b-fri are equally addicted and I took the opportunity to rub it in her face today that I had some for breakfast.....and dinner last night, and lunch today.

It's super easy to make and everyone who tries it will want it all to themselves. Down here in the south, the only things that go quicker at the family reunion are potato salad and green bean casserole...oh and those little wiener dogs soaked in bar-b-que sauce. Mmmm, I love me a good family reunion!

It's best to make this stuff and let it sit for several hours before you eat it, so keep that in mind. It tends to taste a little.....strong until all the vinegar settles its little vinegar self down.

So, here's what you'll need:

3 green onions, chopped
1 (6 oz.) bag coleslaw mix (I sometimes add half of another bag)
3 tablespoons…

So I've Been Thinkin'....

I've totally decided that I want another kid. WHA? say. Yeah, I do......then the sensible side of me kicks the shit outta the side of me that's havin' some weird puppy dog syndrome action a' happenin' and I snap out of it.
It's just that I have friends that are birthin' babies and it makes me really, really want another one. Our boy is about to be 14 and he hasn't wanted to have anything to do with us for a LONG time....and the girl, she's still attached to me at the hip...she MUST have smuggle time every night, but I sense it coming to an end soon and that's gonna make me cry.
I really think I'm losin' my mind. You think they got a medicine for this problem? I mean really, I know better. Kids cost a shit ton a money. They argue and make you wanna throw 'em in trash cans. They produce big fat terds that are always cloggin' the toilet. They lie about doin' homework. They complain about no...I really do…