'Cuz I Felt Like It!

My car was packed up to the ceiling and the trunk was stuffed, everybody had made it to the house on time and we were on our way to the third annual Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz show. My car however had another idea of what she would be doin ' with her Saturday and it didn't involve drivin ' a dirt track. On the way to get gas, I knew somethin ' wasn't right. When we stopped to fill 'er up, she was done.....she was dumpin ' gas outta the carburetor. It took me 30 minutes and the help of jumper cables to finally get her started and get her back home. No dirt track for me this year. I was heart broken. Devastated. She did so good her first year and the second year we girls packed in like sardine's goin ' down the track listenin ' to Peaches and Tone Loc . Memorieeeeees . We packed up the 4Runner and headed out again. Despite the rough start, we had a kick ass time as always....... The drive there is always so nice. Boys and their burnouts. They h...

I was thirsty. She said she had water. "I thought water normally came in plastic bottles", I said. "Yeah it does, but I'm reducing my carbon footprint on our precious mother earth". "This water don't smell right". "I think you mighta got it confused with kerosene. I better taste it to make sure......." "Most definitely kerosene". I drank a lot of "that" water Saturday. Some plain, some with lemons, some with cherries.....It all tasted exactly the same. My esophagus is raw, my stomach lining has been burnt away and I still got the shakes. Jesus musta known what that Alabama water'd do to me, because it's rainy and overcast today. I'm sure the sun would feel like sonic laser beams piercing my eyeballs. Thank you jesus.