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Showing posts from November, 2009

Just Gimme One Squirt

I'm sick. Again. I'm so over bein' sick. I've spent the past three days whining, snortin' snot down my throat and applying mass amounts of chapstick to keep my lips from crakin' from all the mouth breathin'. It's KILLIN' me. Oh how I despise not bein' able to breathe through my nose. Sudafed doesn't work. Tylenol Sinus doesn't work. Advil Sinus doesn't work. That stupid hair brained idea of a nettipot don't work either. I think everybody that uses one of those and say they actually work are liars. Stupid Oprah lovin' liars.

I'm a miserable baby when I can't breathe outta my nose. I pitch fits that can put a toddler in the throws of the terrible 2's to shame. I mope around punchin' the air outta frustration......I mean in my mind I'm totally punchin' my stopped up nose in the face, but it gets me nowhere....except in a first class seat on the train to lookin' like a total tool land.

I J…

You Suck, and That's Sad

I've tried to not take it know....this suckish attitude you've had lately.......but why shouldn't I? When it comes to everybody and everything......I'm the one on the back burner. I feel like I get all the left overs.....if there ever are any. I've tried to be ok, I've tried to hang in there, but I don't like sittin' in the back waitin' to be noticed. I'm an attention whore you know....and nobody puts Baby in the corner.....

I've really worked hard at being a happy, more positive person and you're just bringin' me down. Down, down, down.

You're distracted by too much negativity and quite frankly, my negativity pot cain't hold any more. It's time to get over it. Move along. You're life don't suck so stop fuckin' actin' like it does. I'm still here....on the back fuckin' burner, but I'm still here.

Maybe we can be friends again one day, but until you straighten yourself up, as the g…

Hate Da Toe

How the hell have I NOT heard of this song before?!?!?! It's goin' on the ipod RIGHT NOW!

Speakin' of camel toes....check THIS shit out....

May I introduce to you the's a frickin' camel toe SHIELD y'all!!! Who the hell needs a camel toe shield? If your cookie's all eatin' your pants up, pull that shit out.....or maybe your busted up ass needs to buy some bigger damn pants! I think I'ma get one to give as a gift at our Christmas Ain't Over Yet Bitches to all ya'll that're readin' this that'll be there (details later), forget I even said that......Camel's the new black.

10 Things I Hate A Lot

Rain. Dear rain god....enough already. The joke's up. We get the message, whatever the hell it may be. I understand we had a lot of catchin' up to do after years of the worst drought our state has seen and I know you're tired of Georgia and Florida fightin' over water rights.....Florida needs water for their clams, Georgia for their people and yes the fight got old, but SHIT.....ENOUGH ALREADY. My back, hands and sanity can't take it anymore. Basements are NOT meant to be lakes.
My eyelids. Every time I wear eyeliner, it transfers itself from just above my lash line to mid eyelid. Bastard eyelids bein' all droopy and shit. Scratch that....bastard eyeliner for suckin' ass and not stayin' where I put that shit.

Goin' to the bathroom and realizin' there's no toilet paper one nanosecond too late.

My husband's job. Dear husband's job, you are causin' way too much stress in Jeremy's life, therefore you are causin' way too much str…

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is!

Yes, 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th!

Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo......

Q & A

What does $20 get you?

A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time.....

....and this taco (mmmm tacos)'s what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon.

Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo?
No's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more.
Can I pick any tattoo I want?
No. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front door the…

Rev Run - Your Words

Imagine if all your words for the past 24 hrs had been recorded and turned into a transcript. How would it read? Would there be more life than death? Would it include words filled with life that build others up? How much of it would contain grumbling, complaining or even name-calling? (REMEMBER) what comes out of your mouth reveals who you really are. Focus on speaking words of life and blessing! If you change your words, you'll change your life. -(Joyce Meyers)
This first time I read this, I thought of havin' my mouth washed out with soap. You ever have your mouth washed out with soap for sayin' somethin' you weren't supposed to? I totally did. I can't eat ginger at a sushi place because of it.....that shit tastes EXACTLY like Palmolive. (shudder)

I've really tried to adopted a sort of philosophy of gettin' back in return what you put out into the world. Be nice and people will be nice to you. Take positive steps in life and more positive things will com…

If You're On Facebook.....

Go vote for my girl!
She's in an online Halloween costume contest and we're tryin' to win some dernd applesauce!

You can vote once every 24 hours through November 7th. It's easy. Just click the link above, click allow, then thumbs up. That's it! No signin' up, no junk mail, nothin'!!! Just votin'!


Time Flies Whether You're Havin' Fun or Not

Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like it took six months just to get from Halloween to Christmas? Now that I'm an adult, it seems like it takes half the time it should to get from one Christmas to the other.
Now, I just wanna get to the weekends. Every Monday it's the same thing....hurry up and get here weekend....and it usually does. Then when Sunday rolls around, I'm wishin' it was still Saturday. Time is escaping me. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Time's just goin' way to fast. Does that mean I'm on the downhill slide of life?
Now that Halloween's over, Christmas is gonna be here before I can lick the salt off my lips from the pumpkin seeds. For the past several years I just want one more week before Christmas pounces on me. Just one more pay check. There's just never enough time or money. That's the way I see Christmas now. I hate it. When you're a kid, you just see the presents under the tree, the magic of the lights an…