Wednesday, November 11, 2009

10 Things I Hate A Lot

Rain. Dear rain god....enough already. The joke's up. We get the message, whatever the hell it may be. I understand we had a lot of catchin' up to do after years of the worst drought our state has seen and I know you're tired of Georgia and Florida fightin' over water rights.....Florida needs water for their clams, Georgia for their people and yes the fight got old, but SHIT.....ENOUGH ALREADY. My back, hands and sanity can't take it anymore. Basements are NOT meant to be lakes.

My eyelids. Every time I wear eyeliner, it transfers itself from just above my lash line to mid eyelid. Bastard eyelids bein' all droopy and shit. Scratch that....bastard eyeliner for suckin' ass and not stayin' where I put that shit.

Goin' to the bathroom and realizin' there's no toilet paper one nanosecond too late.

My husband's job. Dear husband's job, you are causin' way too much stress in Jeremy's life, therefore you are causin' way too much stress in my life. Get your shit together, before this bitch goes postal. (P.S. Although I am VERY grateful he has a job!).

Hard boogies in my nose. It's that time of year. Nose is all dry and crap and you get one of those hangers that are hard as rocks and just can't be blown out so you gotta dig deep and yank that shit out....along with 5 nose hairs. Then you cry. Lame.

People that fuck up and blame it on others. Look, you fucked up....don't make yourself look like a total asshat by tryin' to lay blame elsewhere. That just makes you a loser. Loser.

When people _______ ______ _______and_____ my_______'s _____. When ______totally _______. Yep,________. This is a secret hate. You'll nevvvver knoooowwwww.

Adjusting to less money. You have so much. You depend on it and're used to it. Part of it goes away. Not fun and totally stupid.

When you have some crazy centipede all crawlin' around your house and you get it with toilet paper, flush it and then every time you go to the bathroom for like the next three days you wonder if it's gonna find it's way out and crawl on your butt.

Change. Hate it. Period.


Not So Average Mama said...

I hate flushing bugs too! I always think they are coming back for me!

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