Saturday, November 21, 2009

Just Gimme One Squirt

I'm sick. Again. I'm so over bein' sick. I've spent the past three days whining, snortin' snot down my throat and applying mass amounts of chapstick to keep my lips from crakin' from all the mouth breathin'. It's KILLIN' me. Oh how I despise not bein' able to breathe through my nose. Sudafed doesn't work. Tylenol Sinus doesn't work. Advil Sinus doesn't work. That stupid hair brained idea of a nettipot don't work either. I think everybody that uses one of those and say they actually work are liars. Stupid Oprah lovin' liars.

I'm a miserable baby when I can't breathe outta my nose. I pitch fits that can put a toddler in the throws of the terrible 2's to shame. I mope around punchin' the air outta frustration......I mean in my mind I'm totally punchin' my stopped up nose in the face, but it gets me nowhere....except in a first class seat on the train to lookin' like a total tool land.

I JUST WANT NOSE SPRAY.....I have that shit tucked in every drawer, pocket and nook and cranny in this house and my car....because when I need nose spray.....I NEED nose spray. So why not just reach out and grab some???......because Thanksgiving is only days away and I WILL be able to taste the turkey and dressin', giblet gravy, potatos and green bean casserole. You see, when I start nose pray it's like a two week binge. It starts out slowly......only once ever 12 hours just like the label says. Then it's on to once every 6 hours....then every 3......all the while, I can smell nothin' and I can taste nothin', but I can breathe dammit......

This is the first time in my adult life that I will suffer through a stopped up nose. The first time I will NOT give in to the temptation of nose spray. I won't. No.

But then I look back and this and reconsider. Maybe, just maybe I can use it over the weekend then stop....sha.....right.


Sally-Sal said...

Have I mentioned that I love your playlist? Badass.

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