Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Pain in Grief

Everyone grieves differently. Some people tend to keep it together as much as humanly possible so they can take care of everyone else, then they break down when they're finally alone.

Some people flip their shit and go over the deep end which tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable, because what do you say to a person that's flipped their shit?

Some people hole themselves up and just want to be alone, while others need to surround themselves with as many friends/family as possible.

Then there's the people that decided no one loved the person that passed more than they did and no one is entitled to hurt like they are. All those people do is inflict unnecessary pain on others in a time where people are already hurting so deeply.

Losing someone close to you hurts. Bad.....and crazy things come of it usually. Some good, some not so good.

It can cause the people closest involved to make rash decisions that are irresponsible and hurtful to everyone else involved. You are not the only one hurting. You are not the only one that loved the person that passed. You are not the only person that the one who passed loved, either. Just stop. Take a breath and realize what you are doing to all the people that you are taking things away from. All those things will not bring the person back or change the past. You are only causing more pain on top of pain. It's senseless.

On the flipside though, I've also seen the death of a loved one help reconnect people that were once close, but for one reason or another have drifted. I've seen some of the toughest lookin' dudes break down and tell the dude next to them they loved them. I've seen it really bring an insane amount of closeness to an already close group of friends.....and I'm grateful to be a part of that group of friends. I'm grateful to everyone that's called or emailed to see how we're doing. I'm grateful to be surrounded by friends I love and that love me. I'm so grateful.

We're all hurting. Some of us care just as much about everyone else that's hurting, too.


Not So Average Mama said...

love you guys!

Tori :) said...

My sister died 11 yrs ago and yeah... grief sucks.
And you're totally right- I think everyone in my family mourned differently. My mom cried in public and loved for people to stop and talk to her, while I was like "Please don't any more people ask me how I am. Leave me the hell alone..."
The good thing is that eventually it DOES get easier. There's always that tear in your heart, but the pain subsides. I hope your heart stops hurting sooner rather than later.

(Came here via Brandy...)

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