You ever have those days where you just can't practice what you preach? Like it's physically impossible....you try, but when you do your body just makes these retarded jerky spasms in protest?
I'm always saying life is what you make it. Why waste a day being all irritated and pissed when you can be all awesome and stuff? Well, today I say to hell with that.
I'm seeing a pattern here. Around this time every month I wanna take stuff outta people's hands and bash them over the head with it. When people ask me how I'm doing I wanna say "seriously, like you give a shit". I don't want to listen to other people's stupid little stories and smile and nod like I care, because today, I don't. Well, to be totally honest I don't usually care on good days, but at least I'm kind enough to fake it.
I hate being like this, but it just comes so naturally dammit. It's so easy. I spent so many years like this that it's like riding a bike. I just get right back on.
Just now, I was asked by a lady if I was a cat person. She was obviously holding a card in her hands that had a cat on it. First of all, no, I'm not a cat person. Secondly, even if I were, I didn't care to see what it was she was holding. I knew I wouldn't be able to give her the "oooh, aaaahhhh how cute!" response she was looking for. What I really wanted to say to her was "Do I fuckin' look like a cat person to you?", but I didn't. I said "Uh, no" and left it at that. She looked disappointed. Welcome to my world I thought as she turned and went on to the next person.
As irritated as I am today and as much as I think this day is gonna be filled with insane amounts of suckness, I must persevere. Yes, I must....I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......