Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from March, 2009

My 15 Minutes (Part Deux)

As I left off in my last post, we were all starving by the time makeup and hairs were done, but we were off to set. Thankfully Jenn (who saved me more than once in this whole experience) had a box of Uncrustables and gave me one to keep me going. That shit was like lobster and filetmignon all rolled up in one.

This is where I will proceed with caution as to not have Mr. Gene Shhhhhh...... (look, here he is in action!).....
.....come down on me. We were told many many times no pictures on set and to keep the storyline to ourselves. Really, it ain't like I signed anything in blood, but out of respect for my new BFF Robbie (yes, we're tight like that....no "Mr. Zombie" for me! Psshht...as if) I will tiptoe here.

We enter the big old ass awesome barn in darkness. The inside was insane awesome. It was all done up for one big ol' party to include a band and all. As I first went in, I was put towards the back in corner and I remember saying "nobody puts baby in the c…

My 15 Minutes (Part One)

Rumors were runnin' like crazy that there were gonna be way more people show up to be extras for Rob Zombie's H2 than were needed and that it would be sort of a "first come first serve" type thing.

We were told to show up at the Drive In at 7:30 a.m. Tuesday. I had my tookis there at 6:30. I had taken the days off work and I'd be damned if I'd hauled my ass outta bed that early and had my mom drive 45 minutes to my house at the ass crack 'o dawn to take the kids to school for nothin'. When I pulled up to the gate, I was quickly recognized as the "girl with the hair". God if I just got paid every time someone said something about my hair! I was check off a list and given my name tag.
When I got there it was still dark and there was only small handful of people. THAT was rumor number one.
Three tour buses full of extras left around 7:45 a.m. (with a fourth one to head back later) to head for Newborn, GA. It took about an hour to get to the locatio…

It Hurts

Tomorrow's the first day of the H2 filming so I needed to try on the dress I planned to wear to make sure it fit ok in all the right places. Whoever had it before me was a chunky chick with no boobs so she had taken it in and added those little chicken cutlet things. Well, this chunky chick has major boobs so I thought at the very least, I would need to take the extra padding out. Once I got it on though, that extra padding just pushed my boobs way up so I decided I'd leave it.
After about 15 minutes in the dress, I was sweating and ridiculously uncomfortable. It has so much boning in it that it keeps you painfully sitting up straight. I just sat on the couch miserable thinking there is NO WAY I can be in this thing for 10-11 hours, two days in a row. Then another thought occurred to me.....don't they usually have portapotties on movie sets? Uh yeah, I don't think that dress was made for people that pee.....like ever. Hell, I don't even know that I could fit in a p…

Disturbing

You know, I saw a man takin' a poo on the side of the road once. I was on my way to work. I was minutes from Buckhead (one of Atlanta's rich people neighborhoods). Dude just pulled his pants down, squatted and pooed. Then he stood up and pulled his pants up. For a brief moment I thought about turning around gettin' outta my car and telling him what a disgusting waste he was. I didn't. I wanted to go to Starbucks before work and didn't have time to do both. Plus, I didn't want to possibly die or get cooties. Either one....ewww.


I thought about that man again this morning. The image of his bare ass squatting there on the side of the road still haunts me. It was so disturbing.
That got me to thinking of other things that disturb me equally as bad.
The smell of my feet after I have worn shoes barefooted is pretty damn disturbing and at times vomit inducing. I hate wearing socks. I love just slipping on a pair of shoes and goin' about my business, but then at the e…

You Only Live Once....

.....So live it up I say!
Yesterday I got an email from my friend Lisa that said Rob Zombie was filming parts of his next movie H2 here in Atlanta and was looking for extras. All you needed to do was send an email with your phone number, height, size clothes you wear and a few pictures of yourself.
As awesome as I thought it would be to be an extra in the film, my initial reaction was "I'd never get chosen, plus I gotta work". The more I thought about it, the more I figured why not? They worst I could get is no response or a direct no and I could handle both. Doesn't hurt to try (that seems to be a common thought these days!). I have plenty of vacation days ahead of me and what an awesome experience this could be. I've only got one life to live and I'm gonna live it up!
So, I sent in all the info and got a response asking if I had a costume I could wear. Uh, well....let's see.....I have a Strawberry Shortcake costume from my slighty skinnier days (which I…

Hey Dood, Why You Wanna Be So Gross?

Men have mirrors. Right?


Then why does this happen.....
I've seen the most "business" of business men with eyebrows like that. Don't get me wrong. That shit is AWESOME on your old ass retired grandpa, but a man that's still out there workin' in a white collar world....not so much. Is there a secret society of high powered white collar men with crazy ass eyebrows and only the craziest of eyebrows are allowed to know the secret handshake?

Why not just trim them suckers? Why? I'm DYING to know.

Then, there's this.....



Dang doooood......don't you know boogies can hang on that? That ain't pretty. Girls are gonna see that and turn the other way. You got a mirror right? My J's even been guilty peepin' nose hairs. I used to get all close too him and gaze into his handsome face, I'd go in for the kill all like I was gonna smooch him and at the last minute, *BAM* I'd yank those little peepin' hairs. That's what he gets for havin' …

PMS to the Nth Degree

You know, I remember the days when PMS was only something whiny pain in the ass girls got. The one's that just needed an excuse to stay at home from school because they've got cramps. The one's that bitch and moan and treat everyone like shit to only turn around a few days later and say they were "PMS'n". I hated those girls. I just wanted to tell them to stop their freakin' moanin' and have fun.
Then I had kids and now I get PMS.
It's not just a three day inconvenience anymore. It's terrible. My bones ache and I'm more than my usual slightly irritated and move more towards the "don't even look at me" irritated. It's ridiculous.
When did this happen to me? When did I become one of "those" girls? It pretty much ruined my Saturday night. I just wanted to go home and I did at 8:30 leaving J to find himself a way home. It was so bad that I didn't care about any St. Patty's Celebration. The bar was overly smokey…

An Open Letter to Nose Spray

Dear Nose Spray,

I had been longing for you so much lately. It had been increasingly more difficult to breathe from my nose and I knew you were the only thing that can make it go away. Even when I am at my strongest and my nose only whistles when I breathe, I can at least breathe, but not so much these past couple weeks. I held strong nose spray, but your pull was too much for me to bare. I broke down and used you despite the fact that the thought of going back to you sent nervous ticks throughout me. I knew with just a couple squirts, I will be free to breathe again. I knew I would regret it in the end though, because I know it will never last and you will leave me always wanting more. You have this horrible taste that gags me everytime I snort you up my nose. As you hit the back of my throat, first comes the gagging and wretching, then the tears start streaming down my face as I grasp the kitchen sink hoping I don't throw up. Minutes later however, I am free. So what if I can'…

Getting Old....Revisted...Again

You ever go to a bar and see a 40 something year old lady all bein' loud and shakin' her boobs and stuff? You know you have and you know it's sad and totally disturbing. I mean, I'm totally that chick now, but I'm just in my baby year 30's.

Here's my question.....At what age are you really crossing the line? I always feel kinda bad for "those" ladies. I wanna sit them down and tell them, "People aren't watchin' you because they find your floppin' flapjacks arousing, they're watching you like they would watch a train wreck. They just can't look away from the tragedy". That would be mean though right? Who am I to judge how a lady gets her kicks? But really, 40 is NOT the new 30.....there comes a time in all of our lives when you just gotta hang your boobs up and give 'em a rest.

I started thinking about this today because our annual St. Patty's drunken day is this weekend and I'm not sure I'm totally up fo…

My Secret's Out. I'm Eight Months Pregnant.

I know, I know. I haven't told anybody, because, well......it's totally not true. However, should I have a high school reunion come up outta no where, that's totally what I'm telling everybody!


Tonight, I needed to figure out what I'm wearing to a wedding tomorrow. I have an awesome pencil skirt (which is short enough to show the kick ass scab on my knee from when I fell on the ice!), a burgundy sexy satiny pin-up style shirt that the girls TOTALLY look fantastic in, fishnet stockings and my favorite slut shoes. I NEVER dress up like this so I was pretty excited when I headed for the mirror. Looking straight on in the mirror....dead sexy bitches! DEAD SEXY! Then I turned to the side to check out my ass and I instead noticed my..... big... 'o ...belly. It was all "HEELLLOOO" (my belly has and Irish accent). My belly has obviously gotten jealous of the bootiliciousness of my behind when I wear my butt panties, so it figured it was time to pick up the pac…

Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy

I have totally neglected my blog, I know. I've been so busy elsewhere that sometimes I feel like my head may fall off at any minute from all the spinning and now I'm sick on top of it all. Once I get home, go over school stuff with kids, hang with kids, yell at kids, talk about the day's developments with J and cook and clean, I get busy organizing BWB stuff and doing my part in planning one hell of a party we plan on having May 16th at the Last Great Watering Hole in Tucker. Thank the Lord for J. He's been unbelievably patient and helpful. Once the kids go to bed it's usually veg on the couch together time, but not so much lately. As busy as I've been with this, I'm not the only one working on it at this point and would have probably fallen over dead already if I were. Stacy has been up to her ears in it too and without her, it wouldn't be half of what it's gonna be! All the bitches are gonna really come together for this and it's gonna be…