Monday, March 16, 2009

PMS to the Nth Degree

You know, I remember the days when PMS was only something whiny pain in the ass girls got. The one's that just needed an excuse to stay at home from school because they've got cramps. The one's that bitch and moan and treat everyone like shit to only turn around a few days later and say they were "PMS'n". I hated those girls. I just wanted to tell them to stop their freakin' moanin' and have fun.

Then I had kids and now I get PMS.
It's not just a three day inconvenience anymore. It's terrible. My bones ache and I'm more than my usual slightly irritated and move more towards the "don't even look at me" irritated. It's ridiculous.
When did this happen to me? When did I become one of "those" girls? It pretty much ruined my Saturday night. I just wanted to go home and I did at 8:30 leaving J to find himself a way home. It was so bad that I didn't care about any St. Patty's Celebration. The bar was overly smokey and every time another person lit another cigarette I wanted to smash their face into the bar. Really rational right? Whatever. PMS does not equal rational.....or anything near it for that matter.
The PMS continued on to Sunday. Just a general "I don't give a shit" irritated attitude. I didn't want to be spoke to or looked at. So of course J and I argued all day. Why don't men get it? Women BLEED for days on end. Let us have our time. Don't feed into it and make it worse. Just smile and say "sure, whatever sweet tits". Don't be a dick. That'll get you no where. I have an excuse to be a bitch. I'm bleeding like a stuck hog. You have no excuse so shut up.
Oh god, what is happening to me? I AM one of "those" girls!

What's even worse though is that here I am going on Day 3 of PMS. Yes, day 3.....this morning I got in a fight with a pack of Hello Kitty gum. I decided to wipe off the top of the microwave and in the process knocked the gum to the floor. I bent down, picked it up and went back to cleaning. I knocked the gum off again, picked it up again, knocked it down a THIRD time at which time I am now totally yelling and cussing at these little Japanese sized packs of gum. Yes, yelling at gum. I'm THAT awesome.

So, I leave the house. I'm doing fine. I've gotten over my episode with the stupid gum. Both the kids are now at school and I'm heading to work. Then, I get stuck behind some asshat driving jeep with a wheel cover that has a dew rag wearin', 5 o'clock shadow havin' smiley face on it. Since when do smiley faces have freakin' beards? That smiley face was taunting me. I'm not kidding. It hated me and I hated it back and I couldn't get around it!!!!! I wanted to run this dude off the road because that stupid smiley face.
Now I'm done. The story just ends, because that's the way I'm gonna roll today.


Jylie said...

Great choice of labels, haaaaaaa.

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