Skip to main content

An Open Letter to Nose Spray

Dear Nose Spray,

I had been longing for you so much lately. It had been increasingly more difficult to breathe from my nose and I knew you were the only thing that can make it go away. Even when I am at my strongest and my nose only whistles when I breathe, I can at least breathe, but not so much these past couple weeks.
I held strong nose spray, but your pull was too much for me to bare. I broke down and used you despite the fact that the thought of going back to you sent nervous ticks throughout me. I knew with just a couple squirts, I will be free to breathe again. I knew I would regret it in the end though, because I know it will never last and you will leave me always wanting more.
You have this horrible taste that gags me everytime I snort you up my nose. As you hit the back of my throat, first comes the gagging and wretching, then the tears start streaming down my face as I grasp the kitchen sink hoping I don't throw up. Minutes later however, I am free. So what if I can't smell anything or taste anything, I can breathe again!
The worst thing about you nose spray is when I realize for the 1,oooth time that you're simply no good for me and I need to quit you. You dig your nose spray like talons in and make it damn near impossible. Even though whatever nose stopping up virus I had has been gone for DAYS, I can only go a few hours without you before I realize I simply can't make it. I need you like a camel needs his humps. I can't live without you! What are you doing to me?
In the end I suffer it out. It's not like I'm getting much sleep these days anyhow. I'm stronger than you in the end! I can do it! I can quit you! You wait and see!
Just give me a couple more days.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...