An Open Letter to Nose Spray

Dear Nose Spray,

I had been longing for you so much lately. It had been increasingly more difficult to breathe from my nose and I knew you were the only thing that can make it go away. Even when I am at my strongest and my nose only whistles when I breathe, I can at least breathe, but not so much these past couple weeks.

I held strong nose spray, but your pull was too much for me to bare. I broke down and used you despite the fact that the thought of going back to you sent nervous ticks throughout me. I knew with just a couple squirts, I will be free to breathe again. I knew I would regret it in the end though, because I know it will never last and you will leave me always wanting more.

You have this horrible taste that gags me everytime I snort you up my nose. As you hit the back of my throat, first comes the gagging and wretching, then the tears start streaming down my face as I grasp the kitchen sink hoping I don't throw up. Minutes later however, I am free. So what if I can't smell anything or taste anything, I can breathe again!

The worst thing about you nose spray is when I realize for the 1,oooth time that you're simply no good for me and I need to quit you. You dig your nose spray like talons in and make it damn near impossible. Even though whatever nose stopping up virus I had has been gone for DAYS, I can only go a few hours without you before I realize I simply can't make it. I need you like a camel needs his humps. I can't live without you! What are you doing to me?

In the end I suffer it out. It's not like I'm getting much sleep these days anyhow. I'm stronger than you in the end! I can do it! I can quit you! You wait and see!

Just give me a couple more days.