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Showing posts from October, 2008

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

It's Halloween! I LOVE Halloween! I just wish we were allowed to dress up at work. There are people across the hall all decked out in awesomeness, then there's me. Dressed in all black. Wah, wah......

I can remember when I was in school, we got to dress up. Now, they'll send your ass home if you come in dressed up. Assholes. Everybody's gotta be all politically correct and shit. This world has gone all kindsa retarded and it's all the stupid crappy parent's fault. They either won't allow their kids to celebrate Halloween because they say it's evil or they don't care what their kids dress up as no matter how inappropriate for a child it may be.

Number 1: Halloween ain't all evil anymore....it's about dressin' up and gettin' ass tons of candy and Number 2: Hey, Sandy the soccer mom, why don't you stop screwin' your best friend's husband when your's is outta town and pay a little bit more attention to the fact the little S…

Obtaining Happiness.....In the Words of Rev Run

Do you desire to be happy?

The proof of desire is pursuit. You must go to happy places...Pursue happy people...Create happy days...If you really desire happiness in your life, you must be willing to reach for it! Never blame anyone or anything for your unhappiness. Life rewards reachers. I have always said, "Happiness is never placed within your life, happiness is simply placed within your reach!" Now go out there and have a happy day!
......AMEN REV RUN! I've always said, "You ain't got any right to bitch about somethin' unless you're willin' to change it". Sometimes happiness seems like it just outta reach, BUT it's within your reach, you just gotta want it bad enough.
If you're not happy with something in your life, fix it. We could all die tomorrow, and who wants to die thinkin "I shoulda...." when it's always right there within your reach. Life is so much better when your happy and it's up to you whether or not you a…

Hotlanta, Oh Hell Yeah

****Breaking News! There was a robbery in East Atlanta. Someone's T.V. and X Box were stolen....oh, and they're pitbull.*****

I was watching the news the other night and there was this cool downtown tattooed type couple living in Atlanta talking about how their house had been broken into and their pitbull was taken.

Since I have friends that live in Atlanta, I had seen a lot of bulletins posted on myspace, saying "Robber Steals T.V. and Dog"! People were shocked this had happened. Really? You're REALLY shocked that this has happened? It's ATLANTA. Not the millionaire gated section of Atlanta, but the "I live one block over from government housing" Atlanta. Sure your house is all old and teeny and cute and stuff, but you're LIVING IN ATLANTA. Chances are if you haven't already had your house broken into, it eventually will be and you'll be lucky if all they do is steal some of your shit.

A couple of months ago, two of my close friends had th…

10 Things I Hate A Lot

I thought this list would be way easier than the love a lot list. I hate a lot of stuff, but I had a much more difficult time choosing what to add to the hate a lot list. My love list, I coulda gone on and on and on.

I DO see the glass half full!!! I do! I really, really, do!

Now, 10 Things I Hate A Lot:

1. Admitting that I'm Wrong (which I never am)

2. Having a stopped up nose

3. Humidity and what it does to my hair (no, this isn't me, but it might as well be my hair) 4. "For english, press 1"

5. Hearing the sucky noises someone next to me makes while sucking on a cough drop (I just threw up in my mouth a litte)

6. Paying over $5 for a Starbucks only to get on the road and realize the new dummy made it wrong and it tastes like watered down poo

7. Hangers. You know, the one's that you can't pick outta your nose because they're stuck and when you finally do get them out your eyes are watering so bad it looks like you're crying
8. Seeing a mexican woman pulling …

10 Things I Love A Lot

1. The way my kid's hands look and feel

2. That J lets me pull on his chin hairs with my toes and doesn't get mad

3. Breathing in cold air and feeling it fill my lungs

4. The smell of lumber yards. I lived at this one.......5. Dancing 6. Lauging so much and so hard I almost pee

7. Christmas traditions

8. That my daughter is just like me, but looks just like her dad
9. When my son finds something really funny that no one else gets

10. Driving really fast
11. Starbucks

12. Hello Kitty.....

Ok, so I went over 10, but I love a lotta shit!

10 Things I Hate A Lot coming up next!

I'm Obsessed with Hello Kitty

I wouldn't say that I am overly obsessed though. I don't freak out when I see something with my dear HK on it and the bow is on the wrong ear. I don't know what HK's mom's and dad's names are and don't care. I just love Hello Kitty. I mean, seriously, how cute is this face?

Now, with Hello Kitty gracing every Target Store out there, it doesn't matter that all those Sanrio stores that pop up at the malls from time to time never last more than 6 months, but the best is when you go to some unassuming store and bickety BAM there she is. She's on something that you weren't even looking for her to be on and I of course HAVE to have it.
Last weekend I was at a Japanese store looking for Naruto stuff for my son (since he's doin' so AWESOME in school) and I saw this and of course bought it. What in the sam hell is a Lychee? Well judging by the taste of this "non-carbonated soft drink", it's some sweet and slightly ink tasting fruit. …

I'm Cold

Over the years, I've been called many things. Spaz, freak, bitch, big mouth, slutface (which I LOVED), biggot, idiot, sensitive (HA! That one was funny!).....I could probably go on and on if I thought about it long and hard enough.

Recently though, I've been told that I was cold......by more than one of my friends. To this, I just waived the notion away with my hand. Cold? No. Maybe 10 years ago, but now? I don't think so or should I say DIDN'T until today.

These days, I'm much happier than I have been in years. My husband and kids are awesome and I love hangin' out with them, I have a stronger relationship with my husband than we have ever had before and I have a lot of great friends. How can I possibly be COLD when my life is pretty flippin' sweet!?!

Well, I figured it out today. On the way to work I was listening to a book on cd called "We Need to Talk About Kevin". It's a mother's/wife's letters written to her estranged hus…

Slut Shoes

As long as I can remember, I've had a thing for what I now call "slut shoes". I have a picture of me when I was about 5 or 6 proudly displaying a pair of fantasic heels that my mother no doubt had to hunt all over for in a size small enough to fit me. I was probably the only kid that age to have them, but I did and I LOVED them.

They're always peep toed and always too high of a heel that makes your legs look oh so awesome.

I rarely ever actually BUY myself slut shoes. Several things always make me stop just short of saying "Can I get these in a size 7 please".

#1 The price. All the slut shoes I gravitate towards have a price on them that suggest in order to actually purchase them, you gotta be a high dolla hooker, which I, unfortunatly am not.

#2 I have a TOTAL lack of coordination and tend to trip/fall when I'm wearing the flatest of flat shoes. Hell, I can be barefoot and end up busting ass.

#3 Ever seen a weeble wobble? You know, they weeble and they wobb…

RIP Earl Small

I found out today that Earl Small, owner of Earl Small's Harley Davidson died this past weekend in a helicopter accident in New York. Everything I've read said he was on his way to purchase another helicopter and when his family hadn't heard from him, they called the authorities who found him and the helicopter Sunday. My dad spent many many years working for Earl so I saw him often when I was a kid.
I can't think of Harley's without thinking of Earl. His first shop was off South Cobb Drive in Smyrna. I have awesome memories of that place. I loved it. I spent so many Saturday's roaming around that shop watching my dad work on bikes and sell bikes. I mean really, how cool was I that I got to hang around with all these rough and tough bikers? I loved their long hair. I loved that they all wore black and they cussed like sailors. I loved that they liked me and I was allowed to hang out with them. Earl was another story. He always looked like a business man to me. He…

A Bad Case of Noassatall

You ever see those people that have no ass at all? I mean none. Nothing. It goes from back to ass without even the slightest difference. You know, those people that just got a back with a crack in it. Yeah, well I have.....everytime I turn around and look in a mirror. I have no ass. Even after gaining back the damn near 30 lbs I lost last year......still......no ass.

I'm gonna hunt me down a pair of them padded panties and buy me some. You ever see those panties that have padding in them? They're pretty flippin' sweet. An old friend of mine bought same and they did wonders for her back with a crack so I thought I'd go try some on and see if they'd work for me. My first expereince with them was no bueno.......
I happened to be at the mall with my daughter so her and I went into Fredericks. I got all kindsa awesome questions from my then 6 year old. They had this diamond thong and bra displayed in a glass case. She asked why they would make a bra and panties outta di…

For Everyone Loves a Parade!

We went to the Little 5 Points Halloween parade this weekend and amazingly enough, we did it without anyone pitching a fit! More specificilly, without my husband pitching a fit. Crowds tend to make the veins pop outta his forehead and weird foamy stuff oozes from his mouth. No, I'm kidding, but wouldn't that be awesome? We actually got the kids ready and out the door at a reasonable time and not an hour later than intended like usual. Our son was Naruto for the second year in a row so all I had to do was pray his hair.Our daughter was a vintriliquist's dummy, an idea she got from an episode of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. All I needed to do for her was curl her hair and paint up her face a little. This year was a piece of cake! There was no crying, screaming or hair pulling. Since we actually made it out the door on time, we were downtown several hours before the parade or costume contest started so we didn't have the insane traffic to deal with. Every year, th…

Dirt, Jello Shots and Pure Deliciousness!

This past weekend was the Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz show that I have been not so patiently waiting for. If I haven't mentioned it before (which I'm sure I have), I had the TIME OF MY LIFE at this show last year and was waiting on pins and needles for it to get here this year!

The Big Wheel Bitches had our very first bake sale and we made out like bandits! We had all kinds sweet goodness! Just look at these apples!

along with all of my jello shots (which I think we consumed just as much as we sold!).We packed my car slap ass full of girls, cranked up a little old school rap,
and hauled ass down the dirt track until I thought my poor Bess was gonna fall apart. What makes it even better though, this year a friend of mine drove her awesome pink and black Comet so her and I got to go head to head on the track.

I left her in my dust time and time again! You could here her crying about losing from miles around! Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? She spanked me....over and over, but holy hell…

Hi. My Name is Jessica, and I'm an Addict.

I have an addiction. I need it, I have to have it. I wanna share it with everyone.....even my kids. Shit! Does that make me a bad Mom?
The first time I knew I had a problem was when I found myself telling everyone I knew, "In life, God gives to the givers and takes from the takers". I was on a big "karma's a bitch" kick and this was WAY awesomer said! Yes, I am addicted to Rev Run's Words of Wisdom. They are my little life's lessons....inspirational quotes....whatever. My Mom has one of those little quote things on her desk from which each day she draws "inspiration". It always says something like "They are my inspiration, these, the stanch, the skyward - lifting trees" (this is really today's! I asked her!).....anyhow, what in the sam hell does that mean? How does that relate to ANYTHING in my life? How does it relate to anything in ANYBODY'S life???
So today I signed up to receive Rev Run's Words of Wisdom daily so I can …

I've Been Tagged.....Again

So I got a message from Stitchblade telling me she had tagged me again. This time the instructions were :
* Go to your Sixth Picture Folder then pick your Sixth Picture.
* Pray that you remember the details.
* Tag 5 others.
So, without further avail, here it is...
Pretty flippin' sweet huh? At one point I was gonna paint this on one of the walls in my living room, but never got around to it. Maybe one day!As far as the taggin' thing goes, that didn't work so well last time so I ain't taggin' nobody!

10 Steps to Making a Butt Ton of Jello Shots

1. Have your awesome workin' in a restaurant friend come over with a butt ton of little plastic cups with lids.
2. Find some really big ass bowls.
3. Get said awesome friend to do some crazy math and figure out the jello to water to liquor ratio.

4. Boil two pots of water....one for Margarita jello, one for Watermelon jello.

5. While water boils, set out a butt ton of little plastic cups all over the table.
6. Open a butt ton of jello packets (imagine jello flying everywhere....yeah, I'm awesome like that) and dump it all into boiling water.
7. Mix, mix, mix.
8. Dump jello mixture in bowls with butt tons of liquor (yes, the steamy stuff will get you drunk!).
9. Start pouring butt tons of jello in butt tons of little plastic cups (makes a big fat mess).
10. Me and said awesome friend figer out a way to put butt tons of jello shots in the fridge.

Anybody Got an Extra Arm or two I Could Borrow?

This whole 9 to 5 job thing doesn't work for me. Well, 9:30ish to 4 in my case, but I digress.

I seriously have so much to do in life outside of work that it's making me go all batty and crosseyed and shit.

First, this weekend is the Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz Car Show .

Not only is the the FUNNEST (yes, I said funnest) car show EVER, but I also get to run my car on a dirt track! Here I am last year in the Comet (white car).
There ain't nothin' like haulin' it down a dirt track with a little "Gucci Crew II" blarin'. Yeah, that's right....GUCCI CREW II! I freakin' love the Cabbage Patch!

HOWEVER, this year I also have some responsibilities which means I gotta take it a little slower on the gin and tonics (pstht....right). Myself and some of my fellow Big Wheel Bitches have decided to do a bake sale! Who doesn't love a bake sale???? I've gotta make a kazillion jello shots (mmmm.....jello shots!), some S'mores and fudge. No actual baking in…

My Dad.....He Rode a Motorcycle and He Would LOVE this Weather!

My dad died in September, 1998. It was a motorcycle accident. It was his fault. Dumb, dumb Dad. Why couldn't you have paid more attention? I can say though that he died doing what he absolutely loved. If it has to be our time to go, may we all be as lucky.

I didn't have the closest relationship with my Dad, but boy did I worship him when I was a youngin'! I only got to see him every other weekend and I could never wait, but as I got older things changed. A lot. The first time my "Daddy's Little Girl World" came crashing down around me, I was 11 or 12. He gave me a dirtbike for Christmas. Since I didn't see him but twice a month, I didn't get to ride it often, but I could never wait to do it! I was ridin' a bike just like my Deddy! Well, after about two months, we were at my Stepmom's sisters house and one of the kids there was riding a dirtbike just like mine. As it turns out, it was mine! My Dad had sold it to them. I was devastated. I ran in…