Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Slut Shoes

As long as I can remember, I've had a thing for what I now call "slut shoes". I have a picture of me when I was about 5 or 6 proudly displaying a pair of fantasic heels that my mother no doubt had to hunt all over for in a size small enough to fit me. I was probably the only kid that age to have them, but I did and I LOVED them.

They're always peep toed and always too high of a heel that makes your legs look oh so awesome.

I rarely ever actually BUY myself slut shoes. Several things always make me stop just short of saying "Can I get these in a size 7 please".

#1 The price. All the slut shoes I gravitate towards have a price on them that suggest in order to actually purchase them, you gotta be a high dolla hooker, which I, unfortunatly am not.

#2 I have a TOTAL lack of coordination and tend to trip/fall when I'm wearing the flatest of flat shoes. Hell, I can be barefoot and end up busting ass.

#3 Ever seen a weeble wobble? You know, they weeble and they wobble, but the don't fall down. Yeah well, that's me. You see, I'm a pretty top heavy girl. Well, I'm a heavy girl all over really, and my feet, they weren't meant to support my cute chubby little figure. They are oh so teeny compared to the rest of me which often makes me look as though at any minute I just might tip over.

HOWEVER, despite those things, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I cannot supress my inner slut. I had seen these shoes on a friend of mine and I couldn't stop staring at them. I knew I had a problem when I found myself belly down on the beer soaked floor of the bar rubbing my face on them.....purring. Not really, but that'd be awesome. Anyways.....

I HAD to have these shoes. Even if only to clean house in.

The weeks passed and I forgot all about said slut shoes. That is until I had to go buy shoes for work. As I was scouring aisle after aisle of shoes looking for some black kinda cute, but mostly flat and boring shoes, I spotted them. They were one row over....beckoning me. Tauting me. Saying, "buy me, you love me and your husband will love me even more"......

I shouted "Can I get these in a size 7 please???"

5 comments:

Mary Bogue said...

Girl....
Save me. Those black leather, studded heels are enough to make me swoon. Save me...tell me they hurt, they were too much money, the heels way to high for a woman of my age and weight, save me. Lie to me or tell me the truth...just save me.

Mary

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

They hurt!.....Bad!

Mary Bogue said...

Lying beyotch. Give me those f*ckin' shoes....

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

HA! I'm totally lyin'!

Anonymous said...

and for your lies you can go to www.slutshoesorflats.blogspot.com and see where i'm comin' from.....

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