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Showing posts from November, 2008

For The Love of God!

This is gonna be a little touchy for some people, but it's something that gets under my skin and ya know opinions are like assholes, we all got one....so I'm gonna share mine.....my opinion, not my asshole...thanks.

Several years ago, I knew a lady who had written a book about her struggles in life and how her faith in God helped her through them. Normally, you wouldn't catch me dead with this sorta book (afraid I'd might burn in hell with the things I'd be thinking as reading it), but the book was given to me as a gift from the author so I figured I'd at least be nice enough to read it.


In one of the chapters she talked about how broke she was. She had less than $2 to her name. She needed to buy formula for her baby (I thought "you know that's what God gave you them udders for" but whatevs) and on top of that she would have to tythe 10% that morning in church. She said she had actually struggled with what to do, tythe or buy her baby food. She tyth…

Does ANYBODY Even Read This???

First, let me say my regular post is just below and here is a preview......
HOWEVER, you must first read this before you get to THAT!


I started this blog to showcase my crafty stuff, but that's such a teeny part of my life that it didn't last long. I love to write. A lot. I used to do it all the time and had kinda forgotten about it until I realized I could use my blog to do it. I got a lot of retarded stuff in my brain and I really just need to get some of it out so I can fill it with more crap and it's a bonus that I can get it out there for people to read.

Anyhow, I can know that people look at my blog and a few little details about each of you because of the tracker thingy, but I wanna know who you are! SO, leave me a comment and tell me! Tell me anything. Randomness can so make a person's day.

Just to give you a little further incentive, I will randomly pick a few people and send you something totally ridiculous (if you'll give up your address that is) as a thanks…

I Found Heaven Today

I found heaven......and here it is.......
I came across it on a blog I love called Loopy Rocket whose lovely ladies post about the most obscure awesome amazing things EVER! For instance where else would you come across something as totally awesome as WWBD.....fantastic temporary tattoos that include a freakin' PINK unicorn....or perhaps the Zombie Last Supper? This blog is often the highlight of my day and I love them for it. Thank you Loopy Rocket, thank you.
Now, back to heaven.
Every Thanksgiving it's the same ol' thing. Turkey. It's always been cooked in the oven, it's always dry and it always puts you to sleep. Then came fried turkeys. It really is true that EVERYTHING is better fried. If you can get past the possibility of burning your face off by sinking the bird in a vat of peanut oil then this is the way to go on turkey day. Just my opinion.... People didn't stop there though. A few years back came the insane idea of stuffing a turkey with a duck that had…

Totally Bustin' My Hump

As if my chubby gnawed fingernail little boy hands don't look bad enough, you wouldn't believe how my poor hands look now. I've spent the last week sewing until my fingers might fall off, BUT it paid off. I managed to take 20 somethin' bears to the Spruill Gallery for their Holiday Artist Market. YAY bears! The gallery is in this awesome old house off Ashford Dunwoody Road in Atlanta. It has hardwood floors that look like they've seen many years of visitors and you just get a real sense of coziness when you're there. My girl swears the place is haunted though. She stood on the steps outside and tried to convince me......she was "totally creeped out...I just got this really odd feeling in there Mom". YES! She totally just gave me some ammunition! Now, whenever she gets all sass mouth with me, I'm gonna tell her if is she doesn't watch it, I'm gonna drop her off at the gallery and make her spend the night! Mwahahahahaha!!!! That'll tea…

Stupid Irrational Fears

We all have them. Those things that totally give us the heebiejeebies. Have you ever considered that someone may be afraid of something just because it makes them like other people? Like my daughter for instance. All of a sudden she's deathly afraid of clowns. REALLY? Clowns? Can't she be more original than that? When I asked her why she was afraid of them she just said she didn't know, they just creeped her out. Ok, sure kid, whatevs! I'm mean honestly...who'd be afraid of this?


After hearing of her sudden fear, it made me think......I think some people actually fake being scared of things just so they can connect with someone or get some weird sorta sympathy. You know, like the fat girl in high school who always had her wrist wrapped in a dirty ace bandage for months at a time. You KNOW there ain't shit wrong with her wrist. SHE knows there ain't shit wrong with her wrist, but maybe, just maybe, it'll be the start of a conversation she may have not oth…

My Filter

I was recently asked whether or not I ever filter what I say. Oh, hell yes I do! My big mouth MUST be under restraints at all times.

I've been told more than once (ok more than 1,000 times) in my life that I have diarrhea of the mouth so if I didn't filter what I said, people wouldn't speak to me, like ever. I would be hated strictly because of my opinions, which are usually horrible and I choose to keep 90% of them to myself. I can always point and laugh at someone and tell someone how completely stupid I think they are right in my little own head and there is absolutely no harm done. It's a win win situation!

I've learned that there really aren't that many people out there who wanna hear things straight up. Most people prefer pillow squishy versions of things. Say, you have this friend and you tell her that her boyfriend smells like ass juice and the only reason they don't notice is because they too smell like ass juice then you can pretty much count on tha…

A Little Bit of Drinkin' Every Now and Again

All the cool people do it (even my little felties Frankie and Mr. Gingy! This picture found it's way to me by way of their new forever mom Judy who says these two prefer Sailor Jerry)..... Of course, some of us drink more than others. Some can hold their alcohol, some can't. Some drink beers, some drink liquors and some mix the two and puke out their noses (damn that almost rhymed).
Over the past couple years, I have come to love gin and tonic. When you see me out, most likely I'll have some honkin' ass QT cup slap full of that sweet, sweet deliciousness (unless I'm in a bar). I couldn't count the amount of times I've been asked "what the hell is in that"? My response? "Heaven". Yep, pretty much. That little, err.....big cup has been my best friend on many many occassions. It loves me and NEVER lets me down. Ever. Not to mention it can be one helluva weapon should I ever feel the need to wack someone over the head. As much as I love my GT&…

My Butt's So Big, It's Been Bedazzled

I have admittedly gained back all the weight I lost from taking fat crack a couple years ago. It was nice bein' thinner and all, but damn, I love to eat and without fat crack, I do eat.......a lot. It's like my favorite past time. There's this restaurant down the street from us that has the BEST crabcake sandwich EVER (I love me some crabcakes! If I were ever to get my knuckles tattooed they'd say Crab Cake) and some very delicious calamari and I will put all of it right into my belly. I mean I might be about to barf half way through eating it all, but I know it won't be even half as good if I take it home and microwave it later. Plus, there's starving kids in Ethiopia so I can't let them just throw it away!

Bein' chubby definitely has it's upside. Like I've said before, I can do one helluva truffle shuffle. If I fall (which I tend to do every now and again), I have plenty of cushion to keep my bones safer. I'm very cuddly and soft like…

More Fun Than 18 Barrels of Monkies!

Saturday was my birthday and as hard as he tried, J couldn't keep the party a suprise. I knew when I left for the salon to get my hairs did that when I got home there would be people there and I could only hope my hair didn't look like ass when I got home.

When I left the salon and headed back home, you could barely tell my hair had even been cut, it was kinda the wrong color red, there wasn't enough blonde and it was WAY frizzy. You should never leave a salon with rat ass lookin' hair, but I did....not that anyone ever sees me with anything but ratted out hair because of the crap humidity in Georgia, but still, I had hopes. It was nothing a litte gin wouldn't fix so I grabbed my drankin' cup and started. My b-fri from Texas couldn't make it so I drew a picture of her and carried her around with me most of the night. We ate cake together.... danced together and drank way too much together. She was even there with me when we all had a Journey sing-a-long. I mis…

Rev Runs Inspirational Words Yo

"If you can get over your past you can secure your future! Here’s some keys to renewal………#1)You MUST be willing to move beyond old wounds. #2)You MUST let go of jealousy and anger. #3) Don’t look back!!!!… Go forward!!!" - Rev. Run
If you're just plain ol' stuck and can't let go of the past, read this...over and over and let it really sink in. Rev Run knows what he's talkin' about yo! There's a time to move on and get over it. Quit letting things from so long ago dictate how you live your life. You ain't gotta forget it, just come to peace with it and let it go.
You can't live a shitty life and pretend it's not shitty all the while you hate everything and everybody. All those things from your past become excuses for laziness. It takes work to let go of bullshit ya know?
I have this uncanny ability to just flip a switch. On, off, on, off. I could be done with something or somebody in an instant. It was just a matter of flippin' that swit…

Holy Crap! When Did I Get Old?

With my birthday right around the corner, it has me thinking about gettin' all old and stuff. I've never been one of those girls that freaks out about turnin' twenty something or even thirty. Actually, I couldn't wait to get older. With every passing year I've gotten to watch my kids grow into intelligent smart assed little people and my relationship with J has gotten stronger and awesomer year after year. Gettin' older has never been any sweat off my back.

HOWEVER, every year around my birthday I tend to get a little down. Up until recently, my birthdays have never been more than a mere blip on a radar that no one really ever paid much attention to. So after years of my birthday going hardly even noticed, I started to dread the day. Not because I was a year older, but because no one (except maybe my mom) gave a rat's ass to celebrate my life. Um, yeah, I totally think my life is worth celebrating, just like everyone else's should! So, I guess I did have…

I Could TOTALLY See Russia From My House!

Some of my really funny friends (as they so deem themselves) who knew I had lived in Alaska have asked me if I could see Russia from my house when I was there.
Sha. I TOTALLY could! See? It's right........there......Not only did I live in Alaska, I lived at a sawmill in Wasilla where this Pallin lady lives. How the hell did I end up in Wasilla, Alaska? Honestly, I had asked myself that same question over and over. As soon as I tell you though you'll totally get it. At least all you girls will.
I followed a boy there. I was 17. I was smitten and he wanted to go on to bigger and better things and wherever he went, I was gonna follow. I dropped outta high school, packed up my junk, said good bye to all my friends and was headed to experience those bigger and better things. I was starting a new life.
I lasted three months. No matter how smitten I thought I was, I had to get the hell outta dodge. Not only was it freezing ass cold (which I eventually got used to), but we also had no he…

Sew What?

Clever use of words there huh? Yeah, not really. I'm bored. I need to be home sewing. I have SO MUCH sewing I need to do. I gotta have all my bears to the Spruill Gallery by the 22nd and still don't have poo done.
I'm still finding it hard to get motivated to spend hours upon hours sewing these little creatures when no one is buying them in the first place. I've had just a few up on etsy for months now and they've just sat there.
The whiney self concious part of me thinks that people are so over my bears...."Oh My Gah, those are SO last year" is what I imagine they're saying. Who "they" are, I have no idea.
Then, there are all the other voices (not the one's on my head, these voices are from actual people!) telling me to not be discouraged. They say it's like those for most everyone. The economy blows. No one's buying anything. Ok, then why bust my ass to get it all done? I got other things to do yo.
Combine it all and it really com…

Thoughts on the Recent Election (continued)

Here are the rest of the reactions I copied.

It looks like most people aren't happy with the outcome. I wonder if they voted?
AND.....Just to be clear, I copied EVERY SINGLE bulletin that was posted (well except a couple from one person who wrote shit that was absolutely impossible to understand). I didn't only copy certain ones, because again, I didn't care which one of the dummies won the election.
Here they are:
I knew people stupid enough to admit that they were only voting for Obama because he was BLACK. Are you KIDDING me? Well, what if I told you I only voted for McCain because he was WHITE? OH then I'd be a racist and a bad person! Double standard. People stupid enough to vote for something they don't know anything about deserve what they get - too bad they're going to drag the rest of us down with them. If those idots who were only voting because of race would have stayed home, I wonder if the outcome would have been different? White or Black candidate: i…

Crazy Danged Americans

The votes have been tallied. The people have spoken AND they're still talkin' about the election and will be talkin' about the election for the next several weeks to come. It's starting to give me a headache really.

It's pretty crazy to see all the intense reactions when you're someone like me that totally 100% don't give a flyin' terd. Like I said before, we've been screwed for a long time and it ain't gonna change anytime soon no matter who our President is.
I wanted to share what people are sayin' so I've copied bulletins posted on myspace not longer after the final count was made. I only actually know two or three of the people that these opinions came from and a couple of those shocked me.
It's all so interesting. So very, very interesting.......oh, and so you know the one that drops the N-bomb, was written by a black dude so don't start yer dern preachin'.

Here they are:

It's 12:30 PM. My mom and sister stopped by the h…

On the Outside Lookin' In

You pass by it everyday. It's a house that you used to know so very well. The house is a pretty flippin' sweet ass house and you wonder what it's like on the inside now.

One day you pull up in the driveway, get outta your car and go look in one of the windows. Your curiosity has gotten the better of you. You figure it's early in the morning, so what's the chances anyone will ever even notice? As you expected, everything pretty much looks the same, just different furniture and you're just not there anymore. You go back day after day lookin' in the windows and one day the person that lives there sees you and wonders what in the sam hell you're doin'. Since they really get a kick outta watchin' you all cuppin' your hands up to your face tryin' to get a peak in at what the house is like now, they just sit on the inside and watch. You look harmless enough. Day after day after day, you're on the outside lookin' in and they're on the…

I Got My "I Voted" Sticker.....

I sure did! Well, I totally cheated. I found one on the ground, picked up and wiped all the schmootz off it and pushed as hard as I possibly could to get it to stick to my shirt. Then I went to Starbucks. They were givin' away free drinks to people with "I Voted" stickers. Then after Starbucks, I went to KrispyKreme and got a free donut. Psht....to think, I was gonna go waste my time in line to vote just so I could get a free coffee and donut!

So yeah, I didn't vote. Holy god, the shit I got! "Oh my god, you're not gonna vote?"....."Don't you want your voice to be heard?"........"Don't you want change"...."You can vote for the lesser of two evils"!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. MY voice is heard. Ask anyone that knows me. The two doofuses running for the presidency DO NOT represent MY voice. Change schmange.....all politicians are the same. Neither candidate represents what I believe this country needs.....even in a kinda sorta w…