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Showing posts from December, 2009

BEST Christmas Present EVER

Not only do I love my mama wolf cat Christmas present (she even has little teets!) does our dog.

I'm cryin'. Tears. Down my face.

Three Days Left

...and I'm finally in the Christmas spirit. I've only been partially there, then for a minute there, I was totally NOT there. I wanted to burn Christmas down to the ground. I had to force it on myself. I had to blare Christmas music in the car and sing it really, really loud......fist pumpin' and all.

I had to get over how much those stupid fuckin' reindeer antlers people are puttin' on their cars piss me off. Then we went to see Christmasy stuff at Stone Mountain. That did the trick. Hundreds of thousands of Christmas lights'll always do the trick. I don't know what it is about colorful, shiny, sparkly shit, but it always makes me happy.

So, I've finally come around......and there's only three days left. Only THREE days! NOOOOOOO!!!! I need more! I call do over. Rewind. Back that shit up. I got a lot of obnoxious Christmasy behavior to pack into a small amount of time. Maybe I should go buy myself an awesome Christmas sweater. I don't get these …


I haven't been writing lately. I haven't been answerin' my phone or respondin' to emails a whole lot either.....I know. I've been busy tryin' to build a time machine so I could slow down time and actually enjoy the holidays. So far, it hasn't worked. Stupid time machine.

Everything seems to be in fast forward around Christmas time and I hate it. I can't seem to slow things down and enjoy it all. I decorated the house early. Got the presents wrapped and under the tree early. Everything certainly looks festive, but I just ain't feelin' it. Stupid time all goin' by too fast.

I really feel like I'm on the verge of a meltdown. It's been building for months now and I've been pretty successful at stavein' it off. Hopefully I can keep it up, but it's gettin' harder and harder. Is this what depression is?!?!? If it is, stupid depression.

My house is a mess. Everything from my basement is STILL in my dining room from the flood....…


I ain't so good at change. I hate change. Change makes me panic.

On that note, I'm about to make a pretty big change.......for me anyways. I'm gonna be leavin' blogger soon for my own .com. I'm nervous. I'm totally freakin' out. It's the unknown and I don't do unknown. Hell, I can't even figure out unknown!

You ever feel totally retarded when it comes to computer stuff? I do. All the time. Totally retarded. I can't figure out shit. Even the most minute change can leave me a droolin' mess on the floor. Luckily, I have Brandy. She can do anything....I mean ANYTHING. She's always helped me with all my computer issues. You need retarded help with website/blog stuff....she's your lady. You need a website/blog built.....she's your lady. She's gonna help me build my new blog and even host it for me. Host? What does that even MEAN!?!? I dunno, but luckily she does.

I'm freakin' out over this, but she said do it, so I am. Wel…

Yeah, Weird....I Dunno

I saw an itsy-bitsy bug walkin' on the bathroom floor this mornin' all wobbly and shit and thought, "wow, he must be blind and deaf....or drunk". On closer inspection, it was just a piece of fuzz.

I was lockin' my front door once and sneezed.....a piece of carrot came flyin' out my nose, hit the door and bounced back hittin' me in the face. Where'd that carrot been hidin'???

I took this picture at the Tellus Museum in the little train town cases.
I totally pretended I lived in this little town. I had a whole life. Really, I did. I used to see a plane flyin' overhead and would think about myself bein' on it flyin' somewhere totally awesome.

I've been on a pancake makin' kick lately. Every time I make 'em I sing Sarah McLaughlin songs. I hate Sara McLaughlin.

I talk to my plant at work. It's all gettin' big and has pretty shiny leaves. I thought, "dang, talkin' to plants totally works!....just look at how shiny …

Yee HAW! Gonna Meet the Pioneer Woman Tonight!!!

****SECOND UPDATE**** Pioneer Woman won't be speakin' tonight. Only signin'. ****UPDATE**** 2:30 p.m. Just called Borders. Pioneer Woman has moved signing up to 6:00 p.m. Boarders started handin' out colored wristbands at 9 this mornin' to guarantee your spot in line. YOU MUST HAVE A WRISTBAND!!! They're now on they're THIRD color of wristbands, and have never used more than one color at any other book signing! I had planned on gettin' there around 4ish so I could have a decent spot in line, but after this whole wristband thing, I ain't goin'.....sad face..... Ain't no way in hell I can sit in line until what is at this point gonna be 1 or 2 a.m with a whole bunch of mom bloggers all talkin' about baby snot and shit.....dammit....lame. I was SOOOOO excited!!! Dear Ree, I love your blog, like a whole lot. I love your kids faces and Marlboro Man's too. I love your funny way of writin', all your pretty photos and especially the recipes,…

Winter Swap Meet at Jailhouse Choppers!

Don't you hate it when it gets all cold outside and all the swap meets seem to disappear? Yeah well, Jailhouse Choppers is steppin' up to satisfy your need for a winter swap meet.....this Sunday, December 6th from 1o a.m. to 5 p.m.

Come out and buy some stuff for your winter project (whether it be a bike or a hot rod) and meet Pauly and Trafton and the rest of the Jailhouse team.....




You got questions, they got answers........

The Stand In.....

Crisis averted......she totally fell for it.....or at least she pretended to.

This is how it all went down.....

I stopped at TJ Maxx on the way home and grabbed this way cute little elf. There's a whole lotta cuteness to match it that I wanted to buy too, but this is one broke bitch, and the elf was a necessity.

I got home and said to the girl, "I got the weirdest voicemail today at work. It said.....Collect call from the North Pole, press 1 to accept". Keep in mind that I am the WORLD'S WORST liar. This was no small feat for me. The girl was all, "MOM!!! That coulda been Little Jimmy callin' to explain why he ain't here on time, and YOU missed the call!"......

"Ain't no way it can be this easy" I thought. There is NO way the girl's fallin' for this shit. She calls me out on EVERYTHING and she don't do it subtly. She all bob's her head and holds up that one finger sayin' she ain't no dummy.....she's alw…

APB....Little Jimmy is Missing!!!

It's December 1st and Little Jimmy shoulda made his first appearance at the house this morning. Evidently, I hid Little Jimmy so good that last time last year that even I can't find him. This is no bueno.
Little Jimmy is an Elf on the Shelf. We read the book, he shows up in a different spot every morning and watches and reports back to Santa every night. Seriously.

The boy gets it. He knows. The elf ain't nothin' but a stuffed doll. The girl....she still believes. She was snoopin' around a week or so ago and found the book that Little Jimmy is SUPPOSED to be stuffed in after Christmas and said "Mom! Little Jimmy's not in his book! He's gone back to the North Pole to get all his instructions!"

"Dammit. She STILL believes in Little Jimmy", I remember thinkin'.

I mean really, you try comin' up with 30 different hidin' spots for a little elf that won't take your kids more than a few minutes to find every mornin'…