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APB....Little Jimmy is Missing!!!

It's December 1st and Little Jimmy shoulda made his first appearance at the house this morning. Evidently, I hid Little Jimmy so good that last time last year that even I can't find him. This is no bueno.
Little Jimmy is an Elf on the Shelf. We read the book, he shows up in a different spot every morning and watches and reports back to Santa every night. Seriously.

The boy gets it. He knows. The elf ain't nothin' but a stuffed doll. The girl....she still believes. She was snoopin' around a week or so ago and found the book that Little Jimmy is SUPPOSED to be stuffed in after Christmas and said "Mom! Little Jimmy's not in his book! He's gone back to the North Pole to get all his instructions!"

"Dammit. She STILL believes in Little Jimmy", I remember thinkin'.

I mean really, you try comin' up with 30 different hidin' spots for a little elf that won't take your kids more than a few minutes to find every mornin'. Sure, I could go all crazy and shit and put him in kitchen cabinets and the dog's crate and in a kabillion other spots that would have the kids huntin' forever, but I'd be gettin' the kids up at 5 every mornin' so they'd have enough time to find the damn thing.

I have this really old ornament on my tree that bares an eerie resemblance to our Little Jimmy and I considered just pullin' off the tree hopin' the girl wouldn't notice it was just a stand in. I can hear it now though. "That ain't little Jimmy! What's goin' on here? You've got some splainin' to do".

Dammit Little Jimmy. I think you've had enough time gettin' your instructions from Santa. You need to get your ass in gear and get back to the house.


Lori said…
My mom used to lie to us all the time. Perhaps you could say that maybe Little jimmy knows she's good and he had to work hard with some bad kids.
And probably she doesn't completely still believe- she just likes the game.
Lana said…
i kidnapped little jimmy! no i didn't, but he's cute and i might have if i lived closer.

is he in the garage? he might have gone there to reminisce about being in santa's workshop building toys...
That's way better than what I had come up with to tell her! I was gonna say that he got drunk at the North Pole bar and was in a drinkin' and drivin' accident on his way back to our house and has to be in the hospital for a while....but let's just be grateful he's still alive.

You know....anytime you can teach a kid a lesson......Drinkin' and drivin' = long stay in the hospital.....if you're lucky enough to still be alive. HA!
Loopy said…
Nothing says lovin' like a heartwarming family lesson!
I do hope he shows up soon, I hear he's behind in alimony bills.
I never heard of this tradition but I LOVE it!! I want my own! I so hope you find him. Can you order another one? can you make a replacement? something must be done to keep the story going!!
I can get another one Jen, I just don't wanna, these books are close to $40!

I may stop at Marshall's on the way home and buy a replacement (they have very similar lookin' elves) and say that Little Jimmy was detained and retired or somethin'.......

It is a pretty fun thing to do for the kids. Some people go as far as sayin' these elves are mischevious elves and they unravel rolls of toilet paper or knock over a dining room chair and say the elf did it! I'm just too lazy for all that noise.
Alimony! Yes! Yet another lesson to be learned...
I wish he was in the garage Lana! I just remember comin' downstairs early Christmas mornin' last year and seein' Little Jimmy and thinkin' "Oh shit! He's supposed to be gone back to the North Pole until next year!" and I stuffed him somewhere real quick so the girl wouldn't see him. Who knows, who knows.
Sally-Sal said…
Little Jimmy is a traitorous bitch. Just kidding.

My gramma had one of those, and I used a candle to turn his face to the wall when I was doing something I didn't want him to see.
Yeah, traiterous little terd of an elf. Dammit.

I did get another elf today on the way home. Let's see if I can pull it off as one of Lil' Jim's relatives. The things we do for our kids.....
Sally-Sal said…
If he looks newer than old Jimmy, just say that New Jimmy had an extreme makeover: elf edition.

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