Skip to main content

I'm a Total Freakin' Nag

I only want the best for my kids. I don't want them goin' out into the big boy world without a clue as to how to handle themselves. I hope that they learn from watching. That they think, ok....that's the way Mom and Dad do things, that's the way I'll do things.

The girl pretty much gets it. At her age, she could probably out live me if she found herself lost in the jungle. The boy, he's an entirely different story. So many people tell me, "It's just a boy thing, he'll grow out of it". Hell yeah he'll grow out of it, I'm gonna make damn sure of that! However, in doing that I've realized that I'm a big fat pain in the ass nag. It hit me last night......

Last night I saw that the boys nails were so long he coulda picked my nose from across the room. This has been a problem we've struggled with for a long time and I'm tired of having to say anything about it. I had gotten so tired of seeing him with long nails that I painted them a pretty pretty pink once. You'd have thought I was pulling his fingernails off with pliers the way he reacted, but did that change anything? Does he cut his nails regularly? Hell no!
I was about to open my mouth and say something to him last night, but instead I decided to keep my mouth shut and wait until he left the room so I could tell his dad it was his turn to be the nag.
Let's cut to this morning.
The boy opens up his two packages of grits. He leaves the top part that he ripped off on the counter along with about half a bag of grits that had spewed everywhere. Did he clean it up? No. I go on to tell him he can't leave trash and food on the counter and all the reasons why not.
As I'm saying all this to him, I notice he has a filthy shirt on. I say to him "Hey....you get that shirt out of the dirty clothes?" He says "no, it was hanging on my wall". Ok, that's a little weird, but whatever. I go on to tell him he can't wear a filthy shirt to school and all the reasons why not.
As he's smelling his shirt to see if it actually smells dirty, he lifts up his arm to get a wiff of the pits and I notice he smells vaguely like tacos. So, that means he didn't put on deodorant......again. We've been working on this one for like three years now and he still doesn't give a crap whether or not he's known as the stinky kid in class. Ok. Whatever. At this point I'm totally freakin' over it, but still ask if he's remembered to put on deodorant. He says "GAH!" and stomps off up the stairs and I'm all "Ok, Napoleon Dynamite, why you wanna be all stompin' on the stairs and stuff? They didn't do anything to you".
While he's upstairs putting on deodorant, I put a kettle on to boil and run to the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom the kettle started to whistle....and whistle....and whistle. Normally if I can't get to it, the girl will yell "MOM! Tea's done....and she'll turn the stove off". This morning, the girl was already at school. So the kettle went on whistling, all the while the boy was standing in the kitchen watching his grits go round in the microwave. Holy jesus.....I finally got to the kettle. I turned it off and stood there eyeballin' my kid. He says "What?".....I just shake my head and make my damn tea.
I hate constantly nagging the boy. HATE IT and I know he hates me for it. If he'd just pay attention and do what he should do, I wouldn't have to say anything. I just don't want to be responsible for a child of mine being an adult who has a filthy roach infested house and walks around with pretty pretty girl nails wearing dirty clothes and smellin' like tacos.
He just won't listen! How the hell am I supposed to teach him all this without being a total freakin' nag? DAMMIT!

Comments

He will get it one day....

Popular posts from this blog

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...