FML

This whole tryin' to be positive shit ain't workin' today.....or for the past few days as a matter of fact.

I'm tired. My mind hasn't absorbed so much learnin' since I was like.....I dunno.....youngish.

You know what learnin' overkill does to me? Shuts me down.....fucks me up. All this thinkin' straight at the new job ain't lettin' me think straight anywhere else. I get home and my brain turns to fondue. I'm so, so, so tired.

On top of this tired shit, my weekends are PACKED...and now I have no money for these packed weekends. Not only did I take a HUGE pay cut, but Jeremy's job just decided that his position is no longer needed....so.....they've put him back to what he did when he first started workin' there three years ago and MAJORLY cut his pay. MAJORLY.

When the fuck does this stop?

I've said over and over.....good things come to good people. What'd I do that ain't good?????

I even gave that chick standin' at the exit beggin for money a $20 bill because I felt bad for her because her shoes were shit. Yeah. TWENTY DOLLARS.

....and, and...this whole couponing shit......takes up way too much of my time and I'm not sure how well it's gonna work for me. Today I spent $71 and saved $54.01. What'd that $71 get me? Not a damned thing I woulda otherwise bought. Well except a $20 prescription, toilet paper. lettuce and some bread. Everything else is shit I wouldn't have even bought. So let's do the math.....spent $71.....only $31.25 was shit I needed....that mean I wasted $39.75. I mean I woulda bought some cereal which I got 4 boxes of, but I got a bunch of cereal already.........so with the amount of time I spend cuttin' coupons, matchin' up deals and makin' my list is it really worth it? I don't see it. I'll give it a couple more weeks though.

I need to start makin' bears again. I know I've said it like 100 times already, but I really do. What's holdin' me back???? First, my sewing room is still shit from after the 814 times that our basement flooded over the last 8 months. It's hard to get motivated when you don't even know where shit is. I need neat and clean to get motivated. Second....time. Between life in general, couponing and jam packed weekends, I got none. Third......the whole havin' a brain made outta fondue, I'm lucky I remember to wear a bra to work.

I need a break. From reality.