Skip to main content

What the Hell Were You Lookin' For???

I have a statcounter on my blog that shows me all kindsa awesomeness. I loved seein' where people are from that look at my blog....how they came to it......how long they spent readin' my nonsense......I used to look at it everyday, but I eventually got to where I just don't check it as often and now, I hardly ever check at all. Another thing that has fallen to the wayside, because I've got other shit to do.....

I do LOVE the statcounter's "recent keyword activity". It can be pretty danged amusin'. It shows you what words were searched for that brought a person to your blog. I've been compiling a list of my favorites for a while.....it's pretty crazy the shit people search for. Even more crazy is the fact that some of the crazy shit people've searched for brings them to my harmless blog. I've google the words and linked to the posts the searches lead to...



how to hit a retard - What? He grabbed my vagina!

six blak gay weht aneml - Um....ewww.

shredded tongue - Surprise your friends....cook this and just tell 'em it's roast. They'll LOVE it and after they tell you how awesome it is, tell 'em what it really is.

girl squirting blogspot - yeah...not sure. I googled it and got tired of wadin' through all the squirtin' girls.

I need small slut shoes - I do love me some slut shoes. Too bad I'm all fat and my feet are all small so I walk around like a weeble wobble....and then I do fall down.

how do you get the tires off a 62 comet - Ummm.....a jack and a tire iron perhaps?

where u bitches going tonight - Us bitches do like goin' out....

I pretend I'm hiking on the treadmill - I still whimper and cry a little when I think of this. I.....am scarred.

do little boys butts stink
- What the fuck? Why would someone google this?!?!? Bet they were disappointed when the got to my blog and read about plastic charms, Galaxy High and Multiples.

Am I gay if I like tighty whities?
If you are under the age of 55, yes, yes you are.

Where can I buy a beer bike?
I dunno, but when you find out, you gotta tell me, cuz I bet I can figer out how to make a whiskey bike.....

I've never really felt it before...but I think I like it... - I didn't feel nothin', but it was nice that somebody finally listened and took their pannies off.

I'm eight months pregnant and haven't exercised - I'm about 8 1/2 months now and have been for like 4 months.

Death is like a garbage - Ever been doused in trash can juice? I have.

Shit in panties - I did not.

Comments

Ally said…
I can always count on you for a laugh :)

FourthGradeNothing.com
Ally....glad I can! I make myself laugh pretty often too!
throttlehog said…
OK, so I know I've read this a year and a half later, but, OMG! YOU ARE SOOOOO FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!

So like, just where have you been all my life?! And don't you dare go back there...EVAH!

heeheehee

No really, I feel blessed that I Google image searched "trashcans" and somehow found your blog - you have made my day with your dry, deadpan and unapologetic point of view! You rock!

I'll forever be a CIFLI-ite - unless, of course, you wake up one day and find you've become bitter and jaded and can't even manage to look funny. I've got that covered well enough all by myself... ...

Popular posts from this blog

Where I'm At

I have no internet access at work and it's killin' me. It's nuts how hooked on that shit I am! I'm used to havin' Facebook open all day.....chattin' with friends, lookin' at all the stupid shit posted.....no mas. One day, I'm gonna go missin' and my new co-workers are gonna find me huddled in a corner rockin' back and forth droolin' on myself mumblin' somethin' about Facebook destroyin' my life. I hope they just put me outta my misery right then and there.......

Unfortunately, my blog's gonna take the biggest hit. I've always blogged from from work. It was nice and quiet and I could THINK which is somethin' that's dang near impossible to do at home. This whole havin' a husband and kids thing doesn't really afford me the time or the quiet I need to write.

Today though I decided I don't really care about all those hours of Facebook updates. They were amusing at work, but once I'm at home, ehhh...…

Adam's Obit and Guestbook

The AJC posted an awesome article about Adam and Saturday night. Somebody finally got it right....mostly. Like everything else, it'll make you cry.

His Obituary has also been posted. There are a lot of great positive messages that have been left in the Guestbook.


A friend of mine sent me this picture from Saturday night. There's a lot I'd like to say about it, but it just ain't comin' out yet.



The viewing will be at Wages Funeral home on 78, Tuesday from 4pm-8pm.The Funeral will be Wednesday at 11am at Wages with burial @ 5pm in Leesburg, Ga.Wages Funeral Home, 3705 Highway 78 W, Snellville, GA 30039, (770) 979-3200

$13 Tattoos at 13 Roses in East Atlanta....On Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th is upon us again! The most unluckiest of all days. Mwuahahahahah!!!!

HOWEVER, you can turn it around and make it your LUCKIEST day, because 13 Roses Tattoo Parlour in East Atlanta is having their $13 tattoo special! No, you didn't read wrong....THIRTEEN FREAKIN' DOLLARS (+ a $7 lucky tip). You gotta 20? You gotta tattoo!

The artists in the shop have drawn up 13 different designs to choose from and they all incorporate the number 13. Last year, a friend of mine got a little bat with the number 13 in it and it was pretty flippin' sweet! You wanna know what there is to chose from this year? You gotta get your sweet ass down there and see for yourself!

It's first come first serve. You get put on a list, your not able to choose the artist (ya git who ya git, but they're all pretty awesome!), you pick one of the 13 designs they have and bickety freakin' BAM.....you got yer tattoo!
Seriously you could totally make a day/night outta this! The doors will be …