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What the Hell Were You Lookin' For???

I have a statcounter on my blog that shows me all kindsa awesomeness. I loved seein' where people are from that look at my they came to long they spent readin' my nonsense......I used to look at it everyday, but I eventually got to where I just don't check it as often and now, I hardly ever check at all. Another thing that has fallen to the wayside, because I've got other shit to do.....

I do LOVE the statcounter's "recent keyword activity". It can be pretty danged amusin'. It shows you what words were searched for that brought a person to your blog. I've been compiling a list of my favorites for a's pretty crazy the shit people search for. Even more crazy is the fact that some of the crazy shit people've searched for brings them to my harmless blog. I've google the words and linked to the posts the searches lead to...

how to hit a retard - What? He grabbed my vagina!

six blak gay weht aneml - Um....ewww.

shredded tongue - Surprise your friends....cook this and just tell 'em it's roast. They'll LOVE it and after they tell you how awesome it is, tell 'em what it really is.

girl squirting blogspot - yeah...not sure. I googled it and got tired of wadin' through all the squirtin' girls.

I need small slut shoes - I do love me some slut shoes. Too bad I'm all fat and my feet are all small so I walk around like a weeble wobble....and then I do fall down.

how do you get the tires off a 62 comet - Ummm.....a jack and a tire iron perhaps?

where u bitches going tonight - Us bitches do like goin' out....

I pretend I'm hiking on the treadmill - I still whimper and cry a little when I think of this. scarred.

do little boys butts stink
- What the fuck? Why would someone google this?!?!? Bet they were disappointed when the got to my blog and read about plastic charms, Galaxy High and Multiples.

Am I gay if I like tighty whities?
If you are under the age of 55, yes, yes you are.

Where can I buy a beer bike?
I dunno, but when you find out, you gotta tell me, cuz I bet I can figer out how to make a whiskey bike.....

I've never really felt it before...but I think I like it... - I didn't feel nothin', but it was nice that somebody finally listened and took their pannies off.

I'm eight months pregnant and haven't exercised - I'm about 8 1/2 months now and have been for like 4 months.

Death is like a garbage - Ever been doused in trash can juice? I have.

Shit in panties - I did not.


Ally said…
I can always count on you for a laugh :)
Ally....glad I can! I make myself laugh pretty often too!
throttlehog said…
OK, so I know I've read this a year and a half later, but, OMG! YOU ARE SOOOOO FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!

So like, just where have you been all my life?! And don't you dare go back there...EVAH!


No really, I feel blessed that I Google image searched "trashcans" and somehow found your blog - you have made my day with your dry, deadpan and unapologetic point of view! You rock!

I'll forever be a CIFLI-ite - unless, of course, you wake up one day and find you've become bitter and jaded and can't even manage to look funny. I've got that covered well enough all by myself... ...

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