What the Hell Were You Lookin' For???

I have a statcounter on my blog that shows me all kindsa awesomeness. I loved seein' where people are from that look at my blog....how they came to it......how long they spent readin' my nonsense......I used to look at it everyday, but I eventually got to where I just don't check it as often and now, I hardly ever check at all. Another thing that has fallen to the wayside, because I've got other shit to do.....

I do LOVE the statcounter's "recent keyword activity". It can be pretty danged amusin'. It shows you what words were searched for that brought a person to your blog. I've been compiling a list of my favorites for a while.....it's pretty crazy the shit people search for. Even more crazy is the fact that some of the crazy shit people've searched for brings them to my harmless blog. I've google the words and linked to the posts the searches lead to...

how to hit a retard - What? He grabbed my vagina!

six blak gay weht aneml - Um....ewww.

shredded tongue - Surprise your friends....cook this and just tell 'em it's roast. They'll LOVE it and after they tell you how awesome it is, tell 'em what it really is.

girl squirting blogspot - yeah...not sure. I googled it and got tired of wadin' through all the squirtin' girls.

I need small slut shoes - I do love me some slut shoes. Too bad I'm all fat and my feet are all small so I walk around like a weeble wobble....and then I do fall down.

how do you get the tires off a 62 comet - Ummm.....a jack and a tire iron perhaps?

where u bitches going tonight - Us bitches do like goin' out....

I pretend I'm hiking on the treadmill - I still whimper and cry a little when I think of this. I.....am scarred.

do little boys butts stink - What the fuck? Why would someone google this?!?!? Bet they were disappointed when the got to my blog and read about plastic charms, Galaxy High and Multiples.

Am I gay if I like tighty whities? If you are under the age of 55, yes, yes you are.

Where can I buy a beer bike? I dunno, but when you find out, you gotta tell me, cuz I bet I can figer out how to make a whiskey bike.....

I've never really felt it before...but I think I like it... - I didn't feel nothin', but it was nice that somebody finally listened and took their pannies off.

I'm eight months pregnant and haven't exercised - I'm about 8 1/2 months now and have been for like 4 months.

Death is like a garbage - Ever been doused in trash can juice? I have.

Shit in panties - I did not.

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

Rev Run's Words of Wisdom

Yes my friends, it's time for another installment of the ever so wise Rev Run's Words of Wisdom...... "Never come down off your chariot to fight those who are throwing tomatoes" This goes back to the old tried and true saying, "pick your battles". Why stoop to someone else's level when it's just not worth it? Why raise your blood pressure? Nobody looks good all bug eyed with veins poppin ' outta their head because they're so worked up over what really amounts to nothing. We've all done it, and it just makes us look like fools. You gotta learn to sit back and watch people say and do stupid things, even if it pertains to you. It's way funner (another totally awesome word). Who cares if someone's talkin ' crap about you? Let it roll of your back. Why involve yourself with other people's stupid? Chances are, they're an insignificant person who has nothing better to do and hates life. Chances are, they're miserable ...

The Pain in Grief

Everyone grieves differently. Some people tend to keep it together as much as humanly possible so they can take care of everyone else, then they break down when they're finally alone. Some people flip their shit and go over the deep end which tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable, because what do you say to a person that's flipped their shit? Some people hole themselves up and just want to be alone, while others need to surround themselves with as many friends/family as possible. Then there's the people that decided no one loved the person that passed more than they did and no one is entitled to hurt like they are. All those people do is inflict unnecessary pain on others in a time where people are already hurting so deeply. Losing someone close to you hurts. Bad.....and crazy things come of it usually. Some good, some not so good. It can cause the people closest involved to make rash decisions that are irresponsible and hurtful to everyone else involved. You ar...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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