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An Uncomfortable Wiggly Sorta Problem

I had some serious panty issues today. I walked around all day with my hands all down my pants having to adjust them. They were all uncomfortable and creepin' up in weird places and shit. I'm sure it was quite a sight to anyone who witnessed it.

At first I thought "maybe when you get to a certain age thongs are just no longer comfortable", but I highly doubt that thongs just suddenly get uncomfortable to wear, so then just figured it must be the cheap ass panties I bought at the Dollar Store givin' out on me, but then I realized I've never actually bought panties at the Dollar Store before so that couldn't have been it either. So what the fuck's the problem here?

I figured it'd be best to go to the bathroom and just take the damn things off instead of walkin' around molestin' myself all day at work. Once I got to the bathroom to take them off, the problem was quite evident. My panties were on all wonky and shit! My waist was actually through one of the freakin' leg holes!!!! Really? Who does that? What the hell?

In case anyone who may have seen me walkin' around with my hands down my pants and wondered what in the sam hell I was doin', self molesting explained. At least I wasn't on national television with a camel toe like the chick on Bachelorette was the other night. I guess things could always be worse.


Tori said…
LOL!! That is awesome. I mean, not awesome for YOU, but it was awesome reading about it. Did you get dressed in the dark or???
Amazingly enough, no I didn't!I have no idea how it happened! Like Jerm said though, at least I didn't have them on backwards.
Tori :) said…
Backwards... LOL!
Cooking Asshole said…
That chick must have given those bottoms a serious hike right before that scene was shot.
Oh gawd...that shit STILL makes me laugh when I see it! Better a camel toe than a moose knuckle I suppose.
Cooking Asshole said…
"moose knuckle"

Now that is fucking hilarious!
Organic Meatbag said…
I had an underwear malfunction recently too... while getting out of my work clothes one day after I got home, I discovered somehow that my junk (ALL my junk) somehow manged to make a run for it through the gaping fly of my underwear...I knew it felt weird...I hope you weren't eating while reading this...
AHAHAHAAAA!!! Your meat and potatos were all hangin' out!!!!

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