Monday, December 22, 2008

Roastin' Marshmellows, Feedin' Goats and Lookin' at Creepy Creatures at the Lights of Life

Here it is.....you've all been waiting for it......drum roll please....

THE LIGHTS OF LIFE!!!

Maybe you haven't been waiting for it. Ok, so you totally haven't been waiting for it, but here is is nonetheless.

This year J stayed at home with Jay and the boy and Allison and I took the girls. It worked out pretty well. Lots of people (actually people period) make J's eye twitch and his palms sweaty so we just drive through the lights and don't get out of the car and participate on the other stuff that's there. I take that back, we did it one year. For some reason there wasn't another person to be seen so we did talk J into stopping. I had totally forgotten how awesomely creepy those things were. Granted, they're from 1952, but still totally creepy. Just have a look at my girl's shocked and horrified face.....she was totally scared.....ok maybe not.......You ready? First, I present you with Chucky's Mom.....err.....Mrs. Claus.... You done screamin'??? Here's Santa Claus.....He's not too bad. He looks jolly enough. I guess I would be too if I had these little guys tellin' me that if I had a momentary lapse in jolliness they would suck my brain out through my ears and feed it to the chickens for Christmas dinner!Yeah, that's right, straight to the chickens!

After we soaked up enough of the creepy little characters of a Christmas long passed, we got a funnel cake, marshmallows for the girls to roast and goat food. The only way my girl likes her marshmallows is straight outta the bag so her friend got a double dose of them since they had gotten a little gooey from the fire. See all those phantom marshmallow sticks over the fire....awesome huh? I had to get rid of a few kids and a fat woman that may not want to be in my blog. I didn't know them, nor them me, but whatever. I also cut my girl's friend outta the picture for fear of her crazy ass mom (the opinions expressed in this blog are mine and mine alone) seein' her her and flippin' out, because that chick is totally off her freakin' rocker (again the opinions expressed in this blog are mine and mine alone). That's all I'll say about that.After the roastin' of the marshmallows, we fed the goats. There were only about 20 of the suckers in a fenced area big enough for like four. Those were some hungry little bastards. Once you ran outta food, they wanted to eat the cup it was in. Once you turned to walk away, they wanted to eat the back of your coat. It was awesome.I took lots of pictures of the girls posing next to cute Christmas lights. They totally were like Bob Barker's ladies presenting a grill for excited contestants. Here is my favorite one.....We finally got the girls back to the car so we could head to see the rest of the lights. Boy the fun! The girls were singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" over and over and over. For a minute it was cute. The windows in the car were down and as people would pass going in the opposite direction, they would sing it back to the girls. Like I said, it was cute for a minute. Then MY eyeball started to twitch. Maybe it was the exhaust from all the slow moving cars, but I think it was the same verse of the same song being sang OVER AND OVER....AND that was ON TOP of the loud ass chiming bell.

Ever tried getting pictures of Christmas lights while inside a moving car? It can produce some pretty sweet ass pictures.
This one below is from a house in Atlanta, but I love it and where else would I put it?

I tried over and over to get a decent picture of the dragon in the pond, but I just couldn't manage to do it from the car so we got out and walked over the bridge to the pond. It did get the girls to stop singing.....for a minute. Silly little bastards that put the dragon in the water left the string it was tied to on shore so Allison said "Hey, where do you want the dragon?". I looked back and see was reelin' it in for me. It was tied down on the other side so there was no real movement. Dammit. Stupid dragon.

Back to the car we went. It was time to head home.
On the way out we saw Santa and his reindeer flyin' in the night sky. I love Santa....even if he is afraid his elves are gonna suck his brain through his ear.

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