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Christmas Is Over Bitches.....

This year we wanted to have a party with all of our friends that was all about Christmas. Atleast the food, presents, and drinkin' part of Christmas anyways. Amazingly enough, pretty much everybody did bring food and some dang good food at that! I love food. Have I mentioned that before?

We had so much freakin' food it was insane. I wish I had gotten a picture of all of it, but I just got this one from early on. We wanted to wait until most everybody got there before we started eating. Everybody did different things to pass the time. Some slept.....
Some practiced the newest gang signs from the "Gang Signs for Dummies" book they got for Christmas.....

.....and when he realized he hadn't gotten past chapter two of the book, he moved on to other things to do to pass the time......
Seriously, you gotta know not to pass out in a room full of people. Even if it's your friends, because even your own friends can be evil.....
Once most everyone arrived and we all had food in our bellies, it was time to open gifts. We did the white elephant gift exchange, which I'm not positive on the rules so I just kinda made 'em up as we went. There were so many people in the living room that seats were kinda hard to come by so everybody had to really squeeze in....
Seriously, EVERYONE was wearing black. Next year, that ain't gonna fly. I think I'll tell everyone they have to wear Christmas sweaters. Yep. The first name I drew was my brother's girlfriend, John (named chaged to protect her identity, even though it's what I called her all night long anyhow). It was their first time at one of our little get togethers....I hope they're not scarred. She don't look scarred.....
The gifts kept gettin' better and better. This was a box slap ass full of trucker hats.....
This old ass oil can seemed to be what everyone wanted. Chewy (name not changed to protect her identity) was the first to get it and she didn't have it for long.....
This was by far one of the awesomest gifts that nobody wanted.....look, it's a big floating pink star! Ha! Ha! When my mom saw this picture that's what she thought it really was! She didn't realize what it was covering.Yes, that is a speciman cup. It's actually a candle. Too bad it was unscented. I personally thought it should smell like asparagus.
Here's MeMe and her cute new boyfriend.....
and here's my brother. First the 40 came outta the bag, them came the lime green butt bead lookin' scarf. He was sure to pull it out nice and slow.....
This book was AWESOME! Once everyone finished opening gifts, we should've left it on the bathroom counter for the boys to play with. The best page in the book was a fireman holding a hose and you can guess where the pokey part was. The look on the fireman's face was priceless.
This was my FAVORITE gift of the night. I was told by the naughty school teacher that bought it that her gift was gonna be the best. I told her she was wrong. There was no way she was gonna out do my speciman cup candle. She totally did. Dammit. I had this sweet ass (ha! ha! Get it? Ass?) for a brief minute, but it totally got jacked from me. Bastard.
I did get a pretty sweet gift though......clappin' hands all glitterfied and the pinstriped metal thingy. I think they'll both look pretty sweet hangin' up in the house.
and the final owner of the much saught after oil can......
This boy was pretty serious about his gift.....
.....and the soft furry butt bead scarf made it's way around. Boy the stories I could tell....
Everybody got pretty tired of the swapping pretty quick and we all headed back down to the garage. You know how most people at parties tend to hang around in the kitchen? Not at our house. It could be 16 degrees below zero and everybody would be in the garage.....

Look, there I am in my sweet ass party pants. I may have been wearin' a black shirt like everybody else, but it was 100% party below the belly. Awesome right? They'd been way awesomer if I had had my butt panties.

I'm not sure what time I made it upstairs to bed, but I atleast had the forthought to clean a bit before I did. You know when you get really drunk at a bar and go home with someone that you think's smokin' hot, but when you wake up next to them the morning and think "Aw shit! I came home with THIS!?!?!"....well that's never happend to me, but the closest I get to it is the feeling I get when I wake up the next mornin' and see a big fat mess left over from the night before.

This my friends is what I believe did me in.......Satan was in that bottle......
Yep, that's definitely, what did me in. Well, that an the gin and tonic minus the tonic that I had....
Our Christmas Ain't Over Yet Bitches party was awesome and we'll totally do it again next year! You better start shoppin' for your Christmas sweater now!

Comments

Wow!!! Quite a party!! Looks like you had fun!!!
Ape Mummy said…
Damn, that seems a lot more fun than the Xmas parties I went to. Although I did get a bottle of Eagle Rare & a new smoker from Santa this year...
Lori said…
Sorry I didn;t make it. I suck. This unemployment thing makes me sooooo lazzzzyyy. But once I sell a kidney I'll be good to go!

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