Skip to main content

Something's Happened to Me

My tape dispenser ran out of tape so I reached into the top drawer of my desk to get a new roll out and there wasn't one there.

I went to Victoria's Secret last week and went to pull a coupon out of my wallet and it wasn't where it was supposed to be. I had to dig though my entire purse to find it. (It was a really good coupon man!)

I didn't start my Christmas list until TWO DAYS before black friday.

My stove top hasn't been properly cleaned in over a week. It's a black stove top. I hate black stove tops. Somebody told me I would, I didn't believe it. They were right. I was wrong. Stupid black stove top, I hate cleaning you and won't until this weekend.

There's probably a pink ring around the guest bathroom toilet and the shelf over the toilet is dusty I'm sure.

There is cat litter all over my bedroom floor by the cat box and it's been there for DAYS.

I haven't cleaned our bathroom floor in months. Like three months.....and the kid's bathroom....they clean it when I tell them to or it doesn't get done.

There are papers everywhere. Everywhere is shit. Loads of it. I don't know where anything is pretty much ever anymore.

My "TO DO" list says "make list for J" and "make Christmas dinner list"....seriously my to do list is telling me I have more to do lists to DO when I have the time (this isn't my to do list, but that's funny as shit!).
You could ask anybody that has known me for years about my organization and cleaning habits. They'd probably say I'm over the top ridiculous. I had to be that way to be sane. Now, not so much I guess. There was seriously NOT AN EXTRA BOX OF TAPE IN MY TOP DRAWER! There used to ALWAYS be another box there.

There was a time that I could reach into my purse without ever looking and be able to pull out whatever I needed. Not one glance. Now, there's things in my purse that I didn't even know I ever had. Our house is trashed. Like all the time. People come over and it's trashed. A few year's ago, my house was spotless....always. Nothing out of its place. Everything had a place. I was just shy of some serious OCD type shit..... Labels the same way in the fridge, pantry and bathroom. I would scrape the cracks and crevices of the floors with a knife so there was never any crap caked up. I would clean UNDER my stove and fridge ALL THE TIME. Niknak's got dusted once a week or more. I used to vacuum everyday. No more......none of it. Labels, schmabels. Scrubbing crevices with a knife.....whatever. Vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms? Yeah, I'll get around to that.....eventually....when I feel like it.

Seriously, what has happened to me? I think I've gone a bit wonky. Oh well, I'm still awesome.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

APB....Little Jimmy is Missing!!!

It's December 1st and Little Jimmy shoulda made his first appearance at the house this morning. Evidently, I hid Little Jimmy so good that last time last year that even I can't find him. This is no bueno. Little Jimmy is an Elf on the Shelf . We read the book, he shows up in a different spot every morning and watches and reports back to Santa every night. Seriously. The boy gets it. He knows. The elf ain't nothin' but a stuffed doll. The girl....she still believes. She was snoopin' around a week or so ago and found the book that Little Jimmy is SUPPOSED to be stuffed in after Christmas and said "Mom! Little Jimmy's not in his book! He's gone back to the North Pole to get all his instructions!" "Dammit. She STILL believes in Little Jimmy", I remember thinkin'. I mean really, you try comin' up with 30 different hidin' spots for a little elf that won't take your kids more than a few minutes to find every mornin...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...