Skip to main content

Random Things I Remember

My memory blows. Bad. I hate it. I figure when I'm old (and if I can remember how to work a computer) I'll come back here and reminisce over all the randome things I remember......

At my first elementary school, left handed kids were segregated from the rest of the class like there was something wrong with them.

I wanted to be Cindy Lauper when I grew up.

The first fight I ever got into was over who was gonna be Wonder Woman.


My brother pushing me while I was runnin' in the street and when I hit the concrete, I broke my arm....or should I say HE broke my arm.

Bustin' my ass tyrin' to do a wheelie on my bicycle and I flipped over on myself....my brother carried me all the way home.


Giving a boyfriend in middle school a necklace of hickeys at the arcade.....ew.

The second time I met J, he told me I had to break up with my boyfriend or he was gonna beat him up.....I dumped him that night.

The first time I met J I called him somethin' rude and he flipped me off.


Fishing on the dock at my Nana's in Florida and catching my line on a hornet's nest.....I got stung...a lot.


Cutting my own hair and tellin' my mom I had fallen asleep with gum in my mouth and it ended up in my hair....no seriously, mom....I just totally whacked up my hair, but I'm sure you knew that.....I've never been a very good liar.


Watching the Principal at my first high school blow her nose on a kleenex I just wiped my sweaty armpit on.

Gettin' busted smokin' at that same high school by Robocop and taken to the office. I said I wasn't smokin', the principal said she wanted to smell my fingers. I giggled, held two fingers out and said "really? you wanna smell my fingers? Go ahead" She told me to get out of her her office.


Being terrified that the swamp thing was gonna come and get me and take me back to his swamp.


I went to a show that a boy I was seeing was playing and had to lie to get there. I wasn't allowed to do shit.....about an hour into the show, my Mom and Stepdad showed up in matching tiedyed neon "I've been to the Bahama's" shirts. BUSTED. I thought I had died it was so embarrassing.


Gettin' someone else's blood on me once and thinking "oh my god...I'm probably gonna have AIDS now." ....I was seriously scared. Everything turned out just fine.



Having horse shit fights when I was younger. I'd totally do it again.

Wishing I could fit in when I was 10, and realizing that I never would by the time I was 12.


The first (and last) time I smoked pot out of a bong, I blew into it.......how else was I gonna make it bubble up like everyone else was? What a mess that ended up being.

J throwing up out the window of my car once (about 14 years ago) when I was driving and it gettin' all over the side of my car. When we got home I filled a pot with scalding hot water and dumped it on him as he hung out of the car window passed out. I TOLD him he better not puke. He did.


Talkin' a Fred Perry sweater of some mexican chick at a thrift store. She was wearing it. I wanted it. She didn't speak english. I told her my brother's birthday was two days away and he would love the sweater. I gave her two bucks for it. I sold it on ebay for 50 somethin'. I hadn't realized until that day how much high school spanish would come in hand.


I know I remember more awesome things....they'll just come to me later.

Comments

Stitchblade said…
I can totally vouch for the sweater thing, though it was way more funny than you put it here.

Popular posts from this blog

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...