Saturday, January 24, 2009

Random Things I Remember

My memory blows. Bad. I hate it. I figure when I'm old (and if I can remember how to work a computer) I'll come back here and reminisce over all the randome things I remember......

At my first elementary school, left handed kids were segregated from the rest of the class like there was something wrong with them.

I wanted to be Cindy Lauper when I grew up.

The first fight I ever got into was over who was gonna be Wonder Woman.

My brother pushing me while I was runnin' in the street and when I hit the concrete, I broke my arm....or should I say HE broke my arm.

Bustin' my ass tyrin' to do a wheelie on my bicycle and I flipped over on brother carried me all the way home.

Giving a boyfriend in middle school a necklace of hickeys at the arcade.....ew.

The second time I met J, he told me I had to break up with my boyfriend or he was gonna beat him up.....I dumped him that night.

The first time I met J I called him somethin' rude and he flipped me off.

Fishing on the dock at my Nana's in Florida and catching my line on a hornet's nest.....I got stung...a lot.

Cutting my own hair and tellin' my mom I had fallen asleep with gum in my mouth and it ended up in my seriously, mom....I just totally whacked up my hair, but I'm sure you knew that.....I've never been a very good liar.

Watching the Principal at my first high school blow her nose on a kleenex I just wiped my sweaty armpit on.

Gettin' busted smokin' at that same high school by Robocop and taken to the office. I said I wasn't smokin', the principal said she wanted to smell my fingers. I giggled, held two fingers out and said "really? you wanna smell my fingers? Go ahead" She told me to get out of her her office.

Being terrified that the swamp thing was gonna come and get me and take me back to his swamp.

I went to a show that a boy I was seeing was playing and had to lie to get there. I wasn't allowed to do shit.....about an hour into the show, my Mom and Stepdad showed up in matching tiedyed neon "I've been to the Bahama's" shirts. BUSTED. I thought I had died it was so embarrassing.

Gettin' someone else's blood on me once and thinking "oh my god...I'm probably gonna have AIDS now." ....I was seriously scared. Everything turned out just fine.

Having horse shit fights when I was younger. I'd totally do it again.

Wishing I could fit in when I was 10, and realizing that I never would by the time I was 12.

The first (and last) time I smoked pot out of a bong, I blew into else was I gonna make it bubble up like everyone else was? What a mess that ended up being.

J throwing up out the window of my car once (about 14 years ago) when I was driving and it gettin' all over the side of my car. When we got home I filled a pot with scalding hot water and dumped it on him as he hung out of the car window passed out. I TOLD him he better not puke. He did.

Talkin' a Fred Perry sweater of some mexican chick at a thrift store. She was wearing it. I wanted it. She didn't speak english. I told her my brother's birthday was two days away and he would love the sweater. I gave her two bucks for it. I sold it on ebay for 50 somethin'. I hadn't realized until that day how much high school spanish would come in hand.

I know I remember more awesome things....they'll just come to me later.


Stitchblade said...

I can totally vouch for the sweater thing, though it was way more funny than you put it here.

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