Skip to main content

Inauguration Celebration!

I got so much crap from so many people for not voting. Well, guess what? I DIDN'T VOTE! HA! HA! Nope, didn't vote. Call it ignorant, call it lazy, call it whatever you want, I didn't vote. Both candidates had wonky ass ideas that totally didn't jive with me and I don't exactly have a great track record with this whole voting thing anyhow. It's like a 50/50 toss up for who will suck less in the end, for who will leave us less damaged when they're done with us. For instance, I voted for Bush the first time around and WOW, look at how awesome THAT turned out to be. I don't ever wanna feel even partially responsible for that kinda train wreck again.


So, to make up for the fact that I didn't vote, we're gonna have our very own inauguration celebration dinner tonight to celebrate our first black president. That should get me some kinda brownie points, right?

We've got the menu all planned out and it's gonna be DE-LICIOUS. We're gonna have fried chicken, collards, homemade macaroni and cheese, coleslaw, cornbread and grape koolaid.

Now, before anybody decides to go and get all holier than thou sayin' what ignorant bigots we are, let me just say......shoosh yo mouth. This is a truly historical day for the afro (I know all about afros, and I totally sympathize!) american community and I wanna be a part. My skin ain't black but dammit, my soul is. The drunker I get the more the real me comes out and the real me is an old sassy black lady named Fannie. So, yeah, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

I also put research in for this dinner....Google soul food, see what comes up. Plus, the two most powerful black women in America (Oprah and Beyonce......duh) say their favorite food is fried chicken. THEN, there was the episode of Flavor of Love where Flavor Flave made the girls cook fried chicken from his mama's recipe and the one with the best chicken won a date with him. So, yeah, totally not bein' ignorant. It is what it is and I just wanna be a part of a celebration that's all.

Even though I didn't vote, I am ever so grateful that Obama won if only for the sake of tonight's dinner. If McCain would've been the one, dinner would've totally sucked ass seein' as how he's a geriatric robot and what the hell do geriatric robots eat anyways? We'd have to have dinner no later than 4 o'clock this afternoon (so we could all be in bed by 7:30) and it would've consisted of liver and onions, mashed potatoes, prunes and Metamucil. Could you imagine trying to get kids to choke that mess down. Blech...

I'll end with a short note to our new President.

Dear Mr. President Obama,

Please don't fuck it all up even worse than it already is. You got a lot of people watchin' you with a lot of high expectations. I understand that you're a black man, but you're also half white so please don't forget about us white people, our ancestors struggled too. My grandmother will tell you just like she's told many a other afro-americans "I picked my own damn cotton"...and she ain't even kiddin'. That woman picked cotton till her fingers blead, just like some of your ancestors, so please, Mr. President Obama, don't forget about us white people and don't fuck it all up even worse.

Sincerely,
Jessica H.

Comments

Anonymous said…
You are an absolute idiot.
Anonymous said…
I think your are hillarious! Your blog has made my day on more than one occassion. It takes balls to write some of the things you do and although I may not agree with all of it, I respect your opinions and your view of the world is one I envy.

It's a shame when people take themselves too seriously and can't see the humor in what you write.

You are funny as hell!

Popular posts from this blog

June 28 - I Heart Faces Pet Entry

I know, I know....it's be FOREVER since I last posted, but life has majorly gotten in the way. Lots and lots of ups and downs....well mostly downs, but who am I to complain? ....and I'm totally not about to be a Debbie Downer and start whinin '..... that'll come later...I promise.....I'm doin ' this here post ' cuz I wanna have an awesome picture of our ol ' Wheezy Lee and Vin to be posted on the I Heart Faces Blog . It's my first time and Lord knows I probably ain't gonna get it right the first 1,600 times I try, but I'm gonna give it a go anyhow. Despite life totally suckin ' these days, I do have a constant source of entertainment....when she's not being a total crappin ' machine that is..... I introduced Wheezy Lee to y'all a while back and she's been growin ' like mad. To catch you up on everything you've missed, she hates swimmin ' despite my best efforts....she refuses to be crate trained.....she th

East Atlanta Strut 2010

I've been sewin' my fingers off tryin' to get ready for the East Atlanta Strut . It was the first show I had ever done and it was a BLAST! Bein' used to your standard kinda craft shows, you know the ones.....wood cut into silly stuff, marsh mellow guns, lace and potpourri, you can imagine my excitement when I was accepted to do the Strut, which ain't your mama's craft show. After three years, I've decided to give it a go again. I've really focused on my bears since that's what I really enjoy makin' and it's what everyone seemed to like best. You definitely won't find anything else like 'em out there! They're all sad lookin' and junk.....and people wanna hug 'em when they see 'em. I started sewin' these guys three years ago and after readin' an article in a magazine about a man that went to war, was burned badly while there and came home to his finance, married her and made babies with her despite all his s

Fluffidermy!

I would say 90% of my friends are into buyin' taxidermy. The stuff that lined the walls of my family's homes is more popular than ever! The difference bein' that my family shot that junk themselves and proudly displayed their trophies and ate the rest.... Seein' as how the closest I get to huntin' is huntin' the best deals possible on groceries and I can barely afford toilet paper these days taxidermy ain't gonna find itself to the already awesome walls of my house anytime soon. HOWEVER...... You know, I've been makin' my Battle Scrarred Bears again and in the midst of all the hubub over taxidermy, I decided to start puttin' their sweet little heads on plaques.....and voila!......my own dadgum taxidermy........FLUFFIDERMY!!! I've seen lots of other crafty made....uhhhh....idermy, and even proudly display feltidermy by girlsavage on one of my walls. Fluffidermy is my spin on the awesome that is stuffed craft ...idermy!.....and dammit....ev