Friday, January 23, 2009

Oh So Frustrating....Again

I have a husband who complains that he's all old and stuff and he totally ain't, a boy that forgets everything about everything, a girl that argues with me like she's 16.....and a totally retarded dog.

The husband. He's in his 30's. He's smokin' ass hot and built like a brick shit house....who even though he's put on like 30 lbs. since he was in his 20's, has gotten only slightly softer than he was 10 years ago. He's big and manly and awesome, but he says he feels old. He hurts all over all the time. His knees, his back, his...toe....whatever. He's in his 30's! Look, we all spent a little too much runnin' around with total wreckless abandonment, but we aren't geriatric yet. Hurting is a fact of gettin' older....and fatter. It's life. It happens to all of us. You're a sexy mother fucker, so shoosh are not old. I wish I could convince you......It's so frustrating.

The boy. I feel like if I don't hold his hands, he ain't gonna make it. I used to help him with his homework every night, study with him every night, obsessively keep in contact with his teachers all the time.....but last year I decided is was time to wean him. Let him step out into the big ol' world on his own and I'd just hang back in the shadows and help when I was asked to. I did it gradually so it wasn't a bickety bam all at once type thing. Well, it ain't workin'. I always find out about things a day too late or just the day before. For instance.....he has a band concert on a Wednesday, but neglects to tell me about it until the Tuesday before AND he was given a form to order a shirt for said concert back in NOVEMBER, but neglected to give it to me. I'm forever looking at his teacher's blogs so I can kinda keep up, but seriously, who thinks to look at the band teacher's blog? It's so FRUSTRATING!

The girl. The child is a.....CHILD. She ain't a teenager. She has a mouth like a teenager and sometimes I'd like to whack it....but she's a child. This isn't supposed to happen yet. She's not supposed to be all sass mouthy and shit. Sometimes she just needs to shut up, quit arguing. Quit bein' all sassy. Change that tone up a bit before I hang your ass upside down off the freakin' deck and dump honey on you so the bugs eat your ass up. For the love of's totally FRUSTRATING.

Last but not least.....our retarded mama dog. She's now full blown retarded and god didn't intend for me to take care of anything retarded. Bless her heart. Bless my heart! I'm doin' the best that I can, but it's not easy havin' a dog who doesn't realize if your standin' in the corner all you gotta do is back out of it; a dog who gets in between your back and the toilet lid while your sittin' on the toilet; a dog who can't figure out how to get up the stairs to save her life even though your holdin' on to her harness helpin' her up; a dog who has no idea who she is or who we are; a dog who drinks water and forgets how to swallow it all so the shit oozes outta her mouth in big long droolage; a dog who walks in circles and don't know why.....circles, circles, circles. You have to make her stop, but then she's right back at it....even in her crate at night. It's gotta drive her crazy, I know it drives me crazy.....totally and completely helpless....and oh so frustrating. I wish I could make her better.

I was meant to be in control, but am learning that I can't control everything and I just might be losing my mind.


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