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Frozen Dairy Dessert vs. Ice Cream....Either Way Tina Ain't Havin' It

Our friend Chewy came over for dinner last night and brought with her some ice cream so we could have ice cream sundaes afterwards. When she took the "ice cream" carton outta the bag, I saw that it said "frozen dairy dessert".

I don't get it. I'm just not real clear on why they can't just call the ice cream, "ice cream". Is there some sorta copyright infringement issues? Like Bryers and Edy's and Ben & Jerrys and Haagan Dazs and.....I could go on and on......are the non-generic brands of ice cream the only ones that can call their ice cream, "ice cream"?

I'm so confused.....and so retarded....I've spent and am still spending entirely too much time ponderin' this.

When Chewy opened the carton I looked at it and said "where the hell's all the little black specks?"......she said "this shit ain't vanilla bean ice's frozen dairy dessert".....

I'll admit....I was a little apprehensive about tryin' the frozen dairy dessert. I figured it'd taste like ass since they didn't even feel comfortable enough with their product to call it "ice cream". It was actually pretty good though! It tasted pretty similar to Dairy Queen soft serve to me.

In all seriousness though.....if it looks like ice cream and tastes like ice cream WHY IN THE HELL CAN'T THEY JUST CALL IT ICE CREAM? I think I might have to write a letter to someone about this before it drives me to takin' a sharpie marker to the ice cream aisle at the grocery store and changin' all that shit to say ice cream.

After devouring my frozen dairy dessert, I went back to the kitchen and saw Tina hoverin' over the carton. Tina's lactose intolerant so I was a little confused, but upon further inspection, if you look close enough to her baby wolf cat's top lip, you can see that she'd gotten into into the frozen dairy dessert. Well that or she has rabies and was frothin' at the mouth.


Ally said…
Great. Now I want ice cream.
Of course you peeked my curiosity and I had to research this. here it is...

Real Scoop on Ice Cream

Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
That's a lot of great information Ally, but it still doesn't answer the question "If it looks like ice cream and it tastes like ice cream, why can't they just call it ice cream".

Well, it could've answered that question, but I have ADD and tend to miss 75% of the things I read.

Thanks for the link!
You and that damn critter...too funny!
Anonymous said…
I know this is old, but I found it via Google. If you really want to know, they can't call it ice cream because it's illegal: under US law, ice cream has to have cream in it, but a lot of companies have cheapened their products and taken it out. Hence, frozen dairy dessert.
Anonymous said…
<3 frozen dairy dessert the chocolate one at least....
paul rose

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