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A Man of Many Hats

I do my best to torture Jeremy on a daily basis. Like show him who's boss and stuff (psht, right). Ewww.....Talkin' about showin' somebody who's boss....have any of y'all read The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty books? Sweet lord o-mighty.......don't. That is unless you're into severe slave and master type shit. Readin' it's almost like reading about non-stop rape. Man rape, woman rape,.....it's all there and so very wrong. It's been really hard to get through the books. I knew goin' in it was non-stop.......for a lack of a better word......bonin' in and S&M sorta way. I just had no idea the extent of the S&M. It's just WAY too much for me. I can handle a little hair pullin' and a little smack on the ass, but not.....ugh....I can't even write about it......it's just too much. I'm determined to make my way through all three books though no matter how many times I have to put it down and walk away.

Anyhow.....

This is my last of the pictures from mine and Jeremy's 4 hour excursion at the Big Shanty Antique Mall....and yes, I made Jeremy put on hats. It wasn't without eyeball rollin' and him givin' me the crazy eyes though.

One of the hats was a shriner hat and who doesn't wanna be a shriner? I mean there's a secret hand shake I'm sure....and probably a secret tunnel somewhere too. Then....THEN, there's those little minicars they drive around in parades and stuff.....

The hat is half way there to all the gloriousness that is being a shriner.

There were several of these little yamakas. Ok, so they're not yamakas, but they were funny as shit and I wanna call 'em yamakas. Just look at that face.......he hated me.

I've saved the best hat for last. It was also, in my opinion, the BEST gift at our Christmas Ain't Over Yet Bitches party. I can just picture. Jeremy in some fancy band uniform. Marchin' around blowin' hard on a tuba, cheeks all puffed out.....AHAHAHAHAAA. I loved this hat. I wish I still had it.

Oh wait.....there was also this hat. I call it Tangerine Vagina. Just look at the beast that it is...but....how did I NOT see that hat that's behind me there on the right? Holy god. It's like a puffalump safari hat and who doesn't love puffalump safari hats?!?!? I'll have to try it on next time we go.

Comments

Ally said…
1. I love how thrilled he looks - my husband would never let me snap those pix - you've got a good man there.
2. I can't believe he shopped with you for FOUR hours - again a good man you've got there.
3. I totally forgot my sound was on and jumped out of my skin when the radio on your page boomed Sevendust. Ha ha!

Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
Cooking Asshole said…
Looks like georgia o'keefe designed that hat you are wearing.
Ally.....he was NOT happy about the hats! I'm not sure how I convinced him to wear them, but it probably involved nookie.....and as far as the shopping goes the antique mall is an exception, because there is just SO MUCH awesomeness!
Cooking Asshole...I'd say that hat probably looks her vagina.....ewww....bad visual there....sorry bout that.
Anonymous said…
i was having a shitty day and thought reading you blog would cheer me up.. and it did.. Tangerine Vagina.. thank you! i needed that :)

courtney.. blchblndpsycho
I'm always here for ya Courtney!

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