Skip to main content

My Imagination is Gettin' Outta Hand

Every few months at work I have to take the mail down to the mailroom in the afternoon. On the way there, I have to walk down this really LOOONG, quiet, clean smellin' hallway. Its silence is deafening.




As I mozy down this hall, I imagine that I am in a huge high rise building and just outside is the noisy hustle and bustle of New York City. Yeah, I imagine this EVERYDAY.

It gets even more ridiculous than that though....

I have to take the freight elevator down to the mail room. Access to the elevator is behind a non conspicuous door and behind that non conspicuous door is a little room where you wait for the elevator. Normally, I have to stand in this tiny little room for a few minutes waiting for the elevator to come up. While I'm waiting, I think about how much it would cost to rent a room that size in New York City and if I could manage living in a space that small. According to Ikea you can functionally live in any sized space if you just shop at their store, so I've decided I totally could with the help of Ikea. (That is of course in a complete alternate reality of my life actually is or ever would be).

As I stand in that little room and wait for the elevator, I think of where my bed would be. I could fit a chair and a little table and there's even enough room for a sink and toilet as long as you don't mind spinning around to get to the bathroom opposed to walking to it. There would definitely be no room for a kitchen, but I am in New York City after all and where else in the world is there better food?

I am retarded over New York. RETARDED I tell you. OBSESSED.

.....I wrote this several weeks back. It's pretty lame, but there's a lot of lame shit that I write and never actually post. Plus, since I wrote this my New York fantasies have slacked a little because there's ALWAYS somebody walkin' down that long hall. ALWAYS! How the hell am I supposed to pretend I'm in New York when I got some Kennesaw Claw havin', white pump wearin' chick walkin' behind me whistlin' Dixie????

Yeah, well....nonetheless, thought I would come back to this one though because today when I took the mail, and I was standing in that little room waiting on the elvator I saw a cheeto on the floor. I thought "Awww hell no....somebody's all trashin' up my tiny little New York apartment". I mean really, how the hell do you drop a cheeto and not pick it up?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...