10 Things I Hate A Lot Part Deux

I hate it when people beat around the bush. You got somethin' to say, just say it already. If you're gonna beat around the bush, I'm gonna play stupid and pretend I have no clue what you're talkin' about. Life's too short to play guessing games. It's like I tell my kids, you can't bullshit a bullshitter.....spit it out.

I hate slow drivers. Holy shit. The get it lane ain't the place to be doin' 55. If you look in your mirror and you can't see my head lights....it's because I'm on your ass. GET OVER!

I hate it when I get on an elevator and my stomach starts doin' flippdydoos....I got gas. You know. You're sittin' there all crampy and you think "I'll just let it slip"....then the elevator stops to let someone else on. That sucks. I'm tired of having gas all the time.

I hate it that I gotta pull a chunk of my hair outta the drain in the shower everytime I wash it. That shit is NASTY. Some of it always hangs part way down the drain and reaches out to it's lost hair brothers and sisters and cousins so they can make more hair babies so when I pull it up, I also pull up some hair that's been down there for weeks collecting all kindsa crap. Uhh...I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I hate looking for pictures on flickr to include in my blog and somehow coming across one of myself where I was skinny for a minute (came across this one when I was looking for a picture of a rearview mirror....weird). Yes, I do love buns. Especially J's. You should see his ass.....freakin' awesome I tell ya....he's got a BIG OL' ASS!!!...and I have none.....another thing I hate....ugh.

I hate razor burn. HATE IT. Especially during the summer. I'm about the hottest most sweatinest person ever so razor burn blows. I must get some of this......It works for reals.

I hate people that think smokers are criminals. Really? They smoke yo. That shit ain't illegal so shut your mouth about it already. Why you gotta be all eyeballin' somebody when you walk into a bar and on the way in you gotta walk through a cloud of smoke. You're the reason they're smoking outside on the sidewalk! SHUT UP! Find something else to bitch about. Enough is enough already! Gah.

I hate it when flowers I plant up and die for no reason at all. Plenty of water, plenty of sun, still they die. I spent time and money trying to find just the right flowers. I'm all "hey, little flowers....who wants to go home with me today"?.....and I spend the next hour walking around saying that to all kinds of flowers. I painstakingly pick them out.....then they die.

Even though they cause me endless amounts of entertainment, I hate fake ass people. Why be fake? Everybody can see through that shit yo and you just end up embarrassin' yerself.

I hate that my car speakers don't have enough bass. When I wanna dance and I just ain't feelin' it, there's a problem. BASS! I need more BASS!!!!

The end.

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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