Skip to main content

The Fear

This morning I needed to make a dentist appointment for the girl to have a cavity taken care of. I got all sweaty and nervous hoping that the lady who answered wouldn't say "would you also like to make an appointment to have your teeth cleaned? You know you cancelled your last appointment"....and.....she did. I screamed out "HELL NO!", y'all got that crazy bitch that tortured my mouth for a freakin hour last time I was there and as long as she's there, I ain't EVER havin' my teeth cleaned again!





Yeah, no....I didn't say that, but I sure as shit thought it. I have NEVER had dentist issues until the last time I had my teeth cleaned. That chick wreaked freakin' havoc inside my mouth. I don't know if she was pissed off at her boyfriend and decided to take it out on my mouth or if she was some whack job that got off on hurtin' people with red hair's mouths, but I'll be damned if I'm goin' back.


I seriously would rather go to the freakin' gynecologist. Even with all the pre-planning crap you gotta go through to get ready for that one......no sex for a couple days before hand (and it's inevitable that your man's gonna try to get all hot and bothered with you the night before).....you really don't want the person all rootin' around down there to think you're a total whore....and they totally would. You gotta make the appointment early in the day so you can go right after you've showered so you're all Irish Springy.



Don't even try to make the appointment mid-day and think you can go into work then cut out early. Even if you think you got a nice slow day of sittin' at the office, you are wrong! It's inevitable that your boss will ask you to move like 64 boxes of files down to the file room and the air will quit working in the office so by the time you make it to your appointment, you've totally got swamp vag and no amount of airing out will fix it....you gotta shower again. Like I said, just make that appointment first thing.


I mean really, I'd rather let this person have a look than EVER have my teeth cleaned by that sadist of a teeth cleaner again!

Comments

Lori said…
How do you really feel?
Tiffany said…
I guess that could possibly be worse than the stand in dental assistant that kept walking to the bathroom during my cleaning and continued to explain to me that she just started her period!! Eww!! Get your hands out of my mouth!!

Popular posts from this blog

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...