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The Fear

This morning I needed to make a dentist appointment for the girl to have a cavity taken care of. I got all sweaty and nervous hoping that the lady who answered wouldn't say "would you also like to make an appointment to have your teeth cleaned? You know you cancelled your last appointment"....and.....she did. I screamed out "HELL NO!", y'all got that crazy bitch that tortured my mouth for a freakin hour last time I was there and as long as she's there, I ain't EVER havin' my teeth cleaned again!

Yeah, no....I didn't say that, but I sure as shit thought it. I have NEVER had dentist issues until the last time I had my teeth cleaned. That chick wreaked freakin' havoc inside my mouth. I don't know if she was pissed off at her boyfriend and decided to take it out on my mouth or if she was some whack job that got off on hurtin' people with red hair's mouths, but I'll be damned if I'm goin' back.

I seriously would rather go to the freakin' gynecologist. Even with all the pre-planning crap you gotta go through to get ready for that sex for a couple days before hand (and it's inevitable that your man's gonna try to get all hot and bothered with you the night before) really don't want the person all rootin' around down there to think you're a total whore....and they totally would. You gotta make the appointment early in the day so you can go right after you've showered so you're all Irish Springy.

Don't even try to make the appointment mid-day and think you can go into work then cut out early. Even if you think you got a nice slow day of sittin' at the office, you are wrong! It's inevitable that your boss will ask you to move like 64 boxes of files down to the file room and the air will quit working in the office so by the time you make it to your appointment, you've totally got swamp vag and no amount of airing out will fix gotta shower again. Like I said, just make that appointment first thing.

I mean really, I'd rather let this person have a look than EVER have my teeth cleaned by that sadist of a teeth cleaner again!


Lori said…
How do you really feel?
Tiffany said…
I guess that could possibly be worse than the stand in dental assistant that kept walking to the bathroom during my cleaning and continued to explain to me that she just started her period!! Eww!! Get your hands out of my mouth!!

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