'Cuz I Felt Like It!

I'm not sure what it is.....Fall's in the air and I can feel it and I guess I always tend to get all happy go lucky and shit when that time of the year comes back around. It's so foreign to me, this feeling of complete and total ease. It'll only last for a day or two though....if that. I tend to really slow down. I take time to "smell the roses" and I always reflect on memories that make me super happy. There's just something about cool overcast weather that brings out that part of me. On the way to work this morning, I listened to nice calm music and just thought about all kindsa happy memories. Things that I'll always look back on and smile. I thought about so many random things this morning and it's just totally made my day. I remember the days of cleanin' houses and then pickin' up the boy from pre-k by 2:30. We'd go home and watch Barney together for hours. I hated Barney, I hated all the kids, I hated all the stupid songs, but si...

Today started out decent enough. I had a damn good breakfast for a change and good food after all makes EVERYTHING better......that's until you get to work and have your ass handed to you anyways. Oh well, the past two days have sucked ass why not today too? Monday, the man was pitchin' a fit bein' all grumpy and shit because he couldn't find somethin' he needed for his bike. I'm mean like seriously, it ruined his whole night. He wasn't talkin' to anybody, he wasn't lookin' at anybody and if he was talked to you'd got a short snippy response if any response at all. That of course tends to affect everyone in the house (well except for the boy, because he never comes outta his room). If Daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody gonna be happy. So my great mood on Monday was flushed down the toilet.....and Monday really had been a good day. Tuesday was no better. It was my turn to be in a bad mood. I ain't about havin' someone treat me lik...

Anyone that knows me knows that the Detroit Cobras is my favoritist band.....Despite the fact that the last two times I saw them the were only ok, and the last time I saw them, the drummer was a total fuckin' dick. I shoulda punched him in the nuts, but I just had a shot of whiskey instead. They need to get their shit together and quit lookin' like they'd rather be at home watchin' Jeopardy. They'll be playin' the Drive Invasion this year so I'm SUPER stoked. Next is Clutch. There is absolutely no better band to listen to while you're in the garage workin' on a car....Absolutely none. This band get me all tingly inside. Seriously.....tingly. The Flat Tires god damn get down honky tonkin' rock n' roll. I ain't so much a fan of Psychobilly, but Tombstone Brawlers are insane awesome. It's the kinda music you crank up while you're drivin' around with all your windows down. Good shit I tell ya, good shit. Last but not least, is Ro...

Friday night my friend Meme and I went to the Big Shanty Antique Mall because we were doin' nothin' else but sittin' around with our thumbs up our asses....and not in a fun kinky sorta way either. Lucky for us, they were open 'til 9:00 so we had plenty of time to walk around.....and trust me you need it at this place. It's freakin' HUGE (like your mom's butt). As crazy at it may sound, I left my house without a camera. I know, I know, but luckily I had my phone, because there was just way too much awesomeness in this place that I needed to share...... Behold the mama wolfcat and her cub. This bitch (seriously, she is) had nipples. Real live nipples. Ok, so they weren't real live, but they were real lively to play with. I know, I know.....baby animals died to put the fur on this sweetass wolfcat, but I still want it. At $39.99 though, it'll have to stay right where it's at for now. "What in the hell is that?" you may be thinking. Well, I...

On the way to work this morning, I drove past a yard full of mini-donkeys. Poor little mini-donkeys....don't fit in with the horses, because not only are they donkeys, but they're MINI -donkeys and they don't fit in with the big donkeys either, because, well....they're.....mini. In my sinus medication induced haze, I pondered this for some time. Somewhere deep within my thoughts about these mini-donkeys, I thought about a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. We'll call him "Dan", because Dan's the man. Dan's a glass half empty kinda guy and I think that's totally fuckin' lame. It's like I've told Dan before, "You only get one life, live it up mother fucker!", but Dan just whines. In our conversation yesterday he said something about not changin' who he is to blah, blah, blah.....whatever. I agreed. No, you shouldn't have to change who you are to get along with people or have friends. If people don't like...

In cleaning up all my email folders, I came across a lovely little story I wrote about my car for a hot rod zine sometime last year. Since I have absolutely nothin' else to write about right now, I thought I'd share..... Me and My Comet, It’s Pretty Much a Love Affair My first car was a red, two door 1962 Comet. My Grandparents bought it for me when I was 17 and when they told me they had bought me a Comet I thought I was gonna die. All I could think of was those hideous cars that looked like retarded miniature Camaros. Who was I to complain though? It was a car right? As long as it got me from point A to point B, I would never complain. That car was such a nightmare for me at first! I literally had to learn how to drive it. I had to feather the gas all the time or it would die. I had to stand on the brakes with both feet just to get it to stop and when it did stop, smoke would billow out from underneath the hood. Then there was the vacuum controlled windshield wipers. The fast...

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

On my way into work this morning I saw a man, an obviously homeless man, walkin' down the street. I was stopped at a light so I watched him as he walked by. Where had this dude's life gone so horribly wrong that he doesn't have a place to hang his hat? A place to wash all his bits? In general, homeless people piss me off, but when I see an old dude who's hasn't had a clean shave or even a bath in lord knows how long, I kinda feel bad for him. Where did this man's pride go or is it his pride that's kept him on the streets? I dunno. I can't say I feel the same for homeless women though. Old ladies just creep me out. It stems back to when I was in 3rd grade, and I've never gotten over it. My whole Brownie troop went to an old folks home on Valentine's Day to hand out these little felt hearts we had sewn. My little 3rd grade self went walkin' up to an old lady in a wheelchair to hand her my heart. She yanked that shit outta my little 3rd grade ha...

Like a snap, Summer's gone and the kids have headed back to school. Technically, summer ain't gone, (too damn bad because it's like 800 freakin' degrees outside) but for the kids it is. All those lazy days of gettin' up whenever the hell they want and loungin' at the pool all day are all but faded memories in their sweet little heads. The girl started 3rd grade today. Sweet baby jesus, I can't believe she's in third grade. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was pullin' boogers outta her nose for her...oh wait....that was just yesterday. Nevermind....it seems like it was just yesterday that I was wipin' poo off her hiney and now she's in THIRD grade. Dammit. What's even crazier???? The boy....the boy is about to be 14 freakin' years old! Do you know how old that makes me? Good gawd is he growin' and all becomin' a young man and stuff. Excuse me, I need a minute to compose myself. I remember the boy's first day of s...

Our Florida vacation was the first time we've ever been on a "family" vacation with friends. I can't say I'd do it again. It's not that we had a horrible time, but cooking and cleaning for 9 people alone was a chore. There just wasn't enough relaxin'. Us girls did a pretty damn fine job keepin' up with things while the boys pretty much sat on their asses and watched. I guess to expect anything more would have been foolish. Boys will be boys....at least until you kick 'em in the ass and tell 'em to straighten the hell up! The first day we were in Florida, we wasted no time gettin' to the beach. It was by far my most favoritest day. The kids were anxious to get in the water and after the drive and unloading the cars, we were ready for a drink or two. Nope, that ain't sweet tea. Ok, well maybe it is...sorta. As for me, I drank heaven from this cup all week long. Heaven I tell you. Some weird flavor of Crystal light and vodka. Up until...

Remember when you were a kid and how excited you were when you got to go to the beach? That shit all changes when your an adult! You gotta worry about car problems that pop up just before you're leaving (my check engine light came on two days before we left. My motor was misfiring at the 5th cylinder. Awesome. Luckily, it ended up being an easy fix), whether or not you'll have as much money as you need and whose gonna look after the animals while your gone. The kids though, all they can think about it is gettin' in the ocean. It's PRICELESS to see our kids actually having fun together. Opposed to the days when I come home and the boy has slammed the girl's fingers in his door because she's written "LOSER" on both her forearms and was dancing around him like John Travolta calling him a loser. On vacation everyone's happy (or supposed to be at least). Everyone gets along (mostly). There's no arguing (ok, so that's a total lie), the boy actua...

Before we left for Panama City, I checked out tripadvisor for the best rated restaurants in that area. Didn't know you could do that huh? Yes, yes you can so do it before you head outta town! Out of 383 restaurants that were rated, Hunt's Oyster Bar was #2 (#1 sounded a bit too fancy for me) and since I'm ALL about raw oysters, it was my grand plan to go. On Wednesday, all 9 of us piled in my 4Runner like a bunch of Mexicans because two out of our three cars were outta commission. Seriously. TWO OUTTA THREE cars took a shit on the way to Florida! It cost $319 to get one car fixed and the other...well, it woulda cost more than my first three cars combined just to get it fixed, so needless to say it didn't get fixed. Somethin' about the motor falling out, shittin' out, whatever....it was no bueno. After about a 30 minute ride, we get to Hunt's which was this little yellow building that already had an ass ton of people waiting outside. Since I had read a lot o...