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Strange How Things Work Out Sometimes

Over the weekend the kids went to Tennessee with their Grandparents. When I met them to pick the kids up, my Mom said the kids had a blast! They even got to go swimmin'.....by the nuclear power plant! Hmmm......okay (said in my best valley girl voice).




She said the green foamy stuff floatin' on the water's edge wasn't a problem at all. She said she knew for a fact it wasn't the kinda waste that could possibly be affecting the water surrounding the plant.....you know....the kinda waste that includes materials used in the nuclear fission process like, oh, I dunno.....spent uranium rods, which contain the highest level of toxins and radiation?!?!


Ok, I'm totally makin' all that shit up. My mom said it was all ok and I trust her judgment. She said they were at a place that had a sandy area by the water where people were fishing and there were a few picnic tables, too. She did tell me though that when she saw the sign that said "Toxic Water....Do Not Be Alarmed By Fish With Three Eyes", she figured any toxins that were in the water would just affect the fish since the sign said nothin' about humans havin' three eyes.

Ok, so I'm makin' up that part, too.

After my mom first told me where they went swimmin', I did say somethin' like "Oh GREAT! Now the kids are gonna start growin' a third eye Mom....way to go!".....and the girl looks at me and says, "whadda you mean?" So I told her that nuclear power plants released all sorts of toxic stuff into the water that makes people who swim in it grow third eyes on their foreheads. She stood there all squinty eyed lookin' at me like I was full of shit.....then she kinda rubbed her forehead and got in the car.

Fast forward to this mornin'.

I'm dead asleep when the girl comes in to wake me up and she's soundin' a little panicked. She says, "Mom. Wake up! Mooooommmm." I roll over, look at my alarm clock and tell her somebody better be dead...I got 7 minutes before I gotta get up. She starts cryin'. Oh sweet baby jesus. I half expected things to not go so smoothly this mornin' since it was the first day back to school after Spring Break....but cryin'?.....really?

I sit up and say, "what is it?" Through her tears and snot bubbles she says, "I-I-I have a bump on my head and it really, really hurts! I can't even stand to touch it it hurts so bad!" I reach over and feel the bump and say "it's just a zit honey".....more tears.....and "but it hurts SOOOOOO bad! So, So, So Bad!" So I put on my glasses and have a look. Sure 'nuff......it's a zit.....a big ol' whitehead....her very first one.....on her forehead.......the day after I told her she was probably gonna grow a third eye because her Grandparents let her swim in the water by the nuclear power plant.

Hmmm......is there a lesson to be learned here? If so, I ain't figured it out yet.

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