Thursday, April 29, 2010
Having meaningless chit chat with strangers. Like when you're stuck on an elevator and someone says something about the weather.....c'mon....I'd rather not have to talk to you.....and your cologne smells like ass....but I'd really like to have meaningless chitchat and not even think of it as "meaningless"....just think of it as a part of life.....right now though, it just irritates me.
Givin' a shit. When one of the kids or myself or Jeremy is sick or there's something crazy happenin' in our lives, co-workers and friends alike will ask how things are....I don't really ever ask. Is it because I don't wanna know? I don't care? I don't know. I can make myself ask the question, but I can't make myself even hear their answer. I'm not sayin' I'm like that with EVERYONE 100% of the time (I'm not totally cold, there are actually people I care about), but I'm like that with most everyone. I really hate that about myself.
Not biting my nails. I have short, fat, stubby boy hands with gnawed fingernails. That shit's gross.
Maintaining yard work. It seems like such a futile effort. Weeds are gonna grow in the flower beds faster than I can pull them and grass just doesn't wanna grow in the yard....and I don't wanna waste money on trying to make it grow either.
Keepin' my house clean. Some time ago, chances are if you called me, I was cleanin' somethin'. I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. Then I got a life and it slowed down....then I slowed down some more....then I pretty much quit.....ok so I didn't, but I don't do it like I should.
Being spontaneous. I like to always have a plan and always stick to that plan. I like to be on time everywhere I go and when I'm even a few minutes behind, I panic. The way I see it, spontaneity doesn't really work when you have kids and dogs that have to be taken care of, but other people who have one or the other or even both seem to be successful and just gettin' up and doin' somethin' without a plan. Why can't I?
Forgetting. I can forgive all day long, it's the forgettin' part I seem to have trouble with. I think if you forget certain things, you can find yourself at a fork in the road and you can accidentally take a road you've already been down before that you probably shouldn't go down again, but who knows......with the pace at which our world is changin', that path could be totally different......but I don't wanna find out the hard way that it's not.
Remembering. There are so many things I have done, said, seen or been a part of that I just can't remember. I can't remember pretty big milestones in both the kid's lives. Someone will say, "oh shit...remember when you blah, blah blah....that was funny as hell".....nope....don't remember, but it sounds like something I would do.
Pronunciation. I just can't say "going"....I gotta say "gonna". Even in an interview....I'm all white trash and sayin' shit like, "They're gonna let me continue to work until I find a new job". Gonna. Yep. How I type is pretty much how I talk. Sayin' going sounds retarded to me. It just ain't natural. I wish I could get over that so I didn't sound so white trash when I don't need to.
Stayin' focused. Prime example. I wrote "stayin' focused" like 10 minutes ago. Then I picked my nose, looked to see what kinda treasure I had and saw I had black sharpie all over my hands. So I went to the bathroom to wash the black off and decided I should braid my hair....and then I thought, I bet that big ass bobble head helmet I have would look better with braids instead of my fro pokin' out.....so I went and grabbed the helmet.....and then I saw the computer sittin' there and remembered I was writing here. See? I'm like a squirrel chasin' after shiny shit.
Saving money. I can't do it. I wanna do it, but then I think when I die, I can't take it with me......so I'll spend it now. I know I need to save....I just can't do it. Credit cards are satan....if I could just save for a few months, I could buy that part I need for my car without using a credit card.
Ending the things I write more smoothly. You see....when I'm done....I'm done.....and that ain't very good for someone who fancies herself a decent writer. There should be some sort of transition ya know?
Posted by 'Cuz I Felt Like It! at 9:47 AM
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Beans don't burn on the griiillll......
Yeah, that totally has nothin' to do with this post, but I woke up at like 6 o'clock Saturday mornin' (which is when I initially started writin' this, but my internet kept shittin' out on me!) and had that Sinead O'Connor song "Nothing Compares to You" stuck in my head. I laid in bed until just before 7 singin' the same shit over and over and over....
It's been seeevvven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away
I go out ever-ry night and sleep all daaa-ay Since you took your love away
Since you've been gone I can do whatever I waa-aaa-aaant
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaaa-aaa-aaaaurant, but nothin'....I said nothin' can take away these bluuuuuuuuuues
'Cuz nothin' compares Nothin' compares to yeeeeewwwwww.
That song was me and my first boyfriend's "song" and it's one of my all time favorite songs, but I didn't particularly wanna be singin' that song all day.....so I started singin' Beans don't fry in the kitchen, burns don't burn on the grilllll...took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hillllll......
.....and then I got outta bed and ate another pancake and bacon cupcake.
Two words.....HEA-VEN. More than you can possibly imagine. I've promised the recipe so here it is.....
You'll need to make sure you have the followin' stuff and if you ain't got it, you gotta get it:
Cupcake tin (this recipe makes 24 cupcakes)
1 pack of bacon
Box of Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Butter Recipe Yellow cake mix....which requires:
1/2 c. softened butter
2/3 c. water
2 Tblsp. softened butter
2 Tblsp. maple syrup (like Ain'tcha Mama....you don't need anything fancy)
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar
1. Lay out butter so it can come up to room temperature
2. Preheat oven according to box (depends on what kinda pan you use)
3. Put liners in cupcake tin
4. Cook bacon and once cooled, cut up into pieces
5. Mix cake according to the box and stir in 3/4 of the bacon
6. Bake according to box
While cupcakes are baking, make frosting:
1. In a medium sized bowl, beat butter (has to be room temp!) and maple sugar with mixer until well blended
2. Gradually add in the powdered sugar
It doesn't look like it makes much, but it's the PERFECT amount for 24 cupcakes!
Once cupcakes have finished baking, pull them out and let them cool COMPLETELY on a cooling rack prior to frosting.
Once they've TOTALLY cooled, frost them bad boys and top with bacon sprinkles....yes....I said bacon sprinkles!
Now, go do it and try not to eat at least a half dozen of 'em at once!
...and just so's ya know, you go to to Publix and buy their cupcake holders for like .50 a piece. Other store may do it to, but I know Publix does.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I made these Friday night.....
......Pancake and bacon cupcakes......with maple frosting. Oh. My. Gah. HEA-VEN. They were a pretty big hit for anybody that was brave enough to try 'em. Addictive actually. Lots and lots of people asked me for the recipe. I spent way to much time writin' it all out to post here and my internet took a shit TWICE....and didn't save it......so I have to write it a third danged time. I'll get around to it this week....swear.
So, in the meantime.....this is what's been happenin' in our lives.....
This little lady was one of two Italian Greyhounds that stayed at our house when me and a couple of my girlfriends had a slumber party.
These dogs are the sweetest, preciousest dogs like ever. I never knew such sugary sweetness existed in dogs.....
.....especially compared to this devil who is only sugary sweet when she's sacked the fuck out........
......is what Jeremy did to our one of our cats. He's so fat he can't even jump up on our bed. He has to jump half way up and claw his way up the rest of the way. His spit smells like ass too. Like if you start pettin' him, he drools and if you get it on your hand, it smells so bad you puke when you smell it hours later.
I bought myself.....uh hmmmm......the girl....this over the weekend.....
These are some other treasures I got this weekend......
I love treasures. It was a fun day. Yep....
Until this happened......
See that ginormous lump on my forehead? It's a mosquito bite. It was huge and rubbery feelin'....everybody pointed and laughed....I kept my hand on my forehead for like 42 minutes so nobody would stare.....it didn't work......
Oh! I forgot....I got a job! YESSSSSSSS!!! Closer to home......all kindsa awesome benefits.....it's the kinda job you stay with FOREVER and retire from.....and I'll be makin' WAY less money. Hey....it's a job. I'm lucky to have gotten one.....thank you sweet baby jesus. Amen.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I don't even know where to begin here.
Should I start with the part about the lump?
Should I start with the word congratulations?
Should I start with the part about gay sex?
Sweet Jesus help me.
I remember when I was in 4th grade I took a gymnastics class offered by my school. I loved the thought of all the twistin' and turnin' and flippin'.....and Mary Lou Retton made it all look so effortless. Turns out though, the closest to Mary Lou Retton I'd ever be was the black, purple, blue and white leotard I wore that had her name on the tag.
I can see that leotard as clear as if I still had it today......and with my memory, that's a pretty big accomplishment. I remember it because I dreaded havin' to put that damn thing on. DREADED IT. All the color was on the upper half and the bottom half was white. I can remember thinkin'.....I hope nobody can see my hairs pokin' outta this thing.
You know....those hairs that're....... down yonder. I was MORTIFIED by those hairs. It's all I'd think about when I was wearin' my leotard. Now I know that nobody coulda seen a thing, but I knew they were there and I was very uncomfortable and unsure about that and all that came with goin' through puberty.
I mean, who knows.....I coulda been the next Mary Lou Retton if I'd not been so worried about people seein' THOSE hairs.......
The girl came home from school the other day with a lump in one of her breasts (can you even call them that at this point?) . She said somebody had elbowed her when they were playin' and that's when she noticed it. It was tender and it was definitely a lump.
I called her doctor and had to leave a message. A few hours later, my phone rings, I answer it, and the doctor says, "Congratulations you have a girl that's starting puberty."
I'm sorry.....do what now??? No.
No, wait that's not all. I just needed a moment.
After I came to grips with it all and figured that even if I stuffed her in a closet and slid a tray of food under the door a couple times a day, I couldn't stop this. I've been preppin' her for this already, because I don't want her to ever feel self conscience like I did.
I'm just.....not ready for a girl goin' through puberty. With the boy, it didn't phase me so much (well except maybe that time I walked in the bathroom and saw that he had sprouted a garden down yonder.....I hadn't expected THAT.....I'm sorry, I still can't talk about it).
When I got off the phone with the doctor, I called the girl into the kitchen and told her she didn't have breast cancer (the first thing outta her mouth when she told me, but she said she knew she was too young for that), she was just startin' puberty. She says "yeah that's what I figured...so I'm gonna start growin' boobs now right?"
So then I say "well, at least I've already gotten the "talk" outta the way."
She says, "the talk?"
....."yeah, THE talk....you know".....and then she gets it.
Then she says......"about that"......
......."I've been meanin' to ask you".........
......."You know gay people? Do they do it too?"
I always, always, ALWAYS want her to feel comfortable askin' me anything and everything.....and to accomplish that, I feel like I need to never show the "holy fuck, I think I'm about to puke" feelings that these kinda questions evoke in me.
I close my eyes.
Take a deep breath......
....and turn to look at her.
She's just standin' there lookin' at me all, "well, you gonna answer me?"
I turn back to cleanin' out the microwave and say, "yes honey.......all adults who are in a committed relationship and love each other VERY, VERY, VERY much can have sex."
She says....."even gay people??? How?"
Flashes of destroying a young innocent mind flash through my head.
I ain't about to paint THAT picture for her.
I settle on sayin' "just like everybody else.....they figure it out.....not stop askin' me questions....you got a sore throat don't you......go sit down and be quiet for a while."
I'm so glad the boy keeps to himself with these sorta things. Even though I try to get stuff out of him, and tell him all the same things about how I want him to feel comfortable about askin' me ANYTHING, he never asks THOSE kinda questions. The worst I got from him was, "Mom, how old were you when you first had sex?"
That threw me for a loop, but I feel more comfortable answering his questions than I am the girl's.......it's the whole double standard thing between raisin' boys and girls.
The boy, as soon as I think he's thinkin' about doin' it (ok, I know he's already thinkin' about it....how about thinkin' about actin' on the thought), I'm gonna hand him a box a rubbers and tell him all the nasty shit that can happen to him if he doesn't wear one.
The girl on the other hand.....dammit.......
I can't even think about it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Moo Mini Cards are my favorite business cards ever! They're these little mini business cards that you can put your own photo or image on (up to 100 different images per order!).... and you can even put an image on the back with all your contact info too. They're not the best priced business cards out there ($19.99 for a box of 100), but they're ridiculously cute and people definitely take notice of them when you hand them one......and right now, you can get 50 free cards!
I've totally slacked on makin' things lately, but with all the time off I'm probably about to have, I figured it'd be a good time to start makin' my bears again. I may even do a show or two over the Summer....who knows what the future holds. Either way, I need new business cards and there's not a better time to get some then when I can get 50 free!
Here's the set I had made a few years ago......people LOVED them.....(I even had a batch printed up that had a little bit of the back story for my Battle Scarred Bears and used them as tags for the one's that were at the Spruill Gallery).
Because they're free, there will be a Moo Cards promotion bar on the side of the cards...... No big deal...they're FREE!....and trust me, when you hand out these cards, people'll ask questions because they're so unique and with the promotion bar, all the info they need is right there on the card....even with a discount code for first time users.
When you get your 50 free, you'll have to pay for shipping......$6 I think. There's also and option to put a certain amount of money towards your next purchase of Moo Cards (up to $10) and they'll match that amount! I chose to put $10 towards my next purchase so I have a $20 credit waiting for me when I decide to reorder! SUH-WEET!
I'm not sure when this offer ends, so you better get on it if you're interested!!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
In 1994, I followed a boy to Alaska. I came back with Freya.
She's been through a lot in her 16 years. She's been on a 13 hour plane ride which forever changed her personality, lived in at least 6 different places, and survived two kids that went through the terrible two's for like 3 years.
A few years ago she decided to crawl under our bed and never come out. Up until recently, the only way to get her out was to wait until you could see her tail pokin' out from under the bed and give it a good yank. That sure as shit pissed her off, but damn....if I don't cut her nails once a month, they'll grow into her little toes!
Once I'd finally drag her out, I'd have to hold her so tight I'd dang near squeeze her guts out her butt and she'd just eyeball me with her huge ass eyes like she was shootin' laser beams through me. The very second I'd finish, back under the bed she'd go.
For the past several months though she's been comin' out a lot hangin' out on our bed instead of under it. She still never leaves our room, but it's nice to see some sun shinin' on her pretty little face.
I say she's gonna out live us all.......
Thursday, April 15, 2010
My new musical obsessions.....at the moment......
(You'll want to pause my music player in the sidebar if you wanna watch any of these!)
Even though the first time I heard this song, it was only a little snippet (gawd I hate that word), it grabbed me and didn't let go. It took me about 20 minutes of listenin' to that little part over and over and googling different lyrics from it until I finally found it.
Chuck Ragan......Between the Lines.
This song makes me wanna drive fast, smoke cigarettes, drink whiskey and shake my ass....all at the same time.
Every Time I Die....We'rewolf
By now you all know I have a weakness for the ridiculous. Especially when it comes to booty shakin' music. Can't remember how I came across this, but it was on the computer. I watched the video like 18 times.....then I decided that I wanted to do the chair dancin' part with my friend Chewy......and we'd wear leotards. One day. I swear.
Beyonce f/Lady Gaga......Video Phone
Yet another song that makes me wanna drive fast, smoke cigarettes, drink whiskey and shake my ass....and maybe even take my pannies off.....all at the same time.
The video's pretty funny, but the song on it's own doesn't have all the cartoon shit in it.
Peter Pan Speedrock.......Resurrection
Last, but not least.
This here song takes my back to bein' a teenager when I was nothin' but right all the time and I didn't give a shit what anybody else had to say about anything.
Wait....that's me now....anyhow.....
This song has became my favorite thing to say whenever I'm questioned about anything.
Smut Peddlers......Fuck You, That's Why
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
According to Facebook, I am 100% Latina, I could survive a zombie takeover for 3.5 years, if I were to go to jail it would be because I "just had to shoot that guy", my ghetto nickname is June Bug and the sandwich that best represents me is a pulled pork sammich.
I'd say all that's pretty dead on wouldn't you?
Man I love Facebook. I ain't ashamed to admit it.
...and the quizzes are just a small part of that love. I mean shit....who doesn't wanna know what dead rockstar they most resemble or what kinda kiss (not kisser...just kiss) they are?!?! Psht...I totally do.
The most recent quiz I took was called "What's your biggest weakness?" This was the result......
Your heart. You are often loved because of your outgoing and fun personality, and you like to give hugs and flirt, but underneath it all you are lacking heart. You find it hard to love others through all the walls you've built around your heart from being hurt so much throughout life, but you want to love, you desperately want that fun, that you see in others, but you don't know if you can have it in your current circumstances. You want stability, but at the same time you need change. You go from one extreme to another and often feel overwhelmed when you can't figure out something. You think about your life often and how you can improve your character. The walls need to crumble for you to truly be YOU.
Ok, so.....I would like to have a word with the Facebook quizzerer people and just say.....YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I may be 100% Latina and I may be the doggy style position, but you got that shit all wrong. Just sayin'......guess you can't be right all the time. I'll let this one slide Facebook, but don't let it happen again.
Monday, April 12, 2010
A few months back I took a photography class taught by Jenn at BlondeShot Creative. In the class I had told her how much I hated usin' a flash. It washes out people and just doesn't capture the moment the way you see it.....even through the lens of the camera.
Jenn suggested a homemade remedy to diffuse the brightness of the flash by using a film canister. I came home and dug through all my junk lookin' for a film canister, but haven't bought film in like 8 kabillion years. After comin' up empty handed, I sat on the couch and pouted for a while then I just completely forgot about it.
Today, Jenn sent me an email with a link showin' how to make a flash diffuser usin' a box of cigarettes. I knew I had one of those!.....or Jeremy did anyways. I couldn't wait to get home and try it. I had to wait for Jeremy to get home and as soon as he walked in I asked if he could empty his pack of cigarettes.
This is what you'll need........
Your digital SLR with pop up flash, a pack of smokes (emptied with foil still in it) and a knife.
After carefully pulling out the foil, makin' sure not to rip it, cut one edge of the bottom of the box.
Here's what it should look like after you've cut it.....
Turn the foil inside out so that when you put it back in, the foil's facin' in........
Push it all the way back in......
Once you have popped up your flash, put the box on like this......
I messed around with it quite a bit while takin' pictures and actually ended up turnin' the box around so the top was opening up the other way like in the link Jenn had sent me.
Here's my first shot....without the diffuser. (You're diggin' my awesome red makeup free skin ain't ya?). I'm all shiny and icky.......
This one is with the diffuser......much prettier and softer........
I really had a lot of fun takin' these pictures and as you can see it really worked! I definitely wanna try the film canister diffuser now. I think it may stay on better. I had some trouble keepin' the cigarette box on at times and don't think it would be too practical if I were takin' say some inside party pictures. If you're just doin' some still shots around the house this method will work just fine!
Over the weekend the kids went to Tennessee with their Grandparents. When I met them to pick the kids up, my Mom said the kids had a blast! They even got to go swimmin'.....by the nuclear power plant! Hmmm......okay (said in my best valley girl voice).
She said the green foamy stuff floatin' on the water's edge wasn't a problem at all. She said she knew for a fact it wasn't the kinda waste that could possibly be affecting the water surrounding the plant.....you know....the kinda waste that includes materials used in the nuclear fission process like, oh, I dunno.....spent uranium rods, which contain the highest level of toxins and radiation?!?!
Ok, I'm totally makin' all that shit up. My mom said it was all ok and I trust her judgment. She said they were at a place that had a sandy area by the water where people were fishing and there were a few picnic tables, too. She did tell me though that when she saw the sign that said "Toxic Water....Do Not Be Alarmed By Fish With Three Eyes", she figured any toxins that were in the water would just affect the fish since the sign said nothin' about humans havin' three eyes.
Ok, so I'm makin' up that part, too.
After my mom first told me where they went swimmin', I did say somethin' like "Oh GREAT! Now the kids are gonna start growin' a third eye Mom....way to go!".....and the girl looks at me and says, "whadda you mean?" So I told her that nuclear power plants released all sorts of toxic stuff into the water that makes people who swim in it grow third eyes on their foreheads. She stood there all squinty eyed lookin' at me like I was full of shit.....then she kinda rubbed her forehead and got in the car.
Fast forward to this mornin'.
I'm dead asleep when the girl comes in to wake me up and she's soundin' a little panicked. She says, "Mom. Wake up! Mooooommmm." I roll over, look at my alarm clock and tell her somebody better be dead...I got 7 minutes before I gotta get up. She starts cryin'. Oh sweet baby jesus. I half expected things to not go so smoothly this mornin' since it was the first day back to school after Spring Break....but cryin'?.....really?
I sit up and say, "what is it?" Through her tears and snot bubbles she says, "I-I-I have a bump on my head and it really, really hurts! I can't even stand to touch it it hurts so bad!" I reach over and feel the bump and say "it's just a zit honey".....more tears.....and "but it hurts SOOOOOO bad! So, So, So Bad!" So I put on my glasses and have a look. Sure 'nuff......it's a zit.....a big ol' whitehead....her very first one.....on her forehead.......the day after I told her she was probably gonna grow a third eye because her Grandparents let her swim in the water by the nuclear power plant.
Hmmm......is there a lesson to be learned here? If so, I ain't figured it out yet.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I saw this ice cream truck the other day.
First thing I thought was......damn they sure are far from home, maybe they're goin' to an ice cream convention......I should totally follow 'em and see. Second thing I thought was.......there ain't no ice cream trucks that look like that 'round these parts. Here in the South you almost feel like you're riskin' your own life to approach the ice cream man's truck. I seriously did wanna follow them to see where they were goin', but what if they were just headed back to California? I mean what a colossal waste of time that woulda been. Ultimately, it was the white milky substance dumpin' out the back of it and hittin' my windshield that made me just go ahead and turn where I was supposed to. I was totally outta whipperwhiper fluid so I ended up just smearin' that shit all over my windshield. I was pissed. I love ice cream.
I pass this painted tree from time to time.........What is it? Why is it there? It drives me BONKERS and one day I'm gonna be drivin' along and I'm gonna be all lookin' at it as I drive past and *KABAMOOIE!!!!!!!!* I'm gonna rear end a stopped car.
Is it some kinda Indian ritual? Did somebody die in a car accident there and they loved blue paint and red frisbees and this is someone's last tribute? Is it there just to distract people like me from actually seein' somethin' else in that area that we could be seein' if we weren't lookin' at this, this.....whatever the hell it is? WHAT IS IT?!?! I'm losin' sleep dammit!
....is the girl's version of our family on the Sims game. Her and her brother are DEAD ON. Like crazy dead on. Me and her dad on the other hand......she says....Mom, it won't let me make you and Dad any bigger, not like taller, but like.....bigger.....and they don't have hair as big as yours either. Take note Sims game.... not everyone in this world (especially in America) is a size 6 with beautiful hair.
This was the girl right after finding the last Easter egg.
I've decided that I hate hidin' Easter eggs. What has become of me????? I used to love playin' the part of all these holiday characters. I'm pretty sure at this point she knows all of it's a bunch of hooey, but she's still goin' along for the ride so she'll still get all the benefits of believin'. I've thought about payin' her brother to tell her it's all fake....it's a sham....she's been had, but she'll still get all the presents....better him than me right? I mean, I don't wanna be the one to bust her bubble completely. I already had to be the one to talk to her about S-E-X.....I should get a free pass on this one dontcha think?
Here's our dearest Wheezy.......she's almost five months now.
She has two modes. Haulin' ass and passed the fuck out. We've joked around that she's narcoleptic, but sometimes I really wonder. She'll run, run, run and leap through the air just to land in my lap and be completely sacked out the next second. There's no sittin' and relaxin' for a bit then fallin' asleep. It's the weirdest thing.
True story.....yesterday Wheezy jumped up in my lap. Jeremy came over and started sayin'.....you're gettin' very sleepy....very, very sleepy....he said it over and over for just a few seconds and no shit, she fell over. I don't mean like she just fell asleep like usual. She totally and completely fell the fuck over and was OUT.
I hear Jeremy's Mom used to do the same thing to the neighbor's chickens when she was a kid.
I came across this on this morning's Post Secrets blog.
After a month now of lookin' 8,000 times a day at every job site I can find and sendin' out resumes for jobs I totally don't want, jobs makin' way less money or jobs that I'm way over qualified for and still hearin' nothin' back from 99.9%, this really helps me hold onto hope. I'm not the only one. I've known I'm not, but there's somethin' about seein' it on Post Secret that tells me it's all gonna be just fine. Thank you Post Secret......you are the first thing my brain processes every Sunday mornin'.
Lord have I neglected my blog! I think about it everyday, but when it comes to content I got nothin'. Hell, I still got nothin', but I'm sittin' in the living room in dead silence. Everyone else is still asleep so I can actually sit and think and write for a minute.
I still haven't found a job. I'm goin' on what?.......a month now? I'm guessin' I've sent out over 80 resumes by now. Every day when I get to work, I'll open up every job site I can think of and just hit the refresh button every 15 - 30 minutes. The new listings have drastically slowed down. When it first happened a couple weeks ago, I about went over the edge. I had a really bad week that week. Like wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry while suckin' my thumb kinda bad....well that or beatin' the ever livin' crap outta the first person that looked at me wrong. I finally pulled myself out of it. I had to take my own advice that a really good friend threw back in my face after me havin' told her the same thing over and over. So thanks to her, I got over it and moved on. A shitty attitude will get me nowhere.....gotta stay positive, positive, positive.
Earlier this week, I had to complete a typing test to qualify for a job at City Hall. Turns out 50,000 other ladies were also tryin' to qualify for the same job, but what's new? When I arrived at the testing office, I looked around I thought "Really? This is what my competition is????" One lady had her kid with her, another lady was wearing jeans that had the crotch of 'em missin' because of her thighs rubbin', another chick was on her cell phone while the lady administering the test was trying to talk to her and the last lady had no fuckin' clue what a TAB key was!
All I could do was sit there and think, "so........as long as these ladies, type fast enough, they have as much of a chance as I do?!?!?!" Niiiice. If I was the person administering the test, the second those ladies walked in with a kid, jeans that had been eaten by their crotch or with a cell phone attached to their ear I woulda just shook my head and pointed to the door. You mean to tell me that you can't find somebody to watch your kid for an hour? You can't go to the thrift store and buy a pair of slacks? You can't put your fukin' cell phone down for just a minute? And then there's the lady that didn't know where the TAB key was. I'da just patted her on the back.....bless her heart.
By the time I had left there were six more ladies waiting. Out of those six, one had her kid with her and another one looked like she hadn't brushed her hair weeks. What a waste of my time......Even though I passed the with flyin' colors (and none of the ladies that were before me did), I left feelin' totally defeated.
The next day though things turned around, because I was called in for an interview. Despite the fact that when I left, I felt like I had been through a tornado and came out thinkin' "what the fuck just happened?", I think things went pretty well. I said VERY little.....hell, I had very little chance to actually say anything, which could be a very good thing, because I ain't exactly polished or always professional. When I left, I left knowing that they have a very heavy case load, what the hours would be, that I could wear jeans and flip flops, that I was exactly what they were lookin' for, but they still had a few more interviews and that I would be makin' less money than I do now. Man I hope I get this job! Keep your fingers crossed for me!