Thursday, April 16, 2009

At the Skatin' Rank

The girl and I went to the skatin' rank a couple weekends ago.
It's CRAZY how much they've changed since I was a kid! Hell, it's crazy how much they've changed in just the past 10 years.
There was a time that I couldn't wait to get my butt to "rink" on the weekends. They played songs like "Funkytown" and "Push It". There'd always be an ass ton of friends and plenty boys to flirt with. Occasionally there'd be some hooker of a girl makin' out with a boy in a dark corner, but other than that, you just went there to hang out with your friends and skate.
NOW, however, the skatin' rink is something entirely different. They have playgrounds and lasertag and all the kids are wearin' rollerblades. That my friends is just l-a-m-e. I mean really? Inline skates is for freakin' Piedmont Park y'all. There's also too many kids old enough to drive that are there. Dude, when you get your time at the rink has come and gone.
The music they play now is an issue all of it's own. I tend to tune it all out, because it all sucks ass, but at one point I caught myself singin' along......"I kissed a girl and I liked iiittt!"....Oh shit, really?!?! They're playin' that at the skatin' rink on a Saturday afternoon when it's filled with freakin' elementary school kids????
I'm no prude. Oh I??? I know all the kids know that song. It's so catchy you coulda never even have heard the damn thing and it could be stuck in your head....but with lyrics like "no, I don't even know your name, you're just my experimental felt so wrong, it felt so right.....I hope my boyfriend don't mind." I DON'T want that in my girl's head! I don't want her to think that it's ok to be makin' out with people you don't know, I don't want her cheatin' on her boyfriend, I don't want her kissin' a girl to experiment (whatever I don't care...I don't wanna know about it ok?). All that's fine and good for an adult, hell, even a middle school's life! (you know you were totally makin' out in middle school!)....but that song on a Saturday afternoon???? All the freakin' kids were freaking 3rd graders! DAMMIT.
I started focusing, trying to pay attention to the suck ass music. I realized just how sexually charged a lot of it was. Not all if it was like that, but I remember hearing something that I thought was totally gross and inappropriate for an elementary school kid. Wish I could remember what it was. Luckily my girl focuses more on not lookin' (in her words) "totally retarded" when she skates so she wasn't really hearing the music anyways.
Did I say something about the crap ass inappropriate music? No, but I thought about it. A lot. It actually consumed me for a brief minute, but decided I was in a decent mood that day and didn't wanna embarrass the shit outta the girl. I'd let it be. Maybe next time, I'll skate my big 'ol ass over to the pimply ass, side ways hat wearin', yo-yo talkin' kid that is the dj and just smack him upside the head. UGh...I hate people.
Despite the crap ass music and the throngs of irritatin' kids, we had fun. She had fun. It was a day that I didn't totally embarrass the girl. All was good.


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