At the Skatin' Rank

The girl and I went to the skatin' rank a couple weekends ago.

It's CRAZY how much they've changed since I was a kid! Hell, it's crazy how much they've changed in just the past 10 years.

There was a time that I couldn't wait to get my butt to "rink" on the weekends. They played songs like "Funkytown" and "Push It". There'd always be an ass ton of friends and plenty boys to flirt with. Occasionally there'd be some hooker of a girl makin' out with a boy in a dark corner, but other than that, you just went there to hang out with your friends and skate.

NOW, however, the skatin' rink is something entirely different. They have playgrounds and lasertag and all the kids are wearin' rollerblades. That my friends is just l-a-m-e. I mean really? Inline skates is for freakin' Piedmont Park y'all. There's also too many kids old enough to drive that are there. Dude, when you get your license....you time at the rink has come and gone.

The music they play now is an issue all of it's own. I tend to tune it all out, because it all sucks ass, but at one point I caught myself singin' along......"I kissed a girl and I liked iiittt!"....Oh shit, really?!?! They're playin' that at the skatin' rink on a Saturday afternoon when it's filled with freakin' elementary school kids????

I'm no prude. Oh God...am I??? I know all the kids know that song. It's so catchy you coulda never even have heard the damn thing and it could be stuck in your head....but with lyrics like "no, I don't even know your name, you're just my experimental game....it felt so wrong, it felt so right.....I hope my boyfriend don't mind." I DON'T want that in my girl's head! I don't want her to think that it's ok to be makin' out with people you don't know, I don't want her cheatin' on her boyfriend, I don't want her kissin' a girl to experiment (whatever I don't care...I don't wanna know about it ok?). All that's fine and good for an adult, hell, even a middle school kid....it's life! (you know you were totally makin' out in middle school!)....but that song on a Saturday afternoon???? All the freakin' kids were freaking 3rd graders! DAMMIT.

I started focusing, trying to pay attention to the suck ass music. I realized just how sexually charged a lot of it was. Not all if it was like that, but I remember hearing something that I thought was totally gross and inappropriate for an elementary school kid. Wish I could remember what it was. Luckily my girl focuses more on not lookin' (in her words) "totally retarded" when she skates so she wasn't really hearing the music anyways.

Did I say something about the crap ass inappropriate music? No, but I thought about it. A lot. It actually consumed me for a brief minute, but decided I was in a decent mood that day and didn't wanna embarrass the shit outta the girl. I'd let it be. Maybe next time, I'll skate my big 'ol ass over to the pimply ass, side ways hat wearin', yo-yo talkin' kid that is the dj and just smack him upside the head. UGh...I hate people.

Despite the crap ass music and the throngs of irritatin' kids, we had fun. She had fun. It was a day that I didn't totally embarrass the girl. All was good.

Because I'm TOTALLY Awesome Like That!

Today I was checkin' out the Cake Wrecks Blog and it was about my favoritist feline EVER (actually the only feline I like)...... HELLO KITTY ! WOW, there are some pretty shit cakes out there claiming to be Hello Kitty cakes. One even looks like Porky the freakin' Pig. The very last cake she wrote about tough is a cake I have worshiped forEVER . The first time I saw the HK zombie cake was on this site called Hello Kitty Hell which was a site I learned of when a friend of mine had sent me an email saying she'd seen one of my tattoos online. At first I thought "WHAT!?!?!? Really? Which one? Are they makin' fun of the big ass nekkid blue fairy that covers my ENTIRE back?" No, it couldn't be....no one even sees that tattoo.....ever. I clicked the link she had sent me and it took me to a fantastic place called Hello Kitty Hell . Wha? I ain't ever seen this place before! The dude who writes it says he's married to a crazed maniac of a wife that must h...

13 Roses 13 Dollar Tattoos!

Y'all have been lookin' for it and here it is! Yes , 13 Roses in Atlanta is gonna have another $13 tattoo (plus lucky $7 tip!) this upcoming Friday the 13th! Turn one of the unluckiest days of the year into your lucky day! You got a $20 bill, you gotta tattoo...... Q & A What does $20 get you? A kick ass tattoo by a kick ass artist. On the 13th, the shop will put on the front door a sheet of paper that has the tattoos you can choose from. Don't expect a half sleeve dipshit. It's a $20 tattoo!!! See that 13 on my arm? That's what I got last time..... ....and this taco (mmmm tacos)....it's what I got another time..... and that shit's a coupon at Holy Taco in East Atlanta....yep....a coupon. Does it just cost $13 for the tattoo? No asshat.....it's $13 tattoos with a $7 tip......$20. You got more than 2o dolla....tip more. Can I pick any tattoo I want? N o. Like I said before....they'll post a sheet of paper with what you can choose from on the front...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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