Last year the girl won first place in the costume contest and won a $100 gift card to Target. I was all "WOO HOO...I'm goin' shoppin' at Target". She was all "uh, no mom....I won, you didn't." So I was all....."Yeah well, I bought that shit you're wearin' and I put your makeup on and I drove you to damn contest....so WOO HOO....I'm goin' shoppin' at Target!"
I got a pack of gum.
This year, she got second place. She was disappointed her gift card was only $35. I told her if she complained again, I was gonna hand it over to the kid in the dirty poodle costume, because not only did it look like she needed it, she would probably appreciate it. She shut up then.
The boy decided not to dress up this year. Well, I guess it'd be kinda hard to dress up when his costume hasn't come in yet. He'd totally have worn it otherwise I'm sure. I love this picture....I'm not sure what he was yellin' at.
He could be yellin' at the same to shit ass kids I had to yell at for throwin' hay on the hay ride. I hate bein' that parent...you know the one that's all mean and shit to someone else's kids. Maybe if their fat assed uncle all hangin' out with his front butt coulda got on the ride with them, he coulda yelled at 'em instead...but no....he was too fat. All I gotta say is I don't blame that man for slappin' that screamin' ass kid in Walmart.
My kids however, are always PERFECT in public.....
Once we left, we decided to take the kids to the "haunted" covered bridge in Smyrna. (Picture borrowed.....we went at night.) 
There's all kindsa stories floatin' around about this bridge. Somethin' about witches bein' hung there and hauntin' the bridge, ghosts of water babies that were buried by the creek and one about puttin' a candy bar on the roof of your car, turnin' off your headlights and hearin' the feet of ghost children comin' up to get the candy bar. Uh....yeah. You turn your lights off while your on the ONE lane covered bridge, there's a good chance your ass'll be hautin' the place one day, because you'll probably die when someone crashes into you.
The boy was SUPER excited about goin'. He loves paranormal ghostly stuff. The scarier the better. He was very quiet. Very serious. Very ready to see somethin' awesome. The girl was on the verge of hyperventilating. She was sobbin'. Beggin' to turn around. Beggin' to just go home.
We drove through very slowly and Jeremy and I both screamed at the same time scarin' the ever livin' shit outta both the kids. It was total awesomeness.
Comments