Monday, October 26, 2009

Who Doesn't Love Tongue Tacos?

We had a mexican themed birthday party for a friend of ours......

.....and I wanted to try my hand at cooking something authentic. I've always seen tacos de lengua on the menu at this little mexican joint we frequent. As much I've always wanted to order it (psht, yeah right), I've never actually ordered it in fear of pukin' in front of a bunch of mexicans and them pointin' and laughin' at me. What a better way to try it than cookin' it at home myself?

First you gotta find the cow tongue. Since the Walmart closest to us didn't have tongue, we decided to go to a Walmart that was in Acworth which has quite the mexican population in parts. $9 later I had one big ass fat tongue.

I also bought some fresh cilantro, 6 roma tomatos, a couple jalapenos, fresh garlic and some yellow onions. I already had the spices I wanted to use at home......cumin, oregano, bay leaves (which I ended up not using) and peppercorns.

First thing's first. Get the tongue outta the package. This was the hardest part for me. After I finally stopped all the dry-heavin', I played with it for a while.....still almost pukin'.....

I decided to cook it in the slow cooker so I wouldn't have to watch the water level all day if I chose to boil it. Seriously, about to puke just lookin' at this picture. Crazy mexicans......

Quarter a big yellow onion, slice and take the seeds ('cuz as mexican as I like to pretend to be, I'm one big ass sissy and don't like eatin' food that burns just as much goin' in as it does comin' out), squish up 5-6 cloves of garlic, and chop up half a bunch of cilantro.

Throw it all in the crock pot with an ass ton of cumin, chili powder, cracked peppercorns, a bit of salt and oregano and a dash of cayenne pepper. Cover with water and put crop on low for about 8 hours.

For some reason I expected the whole house to smell likes ass, ok I mean tongue, if tongue had a smell, I was certain it'd smell like ass......The house actually smelled awesome.....all mexican like and stuff.
8 hours later, it was time for the worst part....peeling the skin off the meat. Uaackkkk. <-----totally my pukin' sound.

It turned out to not be as bad as I thought. I expected it to all come off in one tough layer, but it was more like pullin' the skin off a cooked piece of salmon. There were also some bits of tongue vessels that had to be removed.......(uacckkkk).
Shredding the tongue was pretty much the only option since it cooked so long in a crockpot. I'd rather eat shredded tongue over chunked tongue anyday.

Next, I chopped up the romas, half of another onion, another 5 cloves of garlic and another jalapeno.

Heat about 2 Tbls. of oil in a pan and add all the chopped veggies. Once the tomatos started gettin' soft, I added a cup of tongue stock and let it simmer a bit to get the onions a little softer.

Then I added the shredded tongue. Bickety got yourself some beef brisket for tacos......that's what I told everyone it was anyhow.

Once I finally remembered I had cooked this stuff, I was half lit so I forgot to take any pictures of the final product in it's fancy taco form. It really did taste EXACTLY like beef brisket that had been flavored all mexican. No funky ass gamey taste that I expected.No weird consistency. I will admit thought since I knew what it was I kinda had a hard time eating it at first, but everybody really liked it.......

....then I told 'em it was tongue. No one flipped out and some people were totally fine with it, but still the look on a couple people's faces were priceless.....they totally just ate tongue.

A Little Bit of Halloween

Friday we took the kids to a car dealership for a Halloween party. Honestly, I just wanted to go for the free Hooters hot wings and save myself a night of cookin' dinner. I'm so over cookin' dinner (Even though I totally cooked cow tongue over the weekend....stay tuned!).

Last year the girl won first place in the costume contest and won a $100 gift card to Target. I was all "WOO HOO...I'm goin' shoppin' at Target". She was all "uh, no mom....I won, you didn't." So I was all....."Yeah well, I bought that shit you're wearin' and I put your makeup on and I drove you to damn WOO HOO....I'm goin' shoppin' at Target!"

I got a pack of gum.

This year, she got second place. She was disappointed her gift card was only $35. I told her if she complained again, I was gonna hand it over to the kid in the dirty poodle costume, because not only did it look like she needed it, she would probably appreciate it. She shut up then.

The boy decided not to dress up this year. Well, I guess it'd be kinda hard to dress up when his costume hasn't come in yet. He'd totally have worn it otherwise I'm sure. I love this picture....I'm not sure what he was yellin' at.

He could be yellin' at the same to shit ass kids I had to yell at for throwin' hay on the hay ride. I hate bein' that know the one that's all mean and shit to someone else's kids. Maybe if their fat assed uncle all hangin' out with his front butt coulda got on the ride with them, he coulda yelled at 'em instead...but no....he was too fat. All I gotta say is I don't blame that man for slappin' that screamin' ass kid in Walmart.

My kids however, are always PERFECT in public.....

Once we left, we decided to take the kids to the "haunted" covered bridge in Smyrna. (Picture borrowed.....we went at night.)

There's all kindsa stories floatin' around about this bridge. Somethin' about witches bein' hung there and hauntin' the bridge, ghosts of water babies that were buried by the creek and one about puttin' a candy bar on the roof of your car, turnin' off your headlights and hearin' the feet of ghost children comin' up to get the candy bar. Uh....yeah. You turn your lights off while your on the ONE lane covered bridge, there's a good chance your ass'll be hautin' the place one day, because you'll probably die when someone crashes into you.

The boy was SUPER excited about goin'. He loves paranormal ghostly stuff. The scarier the better. He was very quiet. Very serious. Very ready to see somethin' awesome. The girl was on the verge of hyperventilating. She was sobbin'. Beggin' to turn around. Beggin' to just go home.

We drove through very slowly and Jeremy and I both screamed at the same time scarin' the ever livin' shit outta both the kids. It was total awesomeness.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Weekend Review

I saw Scott H. Biram play this weekend at the Star Bar. He sang his last song totally nekkid. I mean really...standin' there basically eye level with his junk all hangin' out....It was kinda weird, uncomfortable and awesome all at the same time.

He just so happened to drop trow right after I said "TAKE YER PANNIES OFF!" Did this line (which I tend to always scream out at shows) finally work or was it pure coincidence? I'll never know. It was awesome either way.

Before the show, I also went to Netherworld haunted house with a bunch of bitches.

We spent our time in line drinkin' Jack Daniels with potato chip chasers (sounds gross, but try that shit!) so I pretty much got shitfaced beforehand hopin' it would keep me from gettin' the ever livin' shit scared outta me. All it did was make me wanna puke my guts up on this twirly tunnel bridge thing (which I'm pretty sure it woulda done to me shitfaced or not).

The last time I went to a haunted house, I was 12 and it scarred me. It was absolutely terrifying, so I assumed this top ranked haunted house was gonna leave me pretty damaged. The anticipation of being scared was way worse than the actual attempts to scare. Believe me, I screamed like a big ol' black girl hollerin' "oh girl, donchoo go in that basement, you gonna DIIIIEEEE", but really, I expected SO much more.

On Saturday, I attempted to take the kids to the Little 5 Points Halloween parade, but 30 minutes after we got there the girl, havin' been sick the previous day, started feelin' pretty crappy again so we had to leave. I felt awful for both the kids. The L5P parade is always somethin' we all really look forward to and this was the first year in many that we've missed it. It's better than any other parade around......It definitely ain't your standard family parade. Random Atlanta says "Seriously people, don’t miss out on going down to L5P for this. Little Five is known to be a bit alternative, but when it is this time of the year, it gets down right wacky". I hate that we missed it this year, but there's always next year.

Once Saturday evening came rollin' around the kids felt up to goin' to Halloween thing at the local Baskin Robbins. I think the nasty winter like weather kept everyone from goin' out because it wasn't so awesome. A free scoop of ice cream and fifteen minutes later, we were back home again.

That was pretty much it for the weekend. I meant to do other things, like get everything back in our basement or make a few bears for a craft show I'm doin' in a few weeks,

This comin' up weekend is gonna be another crazy hectic one. We have a Halloween thing to take the kids to on Friday (free food and jumpy things, woooo!) and some runnin' around to do on Saturday before a birthday party we're havin' at our house for a friend that night....stay tuned for pictures!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Always Changin'

All these........

Have been replaced with these.......

A few years back, I had a thing for Publix brand Ginger Ale, but this? This shit BURNS sooooo good....

I have this......

....but I wanna move on to this......

The was my best friend, always full of gin and tonic.....

...but I've moved on to the pink drknk. This shit's AMAZING and before you know it, you're on the ground......

I used to shake my ass to this......

(so I still shake it to this, but after their drummer was a TOTAL douche bag to me, I've lost a little bit of that lovin' feelin')

...but now I'm more inclined to shake my ass to this.....

I don't deal so well with change, but sometimes change is for the better....and it's inevitable.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I Hit A Retard Once and Haven't Been the Same Since

When I was in school, I was a proud member (the only member as it turns out) of the pickin' on people police. I hated seein' people get picked on. I had been known to go to extremes whenever I saw someone pickin' on somebody else. It started with me just runnin' my mouth at whoever the aggressor was. Then I moved on to hittin' people with rulers and eventually desk chairs. I hated bullies.

As much as I felt bad for some people and would stand up for them no matter what, I totally knocked a retard to the ground once. He wore a helmet, he had big ass buck teeth and he kinda shuffled when he walked. Bless his heart. Yeah, No....

Retarded dude was a TOTAL perv. My first encounter with his little gnarly rovin' hands was him grabbin' my butt. I turned around all giggly thinkin' it'd be one of my boys...and came to a screeching halt when I saw retard boy's bucktoothed retard smile. I'm sure I said somethin' along the lines of "your a funny little man" and turned back around.

Not two weeks later, retard boy grabbed my tit. Wha? At this point I probably said to his retard bucktoothed smilin' face somethin' like "C'mon retard boy, you know you can't be doin' that" and I went on about my business. He was retarded after all. Maybe all this was part of his retardness. Uh, no.

The next day, we had a fire drill and the entire school flocked out to the lawn. As I stood there talkin' to somebody, retard boy comes and and takes a grab at my VAGINA. I said nothin'. I just closed my fist and swung retard style with all my might and nailed retard boy in his retard helmet, knockin' him to the ground. I was furious and disgusted. Retard or not, you can't be all grabbin' on my vagina. He laid there for a bit and flopped around like a fish before his keeper realized what was goin' on. I went to the office, but what were they gonna do? He GRABBED MY VAGINA and people saw it. I got a talkin' to about not hittin' people and was let go.

I had to turn in my pickin' on people police badge that day and haven't been the same since.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I Just Don't Know

After weeks of lookin', the boy finally decided he wanted to dress up as Dead Pool for Halloween this year.....

Some little ol' lady in a dank basement in Japan is custom sewin' one to fit him. It's basically a one piece red and black leotard and bless his heart, I know he's got this image in his head of how he's gonna look all bad ass with swords and guns and shit, but honestly, he's gonna look more like one of them creepy skinny dudes at a Cirque du Soleil show.

Oh Lord please help me.

I always want to be the supportive mom. Wear what ya want, do what ya long as it doesn't hurt yourself or anyone else. That's what I've always said. As a mom, I don't want my kids to ever feel like I'm judging them negatively because of what they love to wear.

I'm ok with the fact that he's still gonna be wearin' costumes to Dragoncon when he's 40, but at 14....wearin' a red and black leotard and trickertreatin'. I'm not too sure about that. I know it's so much better than what so many other kids are doin' at 14.......I mean when I was 14......yeah, well......

I think I'll go to one of those Halloween shops and buy him a muscle man suit to put under his leota.......I mean....Mean BAD ASS Dead Pool Costume. Yes, yes....I will.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz III

My car was packed up to the ceiling and the trunk was stuffed, everybody had made it to the house on time and we were on our way to the third annual Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz show. My car however had another idea of what she would be doin' with her Saturday and it didn't involve drivin' a dirt track.

On the way to get gas, I knew somethin' wasn't right. When we stopped to fill 'er up, she was done.....she was dumpin' gas outta the carburetor. It took me 30 minutes and the help of jumper cables to finally get her started and get her back home.

No dirt track for me this year. I was heart broken. Devastated. She did so good her first year and the second year we girls packed in like sardine's goin' down the track listenin' to Peaches and Tone Loc. Memorieeeeees.

We packed up the 4Runner and headed out again. Despite the rough start, we had a kick ass time as always.......

The drive there is always so nice.

Boys and their burnouts.

They had karaoke this year and we all sang somethin' together. I forget what, but I bet it sucked.....I mean I bet it was AWESOME.

Here's Pauly doin' his version of "When I Think About You I Touch Myself".....and he totally touches himself.....

No sure about this dude....he wasted beer on a monkey.....

Nothin' like fancy Alabama water out of a mason jar......

The dirt track.....

...and look, I found someone nice enough to let me take his truck down the track. WOOOOOOO.....

Don't know who this is, but I love the picture....

My hot ass man.......

Wow....not sure.........can't believe I handed my camera over to someone.....

Jello shots!
A BWB Supporter!
It was such a gorgeous day.
After a brief skirmish, we were all banished to our little campsite for the night. Thank god there was a fire. I had so much mud on me and I was cold as heyellll.
Chewy and I were totally gonna go out gangsta style, but I just went to sleep instead. (HA! Sleep....psht, right)........
Right before I headed for our tent, I snapped this picture of the moon.....

Another fun year and H&'s 'til next year......

She Lied

I was thirsty. She said she had water.

"I thought water normally came in plastic bottles", I said.

"Yeah it does, but I'm reducing my carbon footprint on our precious mother earth".

"This water don't smell right".
"I think you mighta got it confused with kerosene. I better taste it to make sure......."

"Most definitely kerosene".
I drank a lot of "that" water Saturday. Some plain, some with lemons, some with cherries.....It all tasted exactly the same.
My esophagus is raw, my stomach lining has been burnt away and I still got the shakes.
Jesus musta known what that Alabama water'd do to me, because it's rainy and overcast today. I'm sure the sun would feel like sonic laser beams piercing my eyeballs.
Thank you jesus.

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