'Cuz I Felt Like It!

We had a mexican themed birthday party for a friend of ours...... .....and I wanted to try my hand at cooking something authentic. I've always seen tacos de lengua on the menu at this little mexican joint we frequent. As much I've always wanted to order it (psht, yeah right), I've never actually ordered it in fear of pukin' in front of a bunch of mexicans and them pointin' and laughin' at me. What a better way to try it than cookin' it at home myself? First you gotta find the cow tongue. Since the Walmart closest to us didn't have tongue, we decided to go to a Walmart that was in Acworth which has quite the mexican population in parts. $9 later I had one big ass fat tongue. I also bought some fresh cilantro, 6 roma tomatos, a couple jalapenos, fresh garlic and some yellow onions. I already had the spices I wanted to use at home......cumin, oregano, bay leaves (which I ended up not using) and peppercorns. First thing's first. Get the tongue outta the...

Friday we took the kids to a car dealership for a Halloween party. Honestly, I just wanted to go for the free Hooters hot wings and save myself a night of cookin' dinner. I'm so over cookin' dinner (Even though I totally cooked cow tongue over the weekend....stay tuned!). Last year the girl won first place in the costume contest and won a $100 gift card to Target. I was all "WOO HOO...I'm goin' shoppin' at Target". She was all "uh, no mom....I won, you didn't." So I was all....."Yeah well, I bought that shit you're wearin' and I put your makeup on and I drove you to damn contest....so WOO HOO....I'm goin' shoppin' at Target!" I got a pack of gum. This year, she got second place. She was disappointed her gift card was only $35. I told her if she complained again, I was gonna hand it over to the kid in the dirty poodle costume, because not only did it look like she needed it, she would probably appreciate it. S...

I saw Scott H. Biram play this weekend at the Star Bar . He sang his last song totally nekkid. I mean really...standin' there basically eye level with his junk all hangin' out....It was kinda weird, uncomfortable and awesome all at the same time. He just so happened to drop trow right after I said "TAKE YER PANNIES OFF!" Did this line (which I tend to always scream out at shows) finally work or was it pure coincidence? I'll never know. It was awesome either way. Before the show, I also went to Netherworld haunted house with a bunch of bitches. We spent our time in line drinkin' Jack Daniels with potato chip chasers (sounds gross, but try that shit!) so I pretty much got shitfaced beforehand hopin' it would keep me from gettin' the ever livin' shit scared outta me. All it did was make me wanna puke my guts up on this twirly tunnel bridge thing (which I'm pretty sure it woulda done to me shitfaced or not). The last time I went to a haunted hous...

All these........ Have been replaced with these....... A few years back, I had a thing for Publix brand Ginger Ale, but this? This shit BURNS sooooo good.... I have this...... ....but I wanna move on to this...... The was my best friend, always full of gin and tonic..... ...but I've moved on to the pink drknk. This shit's AMAZING and before you know it, you're on the ground...... I used to shake my ass to this...... (so I still shake it to this, but after their drummer was a TOTAL douche bag to me, I've lost a little bit of that lovin' feelin') ...but now I'm more inclined to shake my ass to this..... I don't deal so well with change, but sometimes change is for the better....and it's inevitable.

When I was in school, I was a proud member (the only member as it turns out) of the pickin' on people police. I hated seein' people get picked on. I had been known to go to extremes whenever I saw someone pickin' on somebody else. It started with me just runnin' my mouth at whoever the aggressor was. Then I moved on to hittin' people with rulers and eventually desk chairs. I hated bullies. As much as I felt bad for some people and would stand up for them no matter what, I totally knocked a retard to the ground once. He wore a helmet, he had big ass buck teeth and he kinda shuffled when he walked. Bless his heart. Yeah, No.... Retarded dude was a TOTAL perv. My first encounter with his little gnarly rovin' hands was him grabbin' my butt. I turned around all giggly thinkin' it'd be one of my boys...and came to a screeching halt when I saw retard boy's bucktoothed retard smile. I'm sure I said somethin' along the lines of "your a funny ...

After weeks of lookin', the boy finally decided he wanted to dress up as Dead Pool for Halloween this year..... Some little ol' lady in a dank basement in Japan is custom sewin' one to fit him. It's basically a one piece red and black leotard and bless his heart, I know he's got this image in his head of how he's gonna look all bad ass with swords and guns and shit, but honestly, he's gonna look more like one of them creepy skinny dudes at a Cirque du Soleil show. Oh Lord please help me. I always want to be the supportive mom. Wear what ya want, do what ya want....as long as it doesn't hurt yourself or anyone else. That's what I've always said. As a mom, I don't want my kids to ever feel like I'm judging them negatively because of what they love to wear. I'm ok with the fact that he's still gonna be wearin' costumes to Dragoncon when he's 40, but at 14....wearin' a red and black leotard and trickertreatin'. I...

My car was packed up to the ceiling and the trunk was stuffed, everybody had made it to the house on time and we were on our way to the third annual Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz show. My car however had another idea of what she would be doin ' with her Saturday and it didn't involve drivin ' a dirt track. On the way to get gas, I knew somethin ' wasn't right. When we stopped to fill 'er up, she was done.....she was dumpin ' gas outta the carburetor. It took me 30 minutes and the help of jumper cables to finally get her started and get her back home. No dirt track for me this year. I was heart broken. Devastated. She did so good her first year and the second year we girls packed in like sardine's goin ' down the track listenin ' to Peaches and Tone Loc . Memorieeeeees . We packed up the 4Runner and headed out again. Despite the rough start, we had a kick ass time as always....... The drive there is always so nice. Boys and their burnouts. They h...

I was thirsty. She said she had water. "I thought water normally came in plastic bottles", I said. "Yeah it does, but I'm reducing my carbon footprint on our precious mother earth". "This water don't smell right". "I think you mighta got it confused with kerosene. I better taste it to make sure......." "Most definitely kerosene". I drank a lot of "that" water Saturday. Some plain, some with lemons, some with cherries.....It all tasted exactly the same. My esophagus is raw, my stomach lining has been burnt away and I still got the shakes. Jesus musta known what that Alabama water'd do to me, because it's rainy and overcast today. I'm sure the sun would feel like sonic laser beams piercing my eyeballs. Thank you jesus.