Skip to main content

I Got My "I Voted" Sticker.....

I sure did! Well, I totally cheated. I found one on the ground, picked up and wiped all the schmootz off it and pushed as hard as I possibly could to get it to stick to my shirt. Then I went to Starbucks. They were givin' away free drinks to people with "I Voted" stickers. Then after Starbucks, I went to Krispy Kreme and got a free donut. Psht....to think, I was gonna go waste my time in line to vote just so I could get a free coffee and donut!

So yeah, I didn't vote. Holy god, the shit I got! "Oh my god, you're not gonna vote?"....."Don't you want your voice to be heard?"........"Don't you want change"...."You can vote for the lesser of two evils"!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. MY voice is heard. Ask anyone that knows me. The two doofuses running for the presidency DO NOT represent MY voice. Change schmange.....all politicians are the same. Neither candidate represents what I believe this country needs.....even in a kinda sorta way. They both have equally ridiculous ideas, which I see no point in getting into. We'd just go in circles. Plus, we've all heard it over and over and over and over. So, here's my totally immature assessment of the two.......

McCain talks like a robot. The only way I coulda stomached him was if he actually did the robot every time he talked. Now THAT would've been awesome. Now, let's talk about his choice for VP. Wow, Mr. McCain was seriously pullin' at some strings with that one. I'm not sayin' Mrs. Alaska's dumber than dirt or anything like everybody else, I'm just sayin' that she's better suited to do Jager bombs with than be second in control and then she'd only be second for so long, because McCain's like 102 years old. When he'd kick the bucket she'd be number 1. No thanks.

Let's move on to our new President. Barack Hussein Obama. Anybody else notice that his middle name is Hussein? No? I totally did. I think Obama is just an arrogant a-hole. He's more of a rock star than a President. I bet he looks in the mirror everyday throws his fist up in the air, gives himself and wink and tells himself he's gonna rock out with his cock out. Yeah, that's what I'm sayin' and did anybody ever notice that his hands look JUST like Cris Rocks? Seriously, that creeps me out.....and as a total side note, this is the first election where when the new President was announced, gun shots could be heard ringin' out in every major city. Let me ponder that for a moment.......ok, I'm done ponderin'.

Seriously y'all, we were screwed either way. We as American people lost control of our country a long time ago and we're not gettin' it back any time soon......no matter who our new President ended up bein'.


Comments

Loopy said…
Ha! I like the new label: "Screwed Americans" ...very nice.

And my *$@# poll ladies didn't give me no "I Voted" sticker! Even tho I deserved that darn coffee & krispy creme! Gosh durnit!

Popular posts from this blog

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

Rev Run's Words of Wisdom

Yes my friends, it's time for another installment of the ever so wise Rev Run's Words of Wisdom...... "Never come down off your chariot to fight those who are throwing tomatoes" This goes back to the old tried and true saying, "pick your battles". Why stoop to someone else's level when it's just not worth it? Why raise your blood pressure? Nobody looks good all bug eyed with veins poppin ' outta their head because they're so worked up over what really amounts to nothing. We've all done it, and it just makes us look like fools. You gotta learn to sit back and watch people say and do stupid things, even if it pertains to you. It's way funner (another totally awesome word). Who cares if someone's talkin ' crap about you? Let it roll of your back. Why involve yourself with other people's stupid? Chances are, they're an insignificant person who has nothing better to do and hates life. Chances are, they're miserable ...