Skip to main content

I Could TOTALLY See Russia From My House!


Some of my really funny friends (as they so deem themselves) who knew I had lived in Alaska have asked me if I could see Russia from my house when I was there.
Sha. I TOTALLY could! See? It's right........there......Not only did I live in Alaska, I lived at a sawmill in Wasilla where this Pallin lady lives. How the hell did I end up in Wasilla, Alaska? Honestly, I had asked myself that same question over and over. As soon as I tell you though you'll totally get it. At least all you girls will.
I followed a boy there. I was 17. I was smitten and he wanted to go on to bigger and better things and wherever he went, I was gonna follow. I dropped outta high school, packed up my junk, said good bye to all my friends and was headed to experience those bigger and better things. I was starting a new life.

I lasted three months. No matter how smitten I thought I was, I had to get the hell outta dodge. Not only was it freezing ass cold (which I eventually got used to), but we also had no heat except for what came from an open flame on the propane powered stove. If we wanted electricity, we had to use a generator which we rarely ever really did (which meant no 90210!!!). We also had no running water. Yep, you take a poo and you gotta dump water down the toilet from a bucket instead of flushing and we had to go the a laundromat to shower which only happened every few days. Didn't matter, it was too cold to sweat and get all stinky. Crazy huh? OH! Did I mention that we lived in one of those trailers you pull behind a truck? Yeah. It was something like 19 feet long and 7 feet wide. AWESOME!

After about a month, the shine was wearing off. I missed my friends and my busy sweet ass teenage life. I mean, I loved my boyfriend and all, but I I needed my friends more than I had loved him. It was a hard hard realization to come to, but it was what it was. I was SEVENTEEN! I was so ready to go home. I had started to hate Alaska. There's just only so much Yahtzee a girl can play by the flame of a flickering lamp before she starts goin' absofreakinlutely batty.
Now, almost 15 years later, I see that experience as a much different one. I love the memories I have. I cherish them all. Despite how I felt while I was there, I now remember everything in that soft fuzzy glow they use for the centerfolds in Playboy magazine. I saw things I will probably never see again. I experienced things that I will most likely never again experience and now the smell of fresh cut wood (you know, living on a sawmill and all!) is one of my most favorite smells ever. I saw wolves (I even had one for a pet, but couldn't bring her home with me),I was stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of the northern lights (absolutely STUNNING), I saw ginormous meese (I know, I just like it better than mooses!) in our yard, and I even saw Eagles flying around free.
Alaska was amazing. It is the single most beautiful place I have ever been and I hope to go back some day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...