'Cuz I Felt Like It!

Growin ' up, we always had a "snow day" or two every single year. We'd watch the news until the last minute before our bedtime, prayin ' that our school would be on the list of school closings and the second we saw it was, we headed for bed anxious for the next day to get here already. We'd get up at the ass crack of dawn and start layerin ' the shit out of our clothes. We'd put ziploc baggies over our socks before we put on our shoes and then we'd head for the garage to grab a trash can lid so we could hit the hill in the neighbor's yard. We'd stay out for HOURS. Our fingers would damn near be fallin ' off by the time we got back in. The thawin ' out process was excruciating , but as soon as we had a bowl of ramen in our bellies and had somewhat regained the feelin ' in our fingers, we headed right back out. Man those were the days. Now, whenever snow's mentioned on the news, it's in the EXTREME northern part of the s...

I may have recently mentioned that I was in Halloween 2 .....three times. THREE TIMES!!! Why else would I be in that movie THREE times unless Rob Zombie thought I had some stellar actin' skills? Right? I had decided because of my stellar actin' skills, I was gonna move to Hollywood because I knew the movie rolls were gonna start comin' in at any minute and I'd certainly need an agent. Well, the plans to move have been sidetracked because I have kids and Hollywood ain't no town for kids. I figure I'm so awesome in Halloween 2 that all the movie producers, directors and agents will come to me no matter where I am. ....and I was totally right. Last week I was contacted by Jenn at BlondeShot Creative . She said as soon as she saw me in the movie she KNEW she had to do a shoot with me so she started her search for me immediately and after an exhausting six weeks, she had found me. She said my talent eclipsed any she had seen before.....that there was so much feeling ...

This past Saturday, I had a full day of awesomeness planned (another day at the Antique Mall, with the girl and a friend) so I got up at 8 so I could start on the torturous task of colorin' my hair. I went downstairs first to get Tina so she and baby wolf cat could have a play date with one of my cats that refuses to leave our bedroom, but when I wasn't lookin', Tina totally snuck in the bathroom (see her on the counter behind me?) so she could see what was goin' on. I tried to tell her the fumes were bad for her baby wolf cat, but she didn't listen. Who am I to tell her how to raise her baby...... Colorin' my hair blows. The worst part is brushin' it out first, hence the busy mane in the above photo. It's definitely not an easy task when you have the fro of curly knots that I have. After finally raking all the color through my hair, I put the last bit that was left over on my eyebrows........oh sweet jesus the burn. Somethin' was definitely wrong h...

Our friend Chewy came over for dinner last night and brought with her some ice cream so we could have ice cream sundaes afterwards. When she took the "ice cream" carton outta the bag, I saw that it said "frozen dairy dessert". I don't get it. I'm just not real clear on why they can't just call the ice cream, "ice cream". Is there some sorta copyright infringement issues? Like Bryers and Edy's and Ben & Jerrys and Haagan Dazs and.....I could go on and on......are the non-generic brands of ice cream the only ones that can call their ice cream, "ice cream"? I'm so confused.....and so retarded....I've spent and am still spending entirely too much time ponderin' this. When Chewy opened the carton I looked at it and said "where the hell's all the little black specks?"......she said "this shit ain't vanilla bean ice cream....it's frozen dairy dessert"..... I'll admit....I was a little a...

For days now Atlanta's been all buzzin' about the winter storm of 2010. Awesome. All the dipshits are gonna be at the store stockin' up on milk and bread. Why the hell you gotta buy milk and bread? The smart thing to do would be to go the liquor store and buy some whiskey to keep yourself warm. We decided to grill out steaks. Actually our friend Chewy said she was comin' over with steaks........I think it'll be new tradition. All the other asshats'll have milk and bread.....we'll have steak. As far as the winter storm.....we got like 16 inches.....of horse shit. We barely even got a dusting of snow. It was enough though for Tina to start frothin' at the mouth wantin' to take her baby wolfcat out for her first snow. She was so excited. She wanted to commemorate the occasion by writin' in the.....uh....snow. Sweet, sweet Tina. I remember my kids' first snow too. Those little rosy cheeks and frozen feet and fingers. I love snow. It's...

I've had a feelin' I've been bein' watched for days now. You know that tingly, hair standin' up on the back of your neck type a feelin'? Well, while I was uploading pictures from our second Christmas Ain't Over Yet Bitches Party (pictures comin' soon), I looked up to see Tina all eyeballin' me. Strangest damn thing and kinda creepy. She's been turnin' up in the oddest danged places. Luckily I had my camera nearby so I was able to catch her before she was off...... I'ma do my best to catch this fine furry feline, but she's a quick little wolfcat mama....