Skip to main content

It's A Love Hate Relatioship

Image
By
Aldi. Cheap as shit, but they only have one person working in the entire danged store. I'm all "HEEELLLOOO, y'all got any more of them little frozen beans??? HEEELLLLOOO!!!!" There's never anybody to answer me so I gotta go get in line and leave without my danged beans.


Sexy Slut Shoes. I like to try them on and buy 'em, and I like to wear 'em, but I just can't walk in them on crooked streets....or not so crooked streets for that matter. Normally, I weeble and I wobble, but I don't fall down....in heels.......I fall down. (P.S. I'm trying to get enough donations to buy myself these holy baby jesus kick ass Givenchy wedges. If you would like to donate, just let me know!).




My hair. It's awesome. It's big, fluffy, red, but seriously, there's just way too much of it, it's like a chia-pet>...add a little bit of water and that shit GROWS, it's always knotty and strangers wanna touch it....by the end of the night, I'm over it. Ever had your ass beat for touchin' someone's hair? No? Well, there's a first time for everything.



Flip Flops. What's not awesome about just slippin' on a pair of shoes? You ain't gotta bend over and tie 'em....just slip 'em on. You also get to show off your cute little painted toes (as a side note, if you wear open toed shoes, you MUST paint your toenails....it's the freakin' law y'all!). Yeah well, flip flops are great 'til you get 'em wet and go haulin' ass in your garage and land FLAT ON YOUR ASS....or......you go walkin' down your front porch that has wet steps and you fall FLAT ON YOUR ASS. Another thing that I hate is flip flop blowouts. You're all walkin' along in walmart headin' for the tonic aisle. You're holdin' a box of tampons and a can slim jims and *BAYAM!!!!* one of your flip flops busts the hell up and comes apart at the toes. You twist your ankle shit goes flyin' in the air and again, you land FLAT ON YOUR ASS.




Margaritas at lunch. You know by the time lunch finally rolls around, you could totally use a margarita. BUT....by the time lunch is over and you've had a few, you could totally use a nap and then your pissed because margarita time is O-V-E-R.

Unicorns. What's not to love about a unicorn, right? They're pretty and soft and make cooing neighing sounds AND they have these magical horns growin' outta their heads that have rubies inside the base of them. HOWEVER.....these creatures cannot be contained. You ever pissed a unicorn off? Yeah well, they're FIERCE wild animals and will fight to death if you try to capture them. Trust me, I know.
That's enough for now. I gotta DO WORK.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rev Run's Words of Wisdom

By
Yes my friends, it's time for another installment of the ever so wise Rev Run's Words of Wisdom...... "Never come down off your chariot to fight those who are throwing tomatoes" This goes back to the old tried and true saying, "pick your battles". Why stoop to someone else's level when it's just not worth it? Why raise your blood pressure? Nobody looks good all bug eyed with veins poppin ' outta their head because they're so worked up over what really amounts to nothing. We've all done it, and it just makes us look like fools. You gotta learn to sit back and watch people say and do stupid things, even if it pertains to you. It's way funner (another totally awesome word). Who cares if someone's talkin ' crap about you? Let it roll of your back. Why involve yourself with other people's stupid? Chances are, they're an insignificant person who has nothing better to do and hates life. Chances are, they're miserable ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Pain in Grief

By
Everyone grieves differently. Some people tend to keep it together as much as humanly possible so they can take care of everyone else, then they break down when they're finally alone. Some people flip their shit and go over the deep end which tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable, because what do you say to a person that's flipped their shit? Some people hole themselves up and just want to be alone, while others need to surround themselves with as many friends/family as possible. Then there's the people that decided no one loved the person that passed more than they did and no one is entitled to hurt like they are. All those people do is inflict unnecessary pain on others in a time where people are already hurting so deeply. Losing someone close to you hurts. Bad.....and crazy things come of it usually. Some good, some not so good. It can cause the people closest involved to make rash decisions that are irresponsible and hurtful to everyone else involved. You ar...
2 comments
Read more

On the Outside Lookin' In

By
You pass by it everyday. It's a house that you used to know so very well. The house is a pretty flippin' sweet ass house and you wonder what it's like on the inside now. One day you pull up in the driveway, get outta your car and go look in one of the windows. Your curiosity has gotten the better of you. You figure it's early in the morning, so what's the chances anyone will ever even notice? As you expected, everything pretty much looks the same, just different furniture and you're just not there anymore. You go back day after day lookin' in the windows and one day the person that lives there sees you and wonders what in the sam hell you're doin'. Since they really get a kick outta watchin' you all cuppin' your hands up to your face tryin' to get a peak in at what the house is like now, they just sit on the inside and watch. You look harmless enough. Day after day after day, you're on the outside lookin' in and they're on the...
Post a Comment
Read more