Us Bitches Are Goin' Out Tonight!

(Ok, so I've been wanting to use this picture FOREVER, but the story just hasn't produced itself until now. It's sort of a joke between BWB's who have been rumored to be a Mexican gang in Texas.)

Finally, a few of the Big Wheel Bitches are gettin' together....sans our manly counterparts. That's right, BWBs be highrollin' and I of course will start the night with a Starbucks because I'm an addict and totally lame like that.

As if everyone in Atlanta doesn't already know, 13 Roses Tattoo in East Atlanta is having their $13 tattoo on Friday the 13th special. You got a 20? You got a sweet ass tattoo, so we're totally gettin' in line for this tonight!

Hopefully the wait won't be too bad. I'm a little too antsy for my own good sometimes and I'll be surrounded by bars that will be tauting me. BECKONING me...."Come here Jessica, we got booze that loves you" (you gotta say that in a ghostly spooky kinda voice).

It will be a little weird bein' out without J, but I guess this is somewhat of his Valentine's gift to me....I go out, he stays home with the kids. That's the way I'm gonna choose to see it, because you can bet your ass I won't be gettin' anything else for V-Day. So yeah, tonight is his gift to me.

Really, I want this for V-Day....

What says love like a brass knuckles pick? Really, I WILL have this. Somehow. My list of unrealistic wants just grows. Lord knows I probably can't afford this just as I can't afford any of my much drooled over HK Tokidoki stuff. Again, damn you Hello Kitty.

Talking about Hello Kitty...I had a coupon for a free iced mocha at McD's so I stopped this morning and got myself one (not too bad I suppose, but definitely not Starbucks). While I was there I told them I wanted a Hello Kitty watch since they came in the Happy Meal. The chick just stood there eyeballin' me and shit all suckin' her teeth. I thought maybe she didn't hear me. I repeated myself a little louder. She said "next in line please". I said "ARE YOU FUCKIN' DEAF? I SAID I WANT A HELLO KITTY WATCH!"

Ok, so I didn't say that, but I was totally thinking it. Today's too nice and shiny out and I'm in a pretty good mood so I really just stood there not allowing "next in line" to be next.....I just stared at her until she said "Can I help you?" I told her again I wanted a hello kitty watch.

A few minutes later, I was out in my car. Mocha in one hand, bag with Hello Kitty watch in the other. Could this day get any better?!?!? Yeah, well......

You see the brown one? It's the 6th one over. THAT is the one I got. THAT AIN'T HELLO KITTY and I said I wanted Hello Kitty....NOT freakin' CHOCOCAT! I wanted the first one dangit!!!! But, really, any with Hello Kitty would've been fine.

Oh, well. It's just a cheap ol' watch. No big deal.

I'm totally goin' back until I get the one I want.

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

APB....Little Jimmy is Missing!!!

It's December 1st and Little Jimmy shoulda made his first appearance at the house this morning. Evidently, I hid Little Jimmy so good that last time last year that even I can't find him. This is no bueno. Little Jimmy is an Elf on the Shelf . We read the book, he shows up in a different spot every morning and watches and reports back to Santa every night. Seriously. The boy gets it. He knows. The elf ain't nothin' but a stuffed doll. The girl....she still believes. She was snoopin' around a week or so ago and found the book that Little Jimmy is SUPPOSED to be stuffed in after Christmas and said "Mom! Little Jimmy's not in his book! He's gone back to the North Pole to get all his instructions!" "Dammit. She STILL believes in Little Jimmy", I remember thinkin'. I mean really, you try comin' up with 30 different hidin' spots for a little elf that won't take your kids more than a few minutes to find every mornin...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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