Skip to main content

The Girl's Birthday!

This weekend was the girl's birthday and she wanted to celebrate with a girl's day out with a friend. We started out at Starbucks and her friend FLIPPED out over it! I was kinda afraid. She was totally spazzin'. I kinda get that way about Starbucks from time to time too, though so I get it. I don't know how the mom would feel about her kid being on a blog such as mine so you can only kinda see her.

After Starbucks we went to a girly store called Justice. They have these little party packages where the do the girls hair and makeup

and the get to decorate a shirt with markers and stencils....they even get to bedazzle that shit!...err...shirt I meant to say (as this is about children I should watch my mouth....yeah).

After they finished their shirts they got to pick out some stuff to put in their goody bag. I totally tried to get her to get all the things I wanted, but she was havin' none of it. Brat.

There was one point where the girl got a little quiet and sat to take a break. I just stared at her. All I could think was "oh shit, I am this awesome kid's mom". It's weird how things just hit you sometimes. It was pretty rare to catch her in a quiet moment so I snapped out of it and took her picture. Definitely one for the books.....I got a picture of the girl with her mouth shut. (The apple don't fall far from the tree!)Sometimes it still blows my mind that I have two kids. They couldn't be more different either. The girl is so much like me. Sometimes I just wanna smack the hell out of her, but only because she totally out does me. She's way awesomer than me. I know, I know......seems impossible that anyone could be any awesomer than me, but it's true.

So, we left Justice and went to eat Pizza then came home for cake and presents. It was pretty great. She got some gifts that got "that" response. You know, the response the brings on an earth shattering squeal that turns into a scream and a whole bunch of spasms. At one point I thought she was gonna put herself into some sorta seizure type fit she was freakin' out so much. I've never had that moment, and I'm glad my kids have.

Her favorite present was a baby that poos. Yep, poos. When she told me she wanted it I asked her why the hell she would want a pooin' baby, because it's totally not fun wipin' your own ass much less someone elses. She said she thought it'd be awesome to wipe a baby's butt. Whatevs.....

So, she got the pooin' baby. She wanted to feed it right away so she could see it poo. She started feeding it as the directions said. It was this awful pee green goo. All I could think was that green was totally gonna be squirtin' out that baby's butt at any moment. God knows the mess it would make. The baby kept talkin'..."I'm hungry....I'm full, I took a stinky mommy, I had an accident"....then BAM the poo comes. Green oozin' poo.....

Holy GAWD. Like I said...."Why do you want a baby that poos?"

So after the hilarity that ensued from the oozing green poo, we played with another of her gifts. I totally got suckered into this......
Yeah, that's oatmeal in my face. and honey. Oatmeal and honey. Fallin' off my face and down into the boobs. I was one sticky ass mess, but the girl thought it was the best spa experience of her life. It guess it was mine too, seeing as how it's the only spa experience I've ever had.
The day was awesome. We three girls had a blast. I wish I could've given her everything she wanted, but some things just aren't ever gonna be possible (like a unicorn or hello kitty shotgun).

With that, I will end with the best picture EVER of my kid tellin' me it's time to get off the computer......when I turned to say, "I'll be done in two minutes, this is what I saw......

Sweet huh? I am totally this kid's mom........

and this one's too!
Ain't they great????

Comments

Stitchblade said…
HA I still love that pic of him at the eyeglass store. HAHA! Looks like Iris had an awesome day! I'm so excited for Christmas! WoooHOOO
Anonymous said…
How awesome! The goofy pictures of the little ones OWN!
chinamommy said…
YOU are totally the kind of girl my mom would never let me hang out with, but since i'm 39 1/2... i get to pick- haha! your blog is crackin me up...
here's mine:
http://chinamommy04.blogspot.com/

so, i'm misschell & i'm reading your filth! LOL!

Popular posts from this blog

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...