Anybody Got an Extra Arm or two I Could Borrow?

This whole 9 to 5 job thing doesn't work for me. Well, 9:30ish to 4 in my case, but I digress.

I seriously have so much to do in life outside of work that it's making me go all batty and crosseyed and shit.

First, this weekend is the Hot Rodz & Hillbillyz Car Show .

Not only is the the FUNNEST (yes, I said funnest) car show EVER, but I also get to run my car on a dirt track! Here I am last year in the Comet (white car).
There ain't nothin' like haulin' it down a dirt track with a little "Gucci Crew II" blarin'. Yeah, that's right....GUCCI CREW II! I freakin' love the Cabbage Patch!

HOWEVER, this year I also have some responsibilities which means I gotta take it a little slower on the gin and tonics (pstht....right). Myself and some of my fellow Big Wheel Bitches have decided to do a bake sale! Who doesn't love a bake sale???? I've gotta make a kazillion jello shots (mmmm.....jello shots!), some S'mores and fudge. No actual baking involved for me since my oven has been broken for the past six months. Let's hope I actually sell more jello shots than I consume. I can see it now. I wonder how many jello shots I can fit in my mouth at one time. Mmmm.....I love jello shots.....did I already tell you that?

After camping at said car show, we will pull our hungover asses back home and have to clean the cars. Our poor babies will be covered inside and out in dirt which by the time the morning dew sets in, will be more like a thin layer of mud. Why not just wait and clean the cars later you might ask? Well, would you want your baby sit in a thin layer of mud longer than he or she had to? I bettin' no and you see, to me, my car is my baby. I can't let dirt sit on her! She'll just soak it all up and end be tea colored. Plus she's gonna need a lot of TLC after what I put her through this weekend. Ugh.....poor thing. Let's pray she can make it home on her on four wheels!

See, LOTS of dirt! You'll find that shit in places you didn't even know you had by the time you get to bathe!The SECOND thing coming up is all the Halloween stuff. I've got the costume situation under control. My son wants to be the same thing as last year, so I'm good there. My daughter wants to be a vintriliquist's dummy. I've bought her tux and hat off ebay already so there's another thing crossed off my list. NEXT weekend is the Fall Festival at my daughter's school immediately followed by the Halloween Festival and Parade in L5P. It's always awesome, but it's always a stress to get there. My husband HATES people so you can only imagine the fun in getting there and getting around in the crowd! Last but not least on my list is the upcoming holiday season. I gotta get my ass a' sewin'! I have to get a new stock of bears to the Spruill Gallery for their big Holiday House and have just about nothing to stock it with! This whole economy thing really just blows and because of it, I haven't been sewing much. I think my little Battle Scarred Bears are WAY down on the "Things To Buy" list for people right now so I just haven't been making them. Well that and I'm just too damn busy to be making them right now!!!

Anybody got an extra arm or two I could borrow? Maybe a time machine that will give me a few extra hours in the day? Maybe a lifetime of free money so I can quit my 9ish to 4 job? Anybody? Helloo??

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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