Do They Make A Pill For That?

Forget, forget, forget. Always.

Gettin' on phone to yell at someone (i.e. cable company)....go over what you need to say in your head first so you don't sound like a total fucktard.

Long blogs don't hold my attention.

Suck at tellin' jokes, wanna be good at trivia.

One main issue.....attention span....ain't got none.....Does it equal laziness???

See that list? That list is how I function on a day to day basis. I started writing the below red colored paragraphs and kept getting lost and had to stop to write down the above things so I could remember to touch on them.

I can't remember shit. I can't stay focused. I have to write anything and everything down if I wanna remember it. I cannot multi-task. To see me tryin' to multi-task is to see a retard jerkin' around in a strobe light. What's my damn problem???

Did I do a shit ton of drugs when I was a kid? No. That shit's for hippies. Ok, so I did do some, but I quickly moved on.

I have a million things that I wanna to do. I think about doing them, but that's as far as I get. I have a severe case of no motivation. I'm lazy. Way lazy.....but am I really? Maybe I just have a focus issue. I CAN'T do more than one thing at a time. Just can't. When I'm interrupted, it takes me two years to get back to whatever I was doing. It's gettin' worse and worse too. Don't interrupt me. Ever.

I have so many issues that there's gotta be a pill that can help me with at least a few of them. Not that I'd take it, because if my finger got cut off, I'd just take Ibuprofen. I don't EVER take medicine.....I think if you take medicine to fix one thing, it'll give you some other issue that you'll need another pill to fix and on and on and on.

First problem.....I'll think of something and think "I gotta remember that for later"......like somethin' I wanna google or somethin' funny I wanna tell Jeremy. Not two seconds later, it's gone. I try SO HARD to remember random things, but I just can't retain them. I just wanna be able to tell a joke to someone without totally fuckin' it up, by forgettin' it half way through. When I was a teenager, I was ALWAYS writing on my wrists. Sometimes there'd be a whole damn list of shit on my arm.....it was the only way I was able to pass anything.

Do I have ADD? They make a pill for that....I know.

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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