Skip to main content

A Man of Many Hats

I do my best to torture Jeremy on a daily basis. Like show him who's boss and stuff (psht, right). Ewww.....Talkin' about showin' somebody who's boss....have any of y'all read The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty books? Sweet lord o-mighty.......don't. That is unless you're into severe slave and master type shit. Readin' it's almost like reading about non-stop rape. Man rape, woman rape,.....it's all there and so very wrong. It's been really hard to get through the books. I knew goin' in it was non-stop.......for a lack of a better word......bonin' in and S&M sorta way. I just had no idea the extent of the S&M. It's just WAY too much for me. I can handle a little hair pullin' and a little smack on the ass, but not.....ugh....I can't even write about it......it's just too much. I'm determined to make my way through all three books though no matter how many times I have to put it down and walk away.

Anyhow.....

This is my last of the pictures from mine and Jeremy's 4 hour excursion at the Big Shanty Antique Mall....and yes, I made Jeremy put on hats. It wasn't without eyeball rollin' and him givin' me the crazy eyes though.

One of the hats was a shriner hat and who doesn't wanna be a shriner? I mean there's a secret hand shake I'm sure....and probably a secret tunnel somewhere too. Then....THEN, there's those little minicars they drive around in parades and stuff.....

The hat is half way there to all the gloriousness that is being a shriner.

There were several of these little yamakas. Ok, so they're not yamakas, but they were funny as shit and I wanna call 'em yamakas. Just look at that face.......he hated me.

I've saved the best hat for last. It was also, in my opinion, the BEST gift at our Christmas Ain't Over Yet Bitches party. I can just picture. Jeremy in some fancy band uniform. Marchin' around blowin' hard on a tuba, cheeks all puffed out.....AHAHAHAHAAA. I loved this hat. I wish I still had it.

Oh wait.....there was also this hat. I call it Tangerine Vagina. Just look at the beast that it is...but....how did I NOT see that hat that's behind me there on the right? Holy god. It's like a puffalump safari hat and who doesn't love puffalump safari hats?!?!? I'll have to try it on next time we go.

Comments

Ally said…
1. I love how thrilled he looks - my husband would never let me snap those pix - you've got a good man there.
2. I can't believe he shopped with you for FOUR hours - again a good man you've got there.
3. I totally forgot my sound was on and jumped out of my skin when the radio on your page boomed Sevendust. Ha ha!

Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
Cooking Asshole said…
Looks like georgia o'keefe designed that hat you are wearing.
Ally.....he was NOT happy about the hats! I'm not sure how I convinced him to wear them, but it probably involved nookie.....and as far as the shopping goes the antique mall is an exception, because there is just SO MUCH awesomeness!
Cooking Asshole...I'd say that hat probably looks her vagina.....ewww....bad visual there....sorry bout that.
Anonymous said…
i was having a shitty day and thought reading you blog would cheer me up.. and it did.. Tangerine Vagina.. thank you! i needed that :)

courtney.. blchblndpsycho
I'm always here for ya Courtney!

Popular posts from this blog

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...